Loneliness together, or hateful imprisonment in marriage
- Why do you feel bad? Maybe your husband beats you? I left a pregnant woman, there is nothing to eat ?! How tired of these questions of yours I am. What?! What else can I do ?! You yourself create problems in your head, stop thinking. Go shopping with Sveta, expand. Leshka and I will sit with the children. Do you want me to send you to the sea for a week? But I don’t have to start again here “let's talk”, “I don’t want to live like this,” “I feel bad, do something” …
An armful of roses stood in the vase since morning, and the sun gently illuminated the kitchen. Flowers again. Cut them again, change the water, throw them out after three days … For what?
Vera hugged her husband:
- Thank you, honey, is there a reason today?
- Get well soon, love …
The word “beloved” made her jerk: “Words without content, why are they? Too hackneyed, stupid word. Like a kitten, a bunny, darling … It would be better to say "fool!", But he loved to madness than this empty candy wrapper."
Vera got used to flowers for a long time. All five years of marriage, it seemed to her that her husband was spending too much on pompous bouquets.
“I love tulips. Simple tulips! How can he not remember?"
But she didn't really want tulips either.
Depths … This word was ingrained in her brain and haunted her. It was the depths that she looked for in all her men, dug, dug and … did not find. Even in her husband. Having reached the very core of the planet named her husband, she realized that there was nowhere to dig further. There is no depth. Simply no…
Incomprehensible.
Dreams of space together with each passing day more and more muffled to the bottom. "I'm not with that … Is there that one?"
Vera has long walked up: before marriage, and then with her lovers. She quickly understood that no man could give what she needed. This is not money, not sex, not care and nice words. But what?
“Probably, in my next life I will be lucky to find it,” Vera decided.
And she endured this life in a disgusting marriage. With a husband not of his level. Even though he had two towers and a good position.
Empty care
What is a sound woman looking for in a man?
Breakfast in bed? - Nice.
Money to the house? - Well done, I chose a worthy one, it should be so.
Caring for, helping with children? - Yes, I'm sick of this concern!
Talk? - About nothing…
Friday evening. Friends with families are invited to dinner. The table has been carefully set.
The husband conjures over meat in the oven, simultaneously reading the moral to the children that nothing can be taken from the table.
A sports channel is connected - today there is a hockey match, men cannot live without it.
Have you thought for a long time: to take beer or stronger? Decided to girls - wine, children - juice, and boys - whiskey. And everything would be fine, idyll. If not for Vera's jumps.
After sitting for half an hour with everyone, she, under the pretext of urgent work, went into her bedroom and locked herself there.
Finally one. It's finally quiet. Since childhood, the commentator's voice has drilled her ears, this torture was difficult to endure even now.
I put on headphones and went online. Then she pretended to be asleep so as not to see off the guests.
….
She was really lucky with her husband. You don't have to worry about the children: dad will wash and put them to bed. Friends are also accustomed to the fact that she is peculiar, maybe they are offended by such "hospitality", but they do not speak out loud.
“They are right, I have a golden husband. Sveta is always jealous that he washes the dishes and takes care. Her Lesha would never help with the housework: this is not a man's business. He is one of those for whom the wife should be barefoot, pregnant and in the kitchen."
In the morning Vera will make breakfast and go out with the children. The walls of the house will be filled with silence and indifference.
And in the evening she will try again to talk to her husband.
- Zhen, how do you see me?
- What do you mean, as I see you? No way. I'm looking for a movie for us to watch.
- Zhen, I feel bad. I really feel bad.
