Why is a man afraid of a woman he is in love with?
Why is a man afraid of women? Strong sex, strong position. What is it, by the way, is it? If you look deeply, the relationship of the two sexes is the interaction of two forces - giving and receiving. It would seem that if a woman has the essence of receiving, then why should a man be afraid? And here is the most interesting …
Why is a man afraid of women? Strong sex, strong position. What is it, by the way, is it? If you look deeply, the relationship between the sexes is the interaction of two forces - giving and receiving. And the man is exactly the giving side - this is how it works.
It would seem that if a woman has the essence of receiving, then why should a man be afraid? And here is the most interesting thing. The fact is that in order for this bestowal to occur, the activity of the receiving side is necessary. In other words, in order for a man to realize his masculinity, he must be accepted by a woman. There can be no giving without receiving.
Since in our so far imperfect world, not all processes go smoothly, the ideal balance of male and female in its design is also sometimes distorted. It must be admitted that a man really has something to be afraid of - after all, he risks his very masculinity, that is, everything.
Afraid, hesitant, or not in love?
Is he afraid or am I afraid? Imaginary fears and loves
Not always, when it seems to us that a man is afraid, this is really so. It happens that we perceive a person through ourselves and attribute our own fears to him, not recognizing them in ourselves. We can ascribe falling in love - according to the same principle. And with common phrases like "men are afraid of strong women" or "men are afraid of beautiful" we often mistakenly explain to ourselves a banal lack of attraction.
In which movie is the mother, comforting the girl, telling her: “He hit you because he likes you”? A brilliant example of how we, defending our "self-esteem", misinterpret the actions of people or their absence.
Signs of male love
When a boy likes a girl, he is visited by the first erotic fantasies in his life: here he protects the girl from hooligans, but he saves her from the water. Unaccountable pleasant excitement also causes the desire to treat the girl you like - candy, ice cream, lemonade - with what he himself loves. Growing up, he already seeks to show himself from his best side - to be the first to reach the finish line, to score a goal in front of her eyes, to sing a song of his own composition with her guitar.
So in an early man, the intention wakes up to alimony and protect his woman, as well as to achieve a noticeable position in society in order to be worthy of his chosen one. The same thing happens in adulthood. When a man is in love, he:
- feeds a woman and gives her gifts,
- demonstrates his achievements,
- seeks to protect, help in difficulties.
But what if he doesn't show himself?
Afraid or hesitant?
A man may not be afraid of a woman at all, but of his wrong actions. The fear of making a mistake, disgracing, doing something wrong is characteristic of people with a special mentality. Born family men, attentive lovers and the most reliable husbands in potential may hesitate for a long time not only to offer a hand and heart to their beloved, but also simply to be the first to meet a girl they like. If a person with an anal vector in life has had at least one case, for example, refusal, then a bad experience can become a trauma. A person from indecisive turns into pathologically indecisive.
We are so different that we can easily scare away, inadvertently hurt or harm someone, simply by remaining ourselves and behaving completely naturally to ourselves. We do not understand the actions of other people, we do not understand why they behave this way and not otherwise.
Fear that often arises in a man is caused by the peculiarities of his perception. For example, if an anal man, unconsciously evaluating the world according to the criterion of "clean-dirty", the behavior of the woman he likes seems not chaste enough, he will suspend his actions and, possibly, end the relationship.
A man with a urethral vector is not afraid of anything. But appointed by nature itself to be one and only, he will simply disappear, feeling that the woman he likes is making a choice between him and other applicants. Why? The most giver of the giver, from birth set up to fill a lack, he feels this lack or its absence more acutely than others.
Noise-sensitive, withdrawn and melancholic men are afraid of loud and overly emotional manifestations. It takes energy, distracts from thoughts and just seems pointless. I would like to fence myself off. It is important to understand this point, because audible introverts and visual extroverts naturally feel attraction, as they complement each other.
To separate fear from indecision, and innate detachment from lack of interest, you need to understand who you are dealing with. Our mental composition is different, and having defined it, we can understand with a high degree of accuracy the intentions, values and even trauma of a person. Our perception of reality depends on the psyche, which means - the kind of "fear" or what we take for it.
Inaction and reasons
What is the name of the fear of meeting and how does it arise?
