What should not be done with emotional children? Tips for parents
Do you think the mother is behaving correctly, hiding from the child the truth about the death of his pet? Will this save the child from emotional distress? The fact is that there are moments and events that are better hidden from the child. A separate list can be used to highlight items that are not just undesirable, but strictly forbidden to do in front of children.
- Mommy, Mommy. What happened to our parrot Kesha? Why is he in the cage with his paws up?
- Sonny, Kesha is just tired and a little sick. We will take him to the vet, and the doctor will definitely cure him.
- Will he be given injections at the hospital? Keshe will probably be in great pain! the boy exclaims with horror in his eyes.
- Do not worry. The doctor is very kind and will not harm Kesha.
- Mom, won't Kesha die? - the kid asks with tears in his eyes.
- Of course not. He may have to lie in the hospital for a while, and he will definitely recover. And while he is being treated, you and I will visit other birds and animals in the petting zoo, so that you don't get bored.
- Okay, Mom. Let's take the parrot to the doctor as soon as possible!
How would you handle this situation? Do you think the mother is behaving correctly, hiding from the child the truth about the death of his pet? Will this save the child from emotional distress?
Yuri Burlan's training "System Vector Psychology" reveals the connections between what the baby sees and hears, and his mental and physical health. The fact is that there are moments and events that are better hidden from the child. A separate list can be highlighted items that are not just undesirable, but strictly forbidden to do in front of children.
But more on that later, but now let's return to the story of the death of a parrot.
Toy or animal
If you or your child have ever experienced the loss of a beloved pet, you will understand this boy's feelings. We are very attached to cute dogs and cats, parrots and fish. Children are much faster than adults to create a strong emotional bond with their pets and are very upset when they die.
This primarily applies to very emotional children, with a quick change of mood, demanding attention and wanting to love everyone around. In system-vector psychology, people living with emotions and feelings are defined as carriers of the visual vector. They get the greatest pleasure from creating emotional ties, the break of which often turns into a real tragedy for them.
In the process of its development, the human psyche with a visual vector requires the expression of emotions and feelings in relation to others. At first, a plush bunny often acts as a pet. Thanks to natural imaginative thinking, a child with a visual vector can easily animate a toy. He talks to him, sings songs to him, dresses and feeds him, imagines that the bunny also hurts. That is, for him a plush bunny is alive!
Not knowing this peculiarity and looking at plush toys only as collectors of dust and germs, adults, for their part, very often behave incorrectly. Not understanding the importance of the bear for the baby, parents can easily put the toy in a dark closet, on the balcony, or simply throw it into the trash can. A kid with a visual vector will perceive it tragically and receive a strong emotional shock.
Therefore, advice is number one! We never throw away or break the toys to which he is attached.
Sorry for the bird
As a rule, the visual kid is interested in flora and fauna. “Oh, what a flower! What a cute kitten! " The beauty of nature attracts his attention. He gladly takes care of flowers, rescues ladybirds, feeds birds in winter.
Such a child often asks for a pet - a living friend. The place of the toy can be taken by a small fluffy kitten, puppy or rabbit.
Most parents see this as a positive thing. The child learns to care for a living being, to be responsible for the life of another. However, knowledge from the training "System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan" allows a deeper look at this issue.
First, the desire to take care of a pet arises in a child when there is a lack of emotional connection with the mother. Often, parents live their own lives, paying insufficient attention to their growing up child. Reducing their parental responsibilities only to material support, mothers forget to sing a lullaby to the child for the night, draw, sculpt, read with the baby, and show him care and tenderness. The baby has a shortage. He unconsciously seeks someone who will love him and to whom he can give his care and love in return.
Secondly, pets, unfortunately, do not live long. The death of a beloved animal very strongly hits the still not strong psyche of this sensitive baby. The stress of loss takes over the body, and the impact falls on the child's sensitive visual analyzer, which results in a sharp deterioration in vision.
The link between deterioration, and sometimes even significant loss of vision and the emotional state of a person has long been confirmed by scientific research. Vector systems psychology explains this causal relationship. Decreased vision can be associated not only with the death of a pet, but also with any emotional loss. Moving to another place, parting with friends, divorce of parents, separation or loss of a loved one - all this causes severe mental pain and negatively affects the vision of the child.
