School Violence: How to Prevent? Mobbing, bullying, trolling and much more
There is a common misconception among parents that a child needs to be taught to fight back. In droves, parents send their children to the karate section, where they are taught to wave their arms and legs. But the paradox is that the ability to fight, as a rule, does not save from school violence. So, if there are several offenders or they are older, then any karateka can "dunk".
Parents' Internet forums are screaming about the unprecedented prevalence of violence in schools. The media are not lagging behind. YouTube is overflowing with videos of school violence, no one knows what to do. There you can see everything - from beating teachers to rape of minors.
Parents are outraged, on Internet forums they advise each other to send their children to karate, to learn to fight in order to "crush the reptiles one by one." In some places, however, timid objections to the topic "my child will not be able to hit" break through, to which there is a wave of comments like "if you sniff and do not defend yourself, no one will protect you!"
Who and what can protect our children from school violence? Where to contact?
School psychologists?
School psychologists do tests. Lots of tests. As if tests save you from something. Tests show that everyone can see perfectly well.
The question is, what to do about it, how to deal with the problem of violence at school? But psychologists themselves don't seem to know.
True, they came up with a classification. There is, for example, bullying, and there is mobbing.
Bullying is when one or more bulls offend the weak and those who cannot resist. It's like hazing in the army.
Mobbing is when the whole class "poison" one child, like in the movie "Scarecrow" by Rolan Bykov.
There is trolling, when children persecute and shame each other on social networks, it can get to the point that the victim, unable to bear the emotional pressure, lays hands on himself. And there have already been such consequences.
But the classification is clearly not enough, since there is still simply the cruel treatment of children to each other, when it is boring, when there is nothing to do, or simply on a dispute. As it happened in the Nizhny Novgorod region, when a 15-year-old girl simply strangled a 7-year-old girl with a pillow for a bet. Never.
School psychologists, unfortunately, cannot yet diagnose or warn this.
Knowledge of the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan can really help to overcome the problem of school violence, if you approach this issue in a comprehensive manner, understanding what is happening at the level of causes.
Parents?
There is a common misconception among parents that a child needs to be taught to fight back. In droves, parents send their children to the karate section, where they are taught to wave their arms and legs. But the paradox is that the ability to fight, as a rule, does not save from school violence. So, if there are several offenders or they are older, then any karateka can "dunk".
Yes, and children can offend not openly, but anonymously, for example, hide the things of one child and the whole class with pleasure to watch him rush about in search of missing notebooks or physical education in fear of getting scolded by the teacher. And not every child can grow a good karateka. Here's a quote from a parenting forum on school violence from a mom:
“I myself worked for five years as a karate trainer, my husband had a black belt in karate, and when I was pregnant, I thought that the child would already have it in the blood. Now the son is 12 years old and everyone offends him at school, his heart is bleeding. So many times she told him and showed him how to protect herself, but all in vain. He is afraid that if he hits, they will gather in a crowd and beat him."
From the point of view of system-vector psychology, everything is clear! After all, if a boy has a skin-visual ligament of vectors (which his mother, unfortunately, does not know about), then he will never take the “warrior's path”, his purpose is completely different - this is the development of culture. It is useless to teach such a boy to fight, he will still be afraid to stand up for himself. It is vital to develop feelings in him, for this you need to lead him not to the wrestling section, but to a music school and a theater studio. There, revealing his talents, he will gradually bring his fear out and stop being afraid. This means he will no longer be a victim of school violence.
Almost any child can become a scapegoat in the class, for example, a new one. Boys and girls with a visual vector can also become the subject of ridicule and violence at school, which is especially traumatic for their sensitive psyche. The sound child can also become the subject of ridicule. He is smart, quiet, thoughtful, does not like noise and rude jokes and often avoids communication at recess.
Teachers?
The psychological atmosphere in the classroom and the attitude towards a particular student largely depend on the teacher. But the main criterion for assessing the school now is academic performance. Parents need good grades, children need good grades, teachers need good grades to report.
Therefore, teachers are busy preparing children for the next tests. If a student is a good student, there are no complaints about him.
The teacher is pulled up, littered with pieces of paper, tortured by everyday and personal problems. He does not pay attention to the issue of education, he is not up to it. And sometimes he himself is not averse to "come off" on children. True, the children pay him the same. It turns out to be a vicious circle of school violence.