If, along with the anal vector, a visual one is also present in a man, then the painful experience of rejected or ridiculed love is not only generalized, but also scaled in accordance with the increased volume of visual experiences, and the person experiences what is called gynophobia. In addition to understanding the causes, there is another remedy for this fear. All fears born in the visual vector can be transformed into their opposite - compassion and love. How it is done - Yuri Burlan tells in detail at the training "System-vector psychology".
Why are men afraid of beautiful women?
Male active actions are always the answer to a female request. If the man does not take any steps towards intimacy at all, there may be something wrong with the request. That is, with the desire of the woman herself or her condition.
Unconsciously, a man responds to an unconscious pheromone message from a woman, her lack. Or does not respond - if there is no shortage, and the message signals a not very good condition - resentment, fear, hostility. There are very strong discrepancies between appearance and smell, and the beauty and the clever are bypassed.
A beautiful woman who is shunned by men may just be overly self-centered. For example, the visual vector in this case is manifested by excessive attention to appearance, fears and attention-attracting behavior - up to hysterics. Sound concentration on oneself leads to indifference to others, sometimes to one's own body and appearance, almost always to a decrease in libido.
Can it hold back and repel a man? Can.
One more example. If a man with an anal vector was rejected or deceived by a beautiful woman, then, summarizing this experience, he will decide that all beautiful women are dangerous, or "fatal". Probably, the concept of "fatal beauty" and appeared.
Why men are afraid of strong women
What does a strong woman mean? A modern woman herself gives birth and brings up, earns and achieves, that is, she is able to protect herself and her child. If before a woman was completely dependent on men, today it is different.
Strong is often perceived as a woman who is not just realized and can do everything herself, but from whom there is no feeling of lack in a man. Even if she consciously seeks a relationship, unconsciously she can broadcast: "I don't need anyone." As a rule, this is supported by a certain attitude towards men. Such a conclusion may come from negative experience, one's own or parental family.
Another option is when a man himself is not fully realized and feels insecure that he is able to give something to a woman. Since it is fundamentally important for a man to be more giving, he needs to realize himself as much as possible in society in order to be able to help and support a woman. And then the couple can take place.
There is one exception when a woman is naturally stronger than a man in a couple. This is a pair of a dominant urethral woman and a gentle skin-visual boy. She has a desire to be bestowing. He has an urgent need for security and safety, since there is no specific role of his own. If such a man and a woman find each other, they are able to create a strong happy union.
And even in this unique pair, where, as a tendency, she alimits and protects, and not he, there is a place for his return and its receipt. This is intercourse. He is without a specific role, but still a man. She - with bestowing properties, but still a woman. And in the most holy, these two unite in their essence.
Anyone would be afraid
Remember how the main character of the film "Impromptu" scared her lover with her pressure? By the way, more than unfeminine behavior, the hero was repelled by gossip that she was seeking him out of mercantile interests. Nobody wants to be used - physically, financially, or emotionally. But most of all people are afraid of this, the most rational by nature. They unconsciously look for benefit and benefit in everything and can take someone's strong passion for the pursuit of benefit and the intention to use.
Today, when pseudo-psychologists and pseudo-trainers en masse incite women to manipulate men, without any personal slander, men are at least wary of women.
There is one more important point. Regardless of the vector features, any normal man strives to be the only one with his chosen one. This is due to the fact that unconsciously he wants guarantees of the paternity of the children born. And these guarantees were formed by nature in the form of female shame - a taboo that restricts female behavior.
Female bashfulness is assigned to 95 percent of women, and if it is, then it does not allow a woman to enter into a relationship with more than one man. The presence of female shyness instantly awakens the intention to marry in a man. As much as this quality is attractive to men, just as its absence scares a man with serious intentions.
There is an exception - a woman with a specific role, skin-visual. An extraordinary woman. Anti-woman. The one that does not want to give birth. She has a specific role, which means that she is perfectly realized in society on an equal basis with a man. If the muse is the leader, only he is ready to belong to him, inspiring actions that lead the whole flock to the future. It is she who spreads love and inspires mercy.
Nobody understands me the way I don't understand myself
There is also a woman with a sound vector. The woman is so unusual that she is even strange.