Therefore, advice number two. If your child is faced with the death of a pet, you need to very carefully inform him about it, trying to fill the void that has arisen with your love. It is better for very young children to tell a fairy tale that his beloved hamster simply fell asleep or returned to his family.
If there is no pet in your family yet, but the visual kid begs you to take in a kitten, it is better to invite your child to visit a petting zoo. In this case, you will save the baby from mental trauma in the future in the event of the death of the animal.
It is important to remember that excessive attachment to toys and animals appears in visual children only when there is a lack of emotional connection with their mother. Filling this lack with caring for the animal, the child is filled at a lower level and does not develop in sensory connections between people, does not learn to build an emotional connection with them, and this is the most important skill in his future life.
And vice versa, there are often cases when, after the parents refuse to have a pet, the baby begins to make more contact with peers, although he did not want to play with other children before. This is a very positive moment, because a person receives development and realization only in society among other people, even if this person is still very small.
Mommy, I'm afraid
Children with a visual vector are very impressionable and are often afraid of darkness, heights, water, strangers, getting lost in a crowd, etc. At the root of all these phobias lies the fear of death. This phenomenon is described in detail at the training of Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology".
Most often, children first have a fear of the dark. At night, the eyes cannot see, which means that the main sensor of visual children does not work. A good imagination draws scary images that appear in the dark, which only intensifies the panic. With proper development, all these fears in the child go away and are replaced by other, positive emotions. But while he is not yet developed, he does not know how to bring emotions out, fear is aggravated. In such situations, there is no need to train your baby's fearlessness and make him sleep in the dark. This will only increase the fear.
In order not to fix the child in a state of phobia, which in the future can result in excessive anxiety and panic attacks, we give another piece of advice for parents.
Children with a visual vector must not be scared! You can't show horror films, take them to funerals, make you kiss a dead man in a coffin! You cannot slaughter cattle and butcher meat in front of a child! All this stops the child's mental development, he gets stuck in fears, from which it is very difficult to get out in the future.
In order to help a child grow up happy, it is necessary to help him learn to take the emotions of fear out. The most important thing is to teach your child to read good classical literature. Through sympathy for the heroes, he will begin to develop his sensuality and emotionality, which in the future will manifest itself in kindness, care and love for people, in the ability to create relationships, to see beauty around and enjoy life.
It is necessary to exclude all literature where someone eats someone - these plots provoke fears and nightmares. Even "Kolobok" and "Little Red Riding Hood" should not be on the bookshelf of such a child. Drawing, theater classes, and singing also develops a visual child well.
Mom, dad, don't quarrel
At the beginning of the article, we already mentioned that the child receives a feeling of safety and security primarily from the mother. Dad also has a huge impact on the psycho-emotional state of the baby, but through mom. If difficulties arise in a married couple that are not outwardly visible, but from which the mother suffers, the child will still react to this.
Tip number four. If there is a conflict in a couple and you understand that you need to talk seriously, do not do it in the presence of the child. A raised voice, a cry, offensive words that come off the tongue, which a child may witness, will cause him severe harm. Seeing the quarrel, the mother's worries, the child immediately loses the feeling of security and safety. This always leads to developmental delays and various problems; in this case, the visual child will be dominated by capricious and hysterical behavior, and fears will increase.
In his natural destiny, a person with a visual vector is the most gentle, kind and sympathetic. With proper development, a visual baby will surely grow up to be a happy, fulfilled, sensitive and loving person. We hope that our tips will help you adjust the upbringing of emotional children.
This is just a small part of what parents learn at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan. A complete understanding of the mental characteristics of your child, the realization that inwardly he may not be at all like mom and dad and in what way he is different, work wonders.
Systems thinking helps to understand not only your child, but also your relatives, friends, colleagues. Relationships with people are reaching a new level. Claims disappear, the reasons for quarrels disappear, and in their place comes indescribable harmony in relationships. Thousands of positive reviews confirm the tremendous results from the training.
You can sign up for free online lectures on Systemic Vector Psychology right now by following the link.
Proofreading: Natalia Konovalova