A child is beaten at school: how to avoid bullying classmates
The first unconscious urge was to put these young bastards in jail. Having cooled down, I realized that after all these boys and girls are also someone's sons and daughters. Apparently, you need to call their parents, or still solve the issue through the teacher and the school director? Where to complain, where to go and what to do when your child is beaten?
The realization that my child is an outcast among his classmates fell on my head with a concrete slab. The son always avoided talking about relationships in the classroom, explaining the bruises and bruises with the usual fights among boys. But one day, seeing a fresh bruise on my head, I threatened to tell the teacher or the director about these fights. After all, such actions can lead to unpredictable consequences!
The child’s answer simply struck down: “Mom, they beat me every day at school, I don’t want to live. I even contemplated suicide … Don't tell anyone anything, Mom, please, otherwise they'll just kill me. It turned out that my child is systematically beaten at school, and they are not just beaten - they are beaten.
The first unconscious urge was to put these young bastards in jail. Having cooled down, I realized that after all these boys and girls are also someone's sons and daughters. Apparently, you need to call their parents, or still solve the issue through the teacher and the school director? Where to complain, where to go and what to do when your child is beaten?
Between Scylla and Charybdis
The question was by no means simple. Parents, of course, can contact and complain about bullying their son or daughter to different authorities. When your child is beaten, you will reach not only the school administration, but also the Ministry of Education. But I understood that such actions could provoke classmates to double violence, and this would really push my child to suicide. What to do?
Of course, a battered child prefers to be silent. But where were my eyes? After all, not every child becomes the target of bullying. Perhaps, as a mother, it was me who was to blame for what happened? The son has a whole life ahead, but he is not able to adapt in a team. Maybe it's not too late to change something?
Educational program for retarded parents
After a desperate throwing around parental forums, a lucky chance brought me to the site on Systemic Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan. Articles and recommendations of systemic psychologists opened my eyes to my own monstrous illiteracy. It turned out that our children inherit from us only external signs. And the child's psyche may be absolutely different from the parent's.
In order not to make educational mistakes, you need to know exactly what properties nature has endowed your child with. Indeed, not everyone can become a potential victim of classmates, but only the owner of certain properties of the psyche. But this scenario is not at all mandatory: it all depends on how psychologically competent we are in raising our children.
Natural “victims”: how to survive in the modern world?
Most often, a child beaten by classmates is a carrier of the visual-cutaneous ligament of vectors. By nature, he is given a special emotionality, in childhood he regrets bugs, sympathizes with a homeless kitten. In primitive times, boys with such properties did not survive, but became victims of cannibalism. Naturally incapable of killing, he could not hunt like the rest of the flock, which means he was an extra mouth and a burden.
Today we have a centuries-old cultural layer that limits our dislike. Therefore, skin-visual boys survive along with the rest. However, for the most part, their parents bring them up incorrectly. As a result, such a child is constantly beaten and humiliated by peers. What to do to prevent the child from becoming a victim?
- The main mistake of parents is an attempt to raise a “brutal man” from a tender and fragile boy. In order for him to be able to stand up for himself, he is sent to various kinds of martial arts, etc. However, he will never be equal to those who are naturally capable of “killing prey”. It is in such an environment that he even more feels like “not a man”, unlike more aggressive boys. But this does not mean that he is a "girl".
- The sensuality of such a boy is both the cause of his problems and the main "trump card". It all depends on the upbringing. The fear of death (being eaten) lies at the ancient root of his psyche. Remaining in a state of fear, he becomes a victim. But if parents in childhood read to such a child fairy tales for empathy, and later teach to help the sick and the weak, his fear is transformed into its opposite - love for people.
- By nature, skin-visual children have a talent for singing, they are artistic. An excellent implementation option would be to send such a boy to a music school. The playing and singing skin-visual boy with a guitar is no longer an outcast, but on the contrary, the soul of the company. Around him, the guys no longer unite on the basis of hostility and aggression, but on the basis of sensual unity.
- A theater club or dance school is also a good option. Usually there are many more girls in such circles. It is in such an environment that a skin-visual boy is more likely to learn to feel like a man, unlike girls. You just need to teach him: give a hand to the girl, help put on a coat, etc.
If your family does not have a son, but a daughter with such properties, the situation during school years may turn out differently. Such a girl is by nature the most attractive to boys, prefers their society instead of being friends with the representatives of the same sex.
