How to get rid of jealousy
What makes us jealous? This phenomenon can be viewed from three different sides of the perception of the world. Let's take a closer look.
Jealousy is a painful feeling … The worm of doubt sometimes reaches such proportions that it seems that the jealous person suffocates himself and blocks the air for his beloved. A jealous person drives himself and his loved one to a frenzy. Relationships cannot last long in such incredible tension. Even the most resilient and stable ones threaten to fall into ruin.
Creating harmonious relationships is a titanic work. In an attempt to preserve this value, a person begins to look for ways to get rid of jealousy.
The first step is to google queries. And now dozens of pages are being sorted out with answers to the question: how to cope with jealousy. But with all the diversity that the Internet offers, there really is little practical advice to help solve the problem of how to get rid of jealousy. The psychology of this condition has remained undisclosed until recently.
You look at these advisers and think: people, what are you talking about? What kind of "develop, do not complex, pull yourself together" ?! It's like trying to stop Hurricane Katrina. It is useless to control the elements!
Jealousy is a natural disaster within the mental. Not knowing the nature of this feeling, people mistakenly attribute to themselves the disease. So they say at a psychologist's appointment: “Doctor, I am a pathological jealous person. I don’t know how to overcome jealousy.” Often, at the request of the "patient" - how to deal with jealousy - the advice of a psychologist does not help one iota.
What to do with jealousy and how to stop torturing a partner can be suggested by the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan, which reveals to us the unconscious desires of people. There are the roots and reasons for this oppressive feeling. The very forces that control us unconsciously become understandable: they force us to arrange interrogation with addiction, control every step of the partner and perceive the other person as property: “Mine! Will not give it back!" …
What makes us jealous? This phenomenon can be viewed from three different sides of the perception of the world. Let's take a closer look.
Jealousy as a sense of possessiveness
Real jealousy as it is is characteristic of the carrier of the skin vector. Such people are distinguished by the desire to own property. The first word of the skin child is "Give". Such people perceive everything as prey.
Their highest value is social and property dominance, the accumulation of material wealth, and ranking. A person with a skin vector, even being developed and realized, but in over-stress, begins to perceive his other half as property. A woman with such a man can feel like a bird in a golden cage. He has a need to control her: “Where are you staying? For whom did you dress up? Have you got someone? …
Lacking an eight-dimensional perception of reality, a person tends to look through himself. First of all, those who are capable of cheating or fantasizing on this topic are jealous. Paradoxically, having a balanced libido and being absolutely monogamous, a person with a skin vector, flexible mind and body can change partners like gloves.
Such desires arise if a person fails to apply his talent in society, and instead of changing the surrounding reality, he cheats in bed. People with a natural talent for self-restraint, law-making and engineering, people with a skin vector transform the social sphere, giving it shape. The framework, the limitations, is what they enjoy. When they fail to realize their potential in society, control over loved ones is used, suspicions of treason arise. Thus, a person gets his scanty pleasure in realization. Therefore, he assesses his partner in the same way: since I can, what prevents him from doing it?
Jealousy of the past
Another manifestation of jealousy in the anal vector is jealousy of the past. Whether it's a childhood friend or classmate. The "first" in their understanding is always the best, and therefore it seems that they will have to compete with an unattainable ideal.
The look of a person with an anal vector is always turned to the past. In his system of values, the past is always better than the present. Even their favorite school subject is history. These are the owners of a phenomenal memory.
A person with such properties in the psychic often becomes a hostage of the first experience, and if he was unsuccessful, then this is reflected in his whole life.
In a woman, jealousy can manifest itself as a feeling of deprivation and dislike. She is more inclined to be jealous of her husband for a classmate than for a beautiful neighbor in the stairwell. A man with an anal vector is jealous for fear of being dishonored. “What people say” is very important to him. It is important for him that the reputation of his wife is impeccable. For him, this is not an empty phrase! Past-oriented, he also tends to be jealous of his ex. Sometimes such jealousy can end tragically for the "suspects."
Jealousy as a demand for attention
The fear of losing the object of love in the visual vector, the desire to be in the spotlight, can be disguised as jealousy. The visual vector is vivid emotions, feelings, experiences.
Combining with other vectors, the visual vector makes jealousy even larger - it “adds fuel to the fire” due to the emotional intensity, and the burning feeling becomes uncontrollable. A person begins to torment his partner with jealousy and make his life unbearable. Again and again, more and more sophisticated pictures of betrayal of the faithful arise in the imagination of an impressionable person. The best way out of such states is to understand yourself and your partner.
Jealousy is usually explained by a lack of trust. But a systematic view of the problem suggests that jealousy is one indicator of how happy we are with our lives. And trust in a relationship is not a cause, but a consequence of a happily lived life, when energy is in full swing, when we feel the joy of what is happening around. When we acquire systemic thinking, we learn to understand ourselves and others, suspicion, mistrust and many other negative states disappear, the ability to build truly strong, trusting relationships appears.
If you want to get rid of oppressive feelings and improve the quality of your life, sign up for the free online lectures "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