- Why do you feel bad? Maybe your husband beats you? I left a pregnant woman, there is nothing to eat ?! How tired of these questions of yours I am. What?! What else can I do ?! You yourself create problems in your head, stop thinking. Go shopping with Sveta, expand. Leshka and I will sit with the children. Do you want me to send you to the sea for a week? But I don’t need to start again here “let's talk”, “I don’t want to live like this”, “I feel bad, do something” …
Soundbox. Not like everyone else …
A sound woman paired with a man without a sound vector is doomed to be misunderstood. Attempts to talk deeply lead to a dead end. It seems to her that he is primitive, just like everyone else, does not think. She feels that she is hitting a wall, but to no avail. Empty care seems to be a decoration, as if it is imprisoned in a perfectly boring marriage. It is as if she was disconnected from the true life, she is in a coma, she sleeps, living someone else's life, and her own will begin later. Not with him.
Often the sound woman herself does not understand what she needs. But something else. Not a formal pastime …
The sound person wants to think together. Or at least share your thoughts in order to understand.
A man without a sound vector is not able to understand his woman, no matter how much he loves her. He does everything he can: tries to make people laugh, surprise with delicious dishes, take care of them day and night. Admires her.
And it is empty for her.
The sexiest organ of a man is the brain. Only a woman with sound perceives a man this way.
If, in her opinion, there is no brain, then this belittling is unconscious for her: it is humiliating to be with a blunt. Feeling worthless around him. The feeling that life is empty, when people around are engaged in mouse fuss: some kind of gatherings, hockey, fishing.
"What do I mean with them?" she thinks.
They are rescued by friends with similar properties. And the husband and his friends …
Disappointment permeates her entire marriage. Pink-happy outside, but infinitely empty inside. And even the care of her husband becomes unbearable.
Escape from pain
When the sound engineer has not reached his potential, when the answers to eternal questions are not found, he is in a deep depression, from which no one will help to get out.
Any contact with people for him is potentially pain. Why take such a risk, expose yourself to discomfort, suffering, when you can simply distance yourself from everyone? Moreover, he does not fully realize this.
So, avoiding painful communication, Vera went to her shelter - her bedroom. Where I could be alone with my thoughts. Where no one bothered to live in their own world.
Very often, having lived for many years in marriage, a sound woman, wanting to get a divorce, cannot argue the reason for her departure. She talks about misunderstanding, about the impossibility of finding a common language, even finds reasons in financial disorder and everyday things.
But behind these far-fetched arguments hides a de-energized soul, an emptiness that seeks fulfillment and does not find it even under the wing of her husband.
Loneliness together
In general, everything is more complicated for women. A sound man can be with anyone, as long as he wants her, and it is difficult for a sound woman to be with a man without “sound”. Feels that he is too small for her in volume. Psyche, intelligence …
Zvukovichka almost always thinks that her husband does not love her or that she never loved. Because in her head, love is something more.
It is she who wants to close her eyes and not see anyone. Hide from a life in which she sees no meaning. She considers her partner to be guilty of her bad conditions: after all, it is the man who should give the woman a state of happiness. But he doesn't. Even if he wants to, he cannot.
In a relationship, the sound woman knows herself. She wants to get to the very essence of love, in the sensation of the feminine, in an unconscious search for an answer to the question: "Who am I?"
And when a partner does not help her to know herself deeper, when he is primitive in her eyes and has other goals, for her this is the collapse of everything. Its Universe is scattered into thousands of fragments that cannot be collected.
A relationship in "sound" is an opportunity for growth. And what kind of human growth can we talk about when "everything around is like animals: they ate, slept, talked about nothing."
This emptiness in marriage is like a prison. Where you scream inside in pain, but no one, no one hears you, not even He.
The psyche of a sound person is formed as a lonely one: it strives for loneliness and suffers from it. Zvukovichka, like no one, needs this someone who will share the silence and loneliness with her. The one with whom she will unite into one in search of something more.
How can a man understand the essence of a sound woman without systemic knowledge?
How can a woman understand her man? Is it a closed sound engineer, is it an ideal husband with a famous vector.
We, sound people, are looking for the essence in everything, unconsciously demanding from a man, longing for him to bring us meaning, to fill us.
You can wait for this endlessly and never wait. And you can change everything. Now.