However, this arouses envy and aggression towards her from other girls, who in the modern world also often constantly beat each other. In addition, when entering adolescence, a skin-visual girl runs the risk of being raped if she unconsciously carries fear.
Educational measures to prevent such situations are the same as described above. This is the development of sensuality, the ability to empathize and compassion, to help the sick and the weak. These measures will ensure your child is able to bring their emotional range outward, forever removing fear and, therefore, the risk of becoming a victim.
Beaten child "out of this world"
Skin-visual boys become victims of their peers precisely because they are not like everyone else, as if "not men." And other boys perceive them as strangers among their own. According to the same principle, girls unconsciously can push their skin-visual classmate, because she is “not like them”, “her own” in the society of boys.
But not in every class there is a child with a skin-visual ligament of vectors. Then classmates can unconsciously choose another victim for themselves. As always, it becomes the one who differs from the rest. Often this is the owner of the sound vector, it does not matter if it is a boy or a girl.
Such children are focused on their thoughts, speak little. Their especially sensitive zone is the ear, it is difficult for them to perceive the noise and din of the rest of the children, they can withdraw into themselves and prefer solitude. Why is such a child beaten at school, how does a victim scenario form?
- When a son or daughter grows up in a family with a sound vector, parents often make a big mistake themselves. Seeing that it is very difficult for a child in kindergarten or school, they seek to transfer him to home schooling, thereby further reinforcing the inability of the sound engineer to social adaptation.
- Such children have extraordinary abstract intelligence and are often ahead of their peers in intellectual development. From an early age they read encyclopedias instead of fairy tales, are interested in “where it all came from”. This strengthens the parents in their idea that their child is special and that he has nothing to do among the rabid crowd.
The wrong decision to fence off your little genius from the rest is costly for parents. For example, without having received at least a minimal social adaptation in kindergarten, during school years it is such a child who risks being beaten or simply becoming the object of ridicule and bullying.
Individual training leads to the fact that even with the highest intelligence, the sound engineer is not able to convey his outstanding ideas to other people. I am not able to realize them, because in this matter it is simply impossible to do without contact with others. The lack of realization of their properties pushes the sound engineer to suicide, he may experience deep depression. And such a person is really capable of bringing suicide to a tragic end.
What to do to avoid bullying such a child by peers?
- A sound engineer must be sent to kindergarten at the same time as other children - at the age of about three years. Having mastered the reading skill early, such a child can unite the whole group around him while reading fairy tales together. Then, instead of an outcast, he will be the center of attention. The main thing is to enlist the support of a teacher.
- Instead of trying to involve such a child in active and noisy games, give him the opportunity to prepare some interesting report or scientific experience for the whole class. The help of adults will allow attracting other children to the implementation of such a project. This will help the sound engineer learn to interact with others in the process of realizing his ideas.
Bullying based on other differences
Sometimes we ourselves set the stage for our child to be beaten or ridiculed. For example, the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that a child should choose a name from those that are often found among his peers, so that it is not too pretentious.
Do not ask yourself what to do if your sweet daughter, Cleopatra, is beaten at school among Russian-speaking children, and why she is constantly bullied. Children always find someone who differs from them in one way or another and ostracize him.
And yet, no matter what vectors and differences your child may have from other children, if he is socialized, developed in his innate properties and knows how to create contact with others, then situations when the child is beaten and bullied will not arise.
Today, very few teachers and parents have sufficient psychological literacy to help children build productive relationships in a team. And without competent help from adults, children are able to build only an archetypal flock, where "an eye for an eye" and "the strongest survives."
A battered child is a murdered society
Having received psychological trauma as a result of beating and humiliation in childhood, our children are not able to build a normal society, create happy families. As adults, we should start with ourselves. How to stop being nervous, how to stop being irritated and angry at the world, which is so cruel to your beloved child?
If it is your child who has been beaten, consider that you have already received a one-way ticket. At the end of this journey there will be either your psychological literacy or the ruined fate of your own child. The choice is yours.
Our story with my son ended happily thanks to the training in system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Instead of judo, he finally went to study singing and is now just the soul of the company in the first year of his institute. Our result is far from unique, many of the trainees of the training left their feedback on how the training helped them find the key to raising their child:
Do you want the “ticket” to be lucky in your case? Ensure a normal future for your child by starting with free online trainings on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register using the link.