In fact, a child has only three roles in school: the aggressor, the victim, or a passive observer of violence. True, a passive observer is not so passive, he is also in constant tension, because he sees all these manifestations of physical violence and is also afraid, because he does not want to become a victim. By offering a child to learn how to fight, we essentially do not change anything in the general scenario, the circle of violence remains the same, the relationship at school remains at the level of gang violence.
Any child, first of all, should not be taught the techniques of hand-to-hand combat, but the ability to understand people, find a common language with them, know oneself, one's characteristics and strengths. But most importantly, it is necessary to understand that the child's psyche develops only if he receives a sense of security and safety from his parents, and also thanks to the development of his unique inborn vector mental properties. If you try to make a "real man" out of a skin-visual boy, he simply will not develop and, naturally, will not fit into life. And if he plays the guitar better than anyone else or becomes the star of the school theater, then instead of hatred, the guys will feel sympathy and admiration for him.
The feeling of security and safety and development according to the natural properties of the child is the best prevention of any psychological problems. This is what gives the child a comfortable internal state in which, on the one hand, he is not able to experience the burning dislike that leads to violence at school, and on the other hand, is not a weak link that provokes aggression.
Only together, only with the whole world
Without the influence of adults, children can interact only according to the principle of an archetypal pack, united on the basis of dislike for someone else, be it a teacher, another child, or someone else. Prevention and prevention of violence in schools cannot be done through a system of prohibitive measures, strengthening security and increasing the number of video cameras. These are all external "gadgets" that, if desired, can be easily bypassed.
Violence in schools can only be defeated through the joint efforts of all stakeholders: teachers, parents and children themselves.
Not only trying to protect your child from violence, but removing the problem of violence at school altogether - this is the task we all need to set. Otherwise, it just won't work! There will be another injured sound engineer who will come to school with a weapon in order to shoot his classmates.
What can be done? How to help?
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan makes it possible to recognize the psyche of each child, his desires, psychological needs, aspirations and fears. The modern parent, teacher and psychologist cannot do without this knowledge. Who is violent and why? Why does the child steal? Why does it fall victim and how to prevent it? How to neutralize a school jester? How do you recognize a potential killer or suicide? (Unfortunately, even such topics are relevant in the modern school!) Answers to these and many other questions are given by the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. Of course, savvy adults will be able to pass this knowledge on to their children in an accessible form, so that they also better understand themselves and others, know what to expect from a particular child or adult, and how to interact with them correctly.
Another important joint task for the prevention of violence in schools is the creation of the school team. Remember the motto of the school of young devils from the old Soviet cartoon? "Love yourself, spit on everyone, and success awaits you in life!" After listening to Western propaganda, we began to teach this to our children, not realizing that it is fundamentally wrong and contrary to our urethral-muscular mentality. The motto of the Musketeers is more suitable for us: "One for all and all for one!"
The experience of building a school collective can be learned from the pioneer of Soviet pedagogy A. S. Makarenko, who in a short time managed to raise full-fledged members of society, responsible, intellectually and mentally developed from the embittered and mentally traumatized street children.
The creation of the team was based on the idea of self-government, that is, collective responsibility, but always under the ideological leadership and guidance of adults. The elder helps and guides the younger, and the teacher or educator stimulates and guides this process. Knowledge of Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology helps to form a team correctly. For example, by highlighting a child with a urethral vector and gently guiding, make him responsible for the well-being of all, while preventing the appearance of two urethral children in the same class at the same time.
It is important to teach children to help and mutual responsibility, to teach them to share and help each other. With the help of parents, to develop not programs of entertainment activities for children, as it is now fashionable, but programs of sponsored assistance for those who need it, for example, for children with disabilities. Or for children with one parent, who is not always able to pick up the child from school even on time.
There is nothing wrong with entertainment in and of itself. But a concert or competition, prepared by the children themselves for teachers or junior schoolchildren, unites them, develops their talents, teaches them to interact, and a ready-made entertainment event with animators and a disco becomes just an exhibition of vanity.
Violence prevention in schools starts when we start thinking not about grades, but about children's relationships. A favorable psychological and moral climate, mutual support, and a positive attitude help to choose the right landmarks in life, and also best contribute to a good study.
If you are a teacher or a parent, do not miss the chance, come to Yuri Burlan's free online lectures on system-vector psychology, and you will receive knowledge that will become a real tool for preventing violence at school, in the family, at work. Register here.
