Sexual Assault - How to Survive
The scale of the problem of sexual violence does not fit into the official statistics - this was illustrated by the campaign # I Am Not Afraid to Say, which took place last summer on social networks. The users who took up the initiative published stories on the Internet about how they became victims, to one degree or another, suffered from sexual violence.
How to survive violence? Where to contact?
A doctor in the resuscitation car is holding the head of a 16-year-old patient with an awkward, "ragged" hairdo. The girl cut her hair in defiance of her pimp when he sent her to sexual assault to another client.
This is a shot from the film "Lilya Forever" by the Swede Lucas Moudisson about a girl who fell into sexual slavery in a foreign country. The aforementioned doctor is the only man in the entire film who touches the heroine in a fatherly way. While she is receiving emergency medical care, his palm rests next to her disheveled strands - torn, like the fate of the girl, in which she has seen scum of all stripes.
How to survive violence? Where to contact?
Shut up, or I'll kill you
When Leela is given a chance to escape, she rushes around the city, runs away from the police car, instead of asking for help and reporting the offenders. Those who actually have reason to hide from the guards. She was intimidated and threatened that she would be killed if she went to the authorities.
I'm not afraid to say
The scale of the problem does not fit into the official statistics - this was illustrated by the # I Am Not Afraid to Say campaign, which took place last summer on social networks. The users who took up the initiative published stories on the Internet about how they became victims, to one degree or another, suffered from sexual violence.
The rapists are often not maniacs jumping around the corner in a dark alley, but close people - relatives, friends, spouses …
The comments to the flash mob stories clearly showed how difficult it is to find an interlocutor to discuss such a delicate topic who would not stigmatize the victim with the notorious “it's her own fault”, helped to cope with legal, emotional and physical problems.
Rewrite the script of life
With the help of Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology, more than ten thousand people dealt with a variety of innermost problems, without making them public and without discussing intimate moments with anyone. They were able to get rid of negative experiences and change their life scenario.
What does the problem of sexual violence look like and what to do with it from the point of view of system-vector psychology?
Any sexual abuse is, first of all, a blow to the feeling of security and safety.
I'm in the house
“I want a doll, pencils to draw, and a pink schoolbag,” says the film's heroine Lilya in the “house” made of sofa bedspreads. "Building materials" for the "hut" - textiles of frivolous "leopard" colors. Only such was found in the apartment, where she was held against her will. But in the "leopard house" the girl managed to feel like a small child who is not in danger.
Speaking in terms of system-vector psychology, the heroine of the film was looking for an opportunity to feel something close to a sense of security and safety, which is indispensable for healthy life.
It is not easy to return it to the victim of an attack, sexual violence, but it is possible if one realizes the deep reasons for desires, of which the human psyche is woven.
Sexual abuse of children
It is especially important to maintain the child's sense of security. Children from families in which real, rather than made-to-be, well-being reigns, are less likely to become victims and are not sexually abused. Even a child who has already been raped will be more traumatized if his parents help him regain confidence in safety.
In a child under six years of age, the mental state completely depends on what his mother is going through. And until the age of 16, a teenager still needs a sense of security from his mother, which means he depends on her conditions. If she is realized, calm, confident, then this sense of self will be passed on to her children. The competent development of his innate talents also helps to form this feeling in a child.
A child or adolescent who has been sexually abused should not be shamed, blamed, or scolded. It happens that a raped girl's own mother hangs anchors: “What, did you run? Rape? " In fact, adults are solely responsible for rape in childhood or adolescence.
Parents, if they relate to the current situation correctly, support the girl, can thus maximally ease her trauma from the attack.
It is especially difficult for a boy who is a victim of a rapist. For a boy, sexual abuse is a huge psychological trauma, because an ancient taboo is being violated. Since ancient times, such an impact made a man a social zero, deprived of the right to a piece of a common mammoth and a woman. When sexually abused, a boy experiences intense social shame, peak suffering that can even lead to suicide.
How to protect children and adolescents?
The causes of pedophilia are associated with the complex structure of the sexuality of the anal vector. Initially, it was directed not only at a woman, but also at a teenage boy. Normally, this attraction is sublimated into the transfer of experience to the younger generation, so men with an anal vector make the best teachers, true friends of children, who are ready for anything for them, like Janusz Korczak.
