One breath for two. Unity instead of the struggle of opposites
Who is he - a person who is so difficult to love and almost impossible to understand? Freak? Madman? Genius? What's going on in his soul? How does he perceive the world and how does the world see it?
“I wake up in a cold sweat. I wake up in a nightmare delirium …"
There are such words in the song. The song is pretty visual actually. But often it is with the help of visual series and images, with vivid differences, that it is possible to convey to those around that what is hidden in the head of a person with a sound vector - this temple of abstract thought, where incredible ideas or unbearable suffering are born.
Who is he - a person who is so difficult to love and almost impossible to understand? Freak? Madman? Genius? What's going on in his soul? How does he perceive the world and how does the world see it?
How to build a relationship with someone who lives an ordinary life here and now, with someone who is hovering somewhere unknown?
Let's go back to the song.
The impressionable owner of the visual vector wakes up from a nightmare in a cold sweat. And his main nightmare is death. A flood, war, the end of the world, the fear of falling victim to an enemy, a hungry tribe or a monster with a shaggy hand living under the bed.
And the sound engineer LIVES in a cold, viscous liquid of hopeless delirium. His whole life is like one endless dream, painful and meaningless. Only I can't wake up. The soundman is not afraid of death. Sometimes he thinks of her as salvation, an opportunity to escape from the trap of painful everyday life.
Life is like a computer game
All his thoughts are focused on himself. So much so that the world around becomes illusory, like a computer game. And the sound engineer himself is a man in front of this "computer". The one who presses the buttons moves the mouse. It seems to him that he is the smartest, almost a god. That he can, if not influence the course of the game, then at least figure out how it works, "figure out" the secret.
In fact, he is not even able to turn down the volume of these mindlessly jumping people. He is annoyed by the useless fuss around, talking about nothing, going nowhere. Oh, if you could really hit stop, crack the keyboard, or smash that damn computer into pieces. But life-game continues according to its own laws, and it is impossible to comprehend them.
Ironically, the sound engineer himself becomes like a ghost. To his surroundings, he looks like a strange alien creature that does not fit into ordinary earthly life. This eccentric may not leave his room for weeks, forget to eat, not sleep at night, and live the day in a somnambulistic state, every now and then nodding at a school desk or at the workplace.
You turn to him - he does not hear, you raise your voice - he shies away. You call to go for a walk, to the movies, to dances - you brush it off or give such a look that you begin to doubt not only the decency of your proposal, but also yourself.
Imagine a son or daughter who cannot be understood, who cannot be reached. You want to help, but you don't even know what your child needs from life, what he wants, what he dreams of. No understanding - no constructive communication. Irritation grows, a feeling of helplessness arises.
With patience, parents lose their influence over such a child. Some amuse themselves with the hope that this age-related, will pass, "will resolve". In the end, the time will come and the offspring will move out of the house, step into adulthood.
Audio pair
And what about those who connected their fate with such a person, once said "yes", promised in sorrow and in joy to love, understand, be near?
Most often these are partners with a visual vector - emotional, bright, lively, in need of response, communication, feelings.
They perceive the cold inaccessibility of the sound engineer at their own expense. " Do not you love me anymore? Have you got someone else? " - they often directly express their husband or wife, which causes another wave of bewilderment, irritation, confrontation. Or silently suffer without response and warmth. Mental experiences that are not demanded by a partner either gradually fade away, shrink, or rush out with flashes of hysteria, emotional blackmail.
How did it happen that such different people created a couple, a family, decided to walk side by side along the long road of life? Contradiction? Mistake? Not! Everything is natural. At the stage of courtship, we all try to show our best side, to like each other.
The visual partner sparkles with joy, warms the icy soul of the sound engineer with his presence. And he gives up his defense for a short time, crawls out of his shell, takes a step towards, charming the impressionable spectator with stories about stars, distant worlds, possible civilizations. With him it is interesting, exciting, and even frightening darkness of space or an empty room seems to recede next to someone who feels comfortable in this darkness.
And then everyday life begins. A visual wife still longs for romantic conversations and walks under the moon, counts on help in solving household issues, on support in raising children. And the sonic husband has already plunged into his usual state outside of time and space, where he is alone in the entire Universe, like the brave Don Quixote, breaks through the confused meanings, trying to find the main one - the meaning of life itself.
Or, on the contrary, a husband with a visual vector, sociable, active, returns from work, filling his wife with the impressions of the past day, and meets a glassy gaze, cooled porridge and children left to themselves.
What is the consequence? Conflicts. Misunderstanding always leads to distance and confrontation. Irritation and resentment accumulate. The fortunes of both partners are rapidly deteriorating. The soundman goes deeper into himself, gets bogged down in the quagmire of the approaching depression. The spectator is frightened by the gap between him and his partner. He is increasingly hysterical and scandalous, reproaches callousness, raises his voice in an attempt to attract attention. Or, desperate to change something, he quietly mourns his failed happiness.
If nothing is done, the relationship is destroyed completely, and people either disperse or drag out the heavy burden of an unhappy marriage until the end of their days.
However, there is hope. The difficulties described above do not mean that the union of the owners of the visual and sound vectors is impossible or untenable.
Union of opposites
A happy relationship in a couple is created under certain conditions:
- Natural attraction. This is an unconscious process based on smells. Something that irresistibly attracts a man and a woman to each other from the very first meeting. But this is not enough. Smells disappear, passions subside, and there is still a whole life ahead.
- The next step is to create an emotional connection, the very framework of the relationship. This is already a deliberate action for convergence. Talk about everything, letting your partner into the most intimate, into your soul. Rejecting shyness and false attitudes, show your true feelings, experience emotions, share thoughts and experiences, listen and hear each other. Usually, the initiator of such a union of souls is a woman as a more subtle feeling creature. But in a couple, where the wife is a sound person, and the husband with a visual vector, it is quite natural and more effective if a man takes on this role.
- Understanding yourself and your partner. In order to build relationships not blindly, making mistakes and destroying what has already been created, it is important to know how the psyche works. What do I need to be happy, and what does my partner need? What are the basic life values of each of us, how do we react in a given situation, what do we dream about, what do we expect from each other?
However, in order to lay a solid foundation and build a strong temple of love that will not crumble under the whirlwind of domestic problems, it is necessary to observe the third, most important condition.
Such information can be obtained only at the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan. This knowledge is applicable not only in personal relationships, but also in all other areas of life: professional and social activities, creativity, raising children.
If this is your case and you recognized yourself in one of the heroes, then you probably already faced the described difficulties and you know that even great love does not help solve the problem, if it is not clear what the problem is.
For example, the visual partner usually feels if something is wrong: a loved one is feeling bad, he needs help. Trying to pull a loved one out of a black hole, he acts intuitively, through himself - he calls him for a walk, to visit, to travel. But what helps one person is a continuous pain for another, from which one wants to isolate oneself.
The soundman is not a callous and cold monster, he is a prisoner of his own thoughts. He would be glad to take a step forward, to share a part of his soul with his beloved, but he does not even know how to describe what is going on inside him. A person can express in words only what is conscious, and the desires and aspirations of the owner of the sound vector are from the unconscious.
Revealing the laws of the psyche, a person finds not only the way to himself, but also to the heart of his beloved. Joint life from parallel sliding turns into a movement towards. Until complete fusion, dissolution in each other. Remember in the song:
“… Listening to our breath, I listen to our breath, I never thought before that we have
only one breath with you.
Breath…"
Give yourself a chance, sign up for the free online training "System Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