The woman is a mystery. Interesting, thoughtful, attractive, deep. A stone face, staring at the clouds or looking at himself. He doesn't greet anyone - he doesn't notice. If he notices, it penetrates with cold to the depths of the soul. A riddle for itself. He only knows what he definitely does not want. She is not interested in outfits, household and children, she will roll her eyes contemptuously in response to a man's offer to buy her shoes, perfume or a house in Provence. Avoids noisy gatherings, can hardly stand silly chatter. He doesn't always know what he really wants. A dark, diffused feeling lures her to the high, secret, unknown, eternal. That which is exactly higher is more important and more voluminous than everyday, so to speak, joys. She even imagines love in her own way.
If you ask her about her desires, the answers are likely to be:
- I do not know what I want,
want nothing (leave me alone),
- I want the moon from the sky / philosopher's stone for birthday / eternity.
The man is lost. How to be a man - alimony, protect, create a family, have children - with a woman who doesn't need it?
A beautiful home, healthy children, a loving husband, wealth, travel and position in society are not of the same importance to her as to other women. This is the very exceptional woman who, when asked about the worst quality of a man, answers: "Stupidity."
The sound woman, like the sound man, consists of a dominant desire to know oneself, to comprehend infinity. The desire - to reveal the hidden, to know the unknown and to go beyond the limits of physical reality - requires its filling, even if it is not obvious to the person himself.
By the way, the more clearly a person realizes this innate desire to know himself, the more meanings he finds, the easier it is for him to communicate with others, the more lively his “earthly part”. For example, a sound woman, when she is filled with a search, can rejoice at flowers, gifts, and a delicious dinner, that is, everything that she will not even notice in a state of lack. Then she smells differently - a woman! - an alluring and receiving, not a dangerous and cold snow queen.
What I can? (the question is not only male, but also female)
For a man not to be afraid of the woman he is in love with, it is not enough for a woman to be sincere, pure, grateful, and bashful. It is not enough to understand a man and the reasons for his fears. The woman also needs to understand her own desires. Real, heartfelt, and not imposed by the environment. And learn to fill them yourself. Why do this?
First, these simple steps will restore your peace of mind. We are happy when we fulfill our desires.
Secondly, they will add attractiveness, since our states "smell" to others and always affect their attitude towards us.
Thirdly, understanding what we really want opens up a new way of realizing oneself as a couple. Paired relationships are more than me. These are sensations of a different order.
And finally, fourthly, it will free the man from the frightening obligation to fill our "want", a black hole the size of God, alone.
Man and woman. Who needs who more
The human psyche is one big "want". Male psyche - "I want a woman." Women's - these are three "want": I want security and safety, alimony, offspring.
She inspires him to realize, he reaches the limit for her. A woman's request tickles the man's brain, and a man builds, invents, achieves, conquers.
Man and woman are mutually connected at the level of deep unconscious desires. This relationship turns her and him into one whole.
Falling in love is already a connection, its very beginning. And from that moment on, he and she have an influence on each other. He - by actions, she - by desire, both - by the state. If a man is afraid of a woman he is in love with, or even if it only seems so, then something is wrong with the state - her or him. And this always means that there are some unfulfilled desires - he or she.
The whole psyche is desires. Therefore, there is only one recipe for a way out of such a situation, and it is common for both men and women:
- Find out your unconscious desires.
- Implement them.
What does this give a woman?
A woman who knows what she wants is a happy woman. Knowing our heartfelt needs, we live more precisely. There are no painful voids, which means that there are no obstacles to internal balance. A woman satisfied with life is generous and attractive. And a woman who knows that a connection with a man is one of the innate aspirations is realized with pleasure in this area.
What does it give a man?
To realize his “can”, a man needs to reveal his unconscious desires, which are always provided with the appropriate abilities, and act. Even the first successes in the vocation instill confidence and self-esteem. Women unconsciously read not only the already realized achievements, but also the male potential.
The opening of the psyche has another important effect. Feminine strength lies in the ability to receive; without it, neither he nor she will be completely happy. In order to fulfill your main task - to inspire a man, it is important to cleanse your receiving vessel - the psyche - from false beliefs and trauma accumulated in the course of life. A woman who knows how to accept, trust, and simply rejoice in male achievements, a representative of the fair sex with one smile, one glance, one presence gives a man courage and strength.
She inspires - he works. She wants - he can. When a man and a woman become a couple, a new world is born. In which at a new level the psychic law “I want - means I can” continues to operate. Therefore, the fruits and pleasure in a pair are of a different order.