How to improve relations with your wife
Remember your first meetings? Why did you choose your spouse? Why did she marry you? Why did you fall in love? To save a marriage, it is better not to act on a whim or advice. And find a solution to the problem yourself, finding out the formula of the human soul, knowing exactly what the spouse wants and you really …
Even if you're a thousand times right, what's the point if your woman is crying?
V. Vysotsky
It's impossible to live like that. A series of disagreements, misunderstandings. What else does she want ?! Women's days? Received. I tolerate … Stress? Received. Tired with a child, at work - I understand. What else to do? How to improve relations with your wife if you have tried everything and nothing helps?
“Shaking my nerves”, finding fault, controlling, “putting out the brain” … For a day or two, the relationship is fine, and then because of a trifle, a couple of phrases - again a quarrel. The wife moved away. Sometimes we try to talk about relationships, make peace. We come back to the claims.
Sex has become less frequent … There is no pleasure as before. Grievances have accumulated. And so I want to return the warmth of former feelings. To feel like a man again in the eyes of his wife, I want respect, tenderness, understanding. But in fact, only cold, discontent, nagging. My wife began to talk about divorce often, but I want to keep the family together.
How to improve family relations with a wife on the verge of divorce
Remember your first meetings? Why did you choose your spouse? Why did she marry you? Why did you fall in love?
There was a lot of communication and it was pleasant. I wanted to be close, talk, enjoy together. And then…
Sexual attraction fuels relationships only for the first time. Then we need a base, we need mutual work on relationships.
The main thing that a woman needs to get from a man is a sense of security and safety.
Only this gives her psychological comfort: instead of a nervous, eternally dissatisfied wife, a happy, calm woman, ready for dialogue, will appear in front of you.
How to improve relations with his wife after a quarrel, to create a base of healthy relationships, Yuri Burlan will tell in detail at the free online lectures "System-vector psychology".
We'll cover the basics here.
How to keep a family and improve relationships with your wife: advice from friends and psychologists
Tips on how to improve family relationships with his wife, on the Internet, the sea. Each friend is ready to give good advice, mom prompts, psychologists offer special rules of behavior.
But everyone has their own life, personal experience, script. And through their experience, through their mental structure, loved ones, sincerely wishing us well, give completely erroneous advice.
Mom may not look like a spouse at all, have opposite vectors of the psyche, desires. You are also not identical to your wife, so you perceive her through yourself.
“I feel good at home, but she always needs somewhere,” complains a man with traditional values, for whom home, family, parents are the most important.
If a spouse has a skin vector or a skin-visual ligament of vectors, she has no life without society. Active, active, sociable. She loves her husband, family, but she finds it unbearable to be at home for a long time. She feels like she's in a cage.
To save a marriage, it is better not to act on a whim or advice. And to find a solution to the problem yourself, finding out the formula of the human soul, knowing exactly what the spouse wants and you really want.
The formula for the relationship between husband and wife
Family happiness depends on three main components:
- feelings of security and safety,
- emotional connection,
- mutual understanding - when the desires and characteristics of a loved one are as clear as their own.
An emotional connection is something intimate, personal that unites two people as a couple. Something that cannot be taken out of the world of two.
If a woman tells everything to her mother, her friends, a man tells a friend, then the mystery of two is violated, the secret is scattered around the world. A full cup of love and interpenetration is poured out. How to feed a relationship? Where to get strength, unity, inspiration?
Feelings are the seed of a relationship, they need to be protected only for each other
You can read about how important a conversation is and how to build it right for spouses here.
I remember how my husband grumbled when I asked him to talk in the evenings: “Why are you telling all this? Don't you have any girlfriends? So find it!"
He was not ready to speak on subtle topics, he considered them “feminine”. Guys don't talk about feelings and experiences …
And I so wished that he was my friend, the closest and only one. There were many things I still didn't understand then. When I got to the training "System-vector psychology", it turned out that all this is understandable.
Heart-to-heart conversations
It is a woman's task to awaken the desire in a man to talk. The wife does not always know how to do it right. Often women themselves are closed, or the tone of the dialogue is set in the form of claims, insults, and teachings.
When a woman has not yet reached the brink and is ready to discuss her experiences in a positive way, this is almost a victory in the relationship. It is infinitely valuable that it is with her beloved husband that she wants to share her feelings. Don't miss this chance.
You refuse - she will run to her friend and all that feminine, intimate will carry her, and not you. It is the sincerity, openness, trust of a woman that is the fuel for mutual feelings and attraction. This is what makes two people the only one for each other. And this is what the man is charged with, as a result of which there are successes in work and society.
Don't want to listen to complaints and claims? Start the conversation yourself.
- Ask your wife not to nag you for a week, offer to talk about feelings, dreams, desires, childhood.
- Watch together films of empathy that make you want to cry. Share your feelings with each other.
Watching such a movie together, reading books together helps to create an emotional connection. When you worry about the heroes, you feel it together. The attunement of your souls takes place, the feelings open deeper. No matter how painful it is to watch the war, heartbreaking films … They really help to open hearts.
Talking and understanding each other is the key to how to improve family relationships with your wife
Men are less inclined to sincere conversations, showing feelings is considered unmanly. But this is the most effective way to keep your family together and improve relationships.
No matter how much specific advice psychologists give: “buy flowers”, “go to a cafe”, “listen to her” … It doesn't work.
It is important not just to listen to your wife, but to hear and understand. I have many examples of friends who, visiting psychologists, were unable to improve family relationships. And I am very glad that the training helped them.
Best psychologist - husband
When a woman demands attention, says “you don’t love me”, you need to read: “I do not have enough emotional connection, spiritual closeness with you”.
When a spouse complains about a lack of money, she lacks confidence in the future, a sense of security and safety from her spouse.
Each person sees the other through himself. And no matter how much you want to understand your wife, get into her head, you will not be able to do this without knowledge from the training "System-vector psychology".
The features of her psychological structure will be revealed before you, you can see your spouse in reality, it is her desires. Mathematically pinpoint your differences and understand each other.
The roots of our desires lie in the unconscious. When we learn to figure it out ourselves, this is the surest way to not only normalize the relationship, but also make it perfect, the way you want it. You will no longer be annoyed by the spouse's dissimilarity to you, you will understand exactly why she behaves this way, what kind of property, desire is looking for fulfillment. And instead of bewilderment and reproach, justification will appear. Understanding each other will help you become a whole, where you as a patrician and a matrix will complement each other.
When one soul speaks for two, it is not about similarity, it is about deep understanding, where even the desires of the other half that are unlike yours become as important as your own.
Not everyone can give their wife a Lexus. But talk to your wife frankly, say that you need her faith in you, support, you can. And she will respond to your sincerity and trust with her warmth.
We will not write here about how to improve relations with an ex-wife. This is a big separate topic, where a child is the most precious thing, which makes a man compromise.
And if you and your wife are still in the status of a spouse, then the topic of "ex" after Yuri Burlan's training will not affect you.
In the process of free lectures, your family relationships, work affairs and more will already begin to improve … Check it out for yourself.