With underdevelopment or severe social, sexual frustration, a man with an anal vector may experience direct attraction to a teenage boy (which sometimes takes the form of attraction to a girl or a same-sex partner). Realizing this desire, he is horrified, experiencing the strongest tension between "want" and "not allowed."
But since the psyche is a desire that grows over time, either a crime or death can remove the illegal craving. In this difficult confrontation, a man is able to literally bring himself to a heart attack.
Awareness of the unconscious reasons for one's own aspirations with the help of system-vector psychology is able to relieve the tension of forbidden desires and direct thoughts towards healthy realization.
Parents need to understand the deep roots of sexual abuse, which makes it possible to protect a child or adolescent from a rapist. In a family where they have systemic knowledge, they can protect the child from attack. Such parents accurately identify men with pathological attraction to children and adolescents. There are a number of signs that make it possible to recognize frustrated and underdeveloped representatives of the anal vector, prone to violent crimes. This recognition skill is not difficult to acquire.
Who Is Sexually Abused?
The All-Russian Center for the Study of Public Opinion last summer found out how our compatriots feel about the problem of violence. The poll showed that 44% of Russians believe that the victims of violence are to blame.
According to the logic of these people, it turns out, they say, the victim put on a short skirt, and the man could not resist - is it her own fault?
The responsibility for sexual assault always lies with the perpetrator. But for those who are not ready to rely on the consciousness of underdeveloped or frustrated representatives of the anal vector, who want to force themselves, and do not want to become a victim, it is useful to know the reasons for victimization.
Don't be afraid, I'm with you
System-vector psychology explains the phenomenon of victimization … by the degree of the ability to empathize! Fans of Kir Bulychev's books about Alice will surely remember one of the illustrative alterations in which the girl fell.
She found herself in a cave with fantastic creatures that feed on fear. Or rather, those who are afraid. Alice so selflessly saved her comrade, who was fighting in horror at the possibility of becoming a victim of these monsters, that she forgot about herself. But her friend still fell into the clutches of the fear eaters. And the girl was saved.
Why? When worrying about a friend, you cannot be afraid for yourself. What does sexual violence have to do with it? Given that, more often than others, representatives of the visual vector in a state of fear (that is, insufficiently developed or temporarily stressed) become victims.
In a developed state, modern spectators know how to sympathize with someone else's misfortune like no other. Compassionate, experiencing not fear for themselves, but empathizing with another, they direct emotionality for the benefit of other people. Otherwise, all this rich potential of emotions falls on them in the form of fear of death. A spectator in unfavorable conditions is capable of harming herself and a whole group of people.
People are able to unconsciously read the state of a person by his pheromone background. When the owner of the visual vector is in fear, she at the same time exudes the smell of a victim, attractive to criminals. Having realized the peculiarities of this mechanism, you can learn to bring fear out, transforming it into other emotions, and “rewrite” your victim's scenario, multiplying the likelihood of meeting a rapist.
Surely you have met women who leave the husbands of sadists and rapists, find new men who … beat and humiliate them again. “Again on the same rake! How can?! Are you a masochist ?! " Yes, most likely you are right, she is the owner of the skin vector, who was beaten and humiliated in childhood, which led to the formation of a masochistic complex. All her relationships with men are an unconscious S&M conspiracy, when they are attracted to each other more than a magnet.
How to break the vicious cycle? How to break the deadlock? Understanding and working through long-forgotten childhood traumas helps us get on the right path, in which there is no place for humiliation and coercion.
Coping with Sexual Abuse
If, nevertheless, it was not possible to prevent the attack, understanding the mechanisms of the functioning of the psyche with the help of system-vector psychology will help to cope with the resulting stress. This will help the victim of violence take off the burden from the soul of what happened in the past. Understanding the causes of fears and phobias - getting rid of attacks of horror and soberly assessing the current situation, which will make it possible to continue living a full life.
“This world is not so good,” says the heroine of the movie Lilya Forever, looking at the city from the roof of a high-rise building. It is difficult to imagine how a victim of violence could think otherwise. But her only friend, who came to her in a dream, recalls: "You haven't finished yet." He tells you how to escape from the tormentors, having received the whole world as a gift. No matter how she disposes of it, this gift belongs to her forever.
How will you manage your life? Are you using the chance to get rid of painful experiences, false shame and imposed stereotypes? Here are just a few reviews on this topic from women who have undergone training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan:
The opportunity to free yourself from the consequences of sexual abuse exists. And you can start a new life without a heavy load with free online trainings on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register using the link.