Is my child autistic? What to do if your child is acting strange
Doctors want to diagnose autism. You resist this with all your soul, do not allow such thoughts. Although you understand that your child is not like the others, that he is special. This terrible word autism scares you, which can cross your whole life. What if this is a real diagnosis?
The last call … Such a letter, of course, is unlikely to ever see the light of day, but if it were written, it would look something like this:
Hello mother!
I know that I cannot tell you all this, I tried it many times, but nothing worked. You do not hear me. You don’t want to hear. You think I'm sick. I myself heard how you called me sunny boy, as if I had Down's disease, or even mental retardation. But you know that I hear everything that happens in the house. I can hear how you are proud of your brother, but you are disappointed in me and in your hearts reproach me that I am not like everyone else.
I'm trying so hard, Mom. When I recovered due to medications, do you remember when I got epilepsy, and then I lost 15 kilograms. I thought that now you want to hear me, and you keep running and running away. You hide from me behind a dog licking my face. I don't want that, I want you. I need you, you are the one who finally heard me.
And if not, listen, mom, why don't you just let me go to a place where there is no thunder of a slammed door, your screams and quarrels with your father, the clatter of dishes ?! I wanted to do it before, when I was a teenager, and now. Why did you find me so quickly in the basement? A little more, and I would bleed and that's it, everything!
No more trying to understand why you and I speak different languages! It's so easy, come to my room, I will teach you to play computer games. I will show you that I can be God there, on the computer screen, I can execute and have mercy, I can come up with unexpected solutions to game problems. Well, why don't you even try, Mom? You know that I can.
Do you remember how I wrote a note for you, and you asked how I knew all these words, because I can't do anything except games. Even doctors want to give me a disability. Words, they are here, mom, they are in the air, in my games, in the rustle of the wind. I want to show you where I get them from.
Well, come to me!
A cross for life?
Doctors want to diagnose autism. You resist this with all your soul, do not allow such thoughts. Although you understand that your child is not like the others, that he is special.
This terrible word autism scares you, which can cross your whole life. What if this is a real diagnosis? Doctors say that the boy was born like this, inferior, and the parents should devote their whole lives to him, creating the necessary conditions and studying with him according to special methods. Yes, and you understand that if you are destined to be the mother of such a special child, you will do everything that depends on you. Not to take it to a psychiatric hospital. Still, the blood is dear, and people will not understand. You are already ready to put an end to your life.
But this does not have to be a heavy cross if you notice in time the unusual behavior of the child and understand what is happening to him. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will help to understand this issue.
Who is diagnosed with autism?
System-vector psychology allows us to understand what is associated with the occurrence of autism spectrum disorders. Similar diagnoses are made to the owners of the sound vector in a certain state. A vector is an innate set of human mental properties. And it is he who sets our desires, abilities, behavior, and at the same time possible deviations in the event of a developmental disorder.
The carrier of the sound vector has a sharp, sensitive hearing, as well as a powerful abstract intellect. The range of the owners of the sound vector - from geniuses to mentally ill people, depending on the conditions of development.
The sound engineer is an absolute introvert, immersed in himself, his thoughts, “out of this world”. He has little interest in material things. All his desires are aimed at knowing his Self and searching for answers to questions about the meaning of life, which he cannot always verbalize. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that the sound vector is dominant, that is, the power of his desires is the greatest. That is, if the sound engineer does not satisfy his natural desire for knowledge, everything else (career, family, love, money) does not matter to him.
This is his natural reaction
A small sound person can stare at one point and sit there until he is called several times. Due to the fact that the sound child does not immediately respond when asked a question, he may be considered "inhibited." But this is not the case. He's just focused on his states, he thinks, and switching to external stimuli takes time. His by no means childish questions "Why do I live?", "What is there, outside the universe?", "What is my destiny?" baffle all adults. And for him they are quite natural, because the sound vector given to him a desire to cognize the meaning of life.
How else is a child with a sound vector different? The little sound engineer likes to read, usually science fiction. He can look at the starry sky for a long time. As a rule, he takes a great interest in computer early and masters it quickly. He can even completely immerse himself in the virtual world.
The role of silence in the life of a sound engineer
A sound child from the outside can seem strange, wonderful. He is quiet, does not run with other children, but tries to stay away from the hustle and bustle, to be alone. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that any harsh sounds, loud music, screams, loud noise cause irreparable harm to his most sensitive area - the ear. Exposure to noise is extremely painful to him. To protect himself, he unconsciously abstracts from the outside world, ceases to perceive it. As a result, its development is disrupted, the ability to learn is significantly reduced.
No less harm is done by the offensive words spoken by my mother: “What kind of fool is growing up with me ?!”, “All children are like children, and you are kind of retarded”. Such phrases humiliate the sound child, hit the most sensitive, nullifying his potential, a brilliant abstract mind. The child seems to collapse, gradually learns to fence off from everything that causes him discomfort, even more withdraws into himself so as not to hear this loud, offending outside world.
Not surprisingly, your son closes himself in his room, in his little world and plays games on the computer, where he can prove himself. He hears the world in his own way, capturing the slightest shades of the states of others, but he does not know how to communicate with them in a way that is understandable for them. The world really speaks a different language.
Contact
In Soviet times, there was such a wonderful cartoon "Contact". There it was about how an alien flew to earth and tried to establish contact with people. This is perhaps the most accurate illustration of how your son is feeling. You are very lucky. Your son wants contact with you. This happens in the borderline state, until the end of puberty, while the vector develops. This means that there is an opportunity to fix everything. The Soundman tries to start his way out with his mother. He still has timid attempts to communicate with the world around him, which means that not all is lost, and the terrible diagnosis of "autism" can be avoided.
Exit from the other side
What to do in a situation when a child is about to be diagnosed with autism? The main thing is to understand that your child is the owner of the sound vector, which means that he needs a special approach. First of all, no loud noises or screams! It is necessary to talk with such a child quietly, even in a whisper. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that quiet, calm classical music is the best background for a sound player.
It is necessary to remember about intonation when communicating with a child, because he catches them perfectly. Talk to him kindly, friendly. Remember that he will not immediately answer your questions, he needs time to get out of "his shell".
And, of course, a sound child, like a child with any vector, needs a sense of security and safety. This is the basic level of psychological comfort, at which the correct development of the psyche occurs. First of all, the child receives a sense of security and safety from the mother, which means that the mother herself should be calm and happy.
More specifically
Since the state of the child is very dependent on the parents, first of all, on the mother, this means that it is you who can bring your special sound person out of his inner world to the outer world, to people. To do this, you need to understand the features, needs and ways of filling them set by nature.
Yuri Burlan's training in Systemic Vector Psychology will give you the keys to how to establish contact with such a special child and help him adapt to the modern world, maximizing his abilities. Read the results of parents with children diagnosed with autism, and you will understand that this is not a sentence.
Changes can start as early as the first free online lectures, where you can start mastering systems thinking. You will be able to better understand yourself and your child. And this is the first, very important step towards getting out of the looking glass. Register here:
