How to get love back in a relationship? We apply systems psychology
"Do you love me?" - three simple words that are most often pronounced on the basis of something more than a monosyllabic answer. This question can hide frustration, doubt, relationship frustration, and looming problems.
"Do you love me?" - the girl asks her lover again. Three simple words that are most often pronounced with the expectation of something more than a monosyllabic answer. This question can hide frustration, doubt, relationship frustration, and looming problems.
"Well, of course!" - he answers. And in his voice there are notes of doubt, irritation, fatigue. Said to brush it off. Or maybe this phrase is the beginning of the end? The last lie for good? How to return a guy's love and is it possible to return a husband's love - while your common "fire" has not finally died out?
If there is an imbalance in the relationship, if you feel like love is leaving your couple, you should not act on a whim, otherwise you will not avoid mistakes. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan allows you to understand how to maintain a relationship with your beloved, protect yourself from disappointments and increase your love.
WHY DOES LOVE INEVITABLY EXTINGUISH?
Love is fleeting - this rule is tested daily in practice by thousands and millions of couples, in whose relationship transformations take place over time. Such transformations are distinguished by the denouement: someone, due to the fading of feelings, is forced to leave, and someone finds the strength to overcome difficulties and finds a way to return the former brightness and passion to a relationship with a husband or boyfriend.
How to return love to a relationship in which it has almost died out?
We used to think that only love can justify the existence of a couple. But in order for the union to live longer, it is worth changing your view of this feeling.
Representatives of the visual vector need love like air; they need it to create relationships. Although sometimes love can be called the satisfaction of completely different needs: the release of their own aggressive impulses, the masochistic desire to be humiliated, the hysterical demand to receive attention at the expense of the other in a couple, and so on. However, we will not take these “deviations” into account (this is the psychology of interpersonal relationships with various variations) and will take love as the maximum pole of the emotional amplitude of the visual vector as a starting point. It is the spectator who sees the meaning of life in love - and therefore is looking for how to revive the love of her husband or return the love of a guy if problems arise in a couple.
For the first 3 years, the fire of love is supported by natural sexual attraction, and the relationship seems to be just perfect: passion, adoration, an explosion of emotions that push the entire world around us from the list of priorities.
However, when the time allotted by nature for building strong relationships ends, and passion inevitably fades away, it turns out that love was not strong enough: under the influence of various factors, it retreated, throwing out the white flag. What are these factors, is it possible to return a husband's love and how to return a guy's feelings if everything was fine before?
WHAT ARE THESE FACTORS?
The people say: life has eaten. Everyday problems in the form of everyday life almost inevitably arise in the life of any young couple. There is also sexual cooling, programmed by nature itself. But this is not all: in any relationship there is something similar to some kind of built-in mechanism of destruction that interferes with maintaining a relationship with a loved one.
What does it mean? When we form a couple, we are often sure that we have found our soul mate, very similar in some way to ourselves. Someone is proud of the fact that they can go to football with their partner, while someone gets high together from opera arias. Someone is happy to find a colleague and like-minded person in a partner, while someone is happy to share one hobby for two. What kind of evil fate prevents our happiness, does not make it clear how to renew the love of her husband, how to return the guy's feelings and keep happiness for many years?
However, over time, an understanding comes that there are many differences between partners. We see that the person chosen as “halves” is very different from us. He is different, in many respects unlike, or even our complete opposite.
"So isn't opposites a perfect union?" - you may ask. This opinion is very common, but not entirely true. Yes, in terms of sexual energy, it is opposites that attract each other. This is how nature intended for humanity to develop. But if you analyze the many different successful marriages, it becomes clear that the development of relations between a man and a woman is not at all promoted by differences, but by what the partners unite: mutual understanding, mutual respect, sincere interest in each other, mature, giving love. At the same time, such partners realize that they have the right to be different. To understand how to revive the love of a husband or boyfriend, you need to understand well how this person is not like you, what are his values and priorities.
WHERE THERE IS THIN, THERE IS TORN
And where is subtle in a relationship between two?
Researchers of family happiness believe that achieving harmony requires several important conditions: mutual tolerance, common values, desire and ability to talk to each other, harmony in sex, common plans for the future. True, these researchers do not specify that if the first condition is not met, it will not work with everything else.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to understand the importance of mutual tolerance in a couple, and also allows a person with any family experience, life experience and education to learn this tolerance. And a deep knowledge of the partner's psyche gives an unmistakable answer how to return the feelings of a husband to his wife, even in couples with a solid "experience".
We are different, and what once drew us to each other (with an irresistible desire to get to know another better), over time, becomes a source of irritation, hostility, alienation, disappointment. Our behavior is governed by stereotypes, and we are not always and not immediately ready to part with the unconscious image of an ideal partner, which is very different from the real one. As a result, we are either trying to reshape our partner's world, or we view this stage of the relationship as the end of love, no longer hoping to return love to the relationship. But then what? A new partner, a new round of problems and questions, how to renew the love of a husband or how to return your own feelings to your husband in order to catch the elusive passion by the tail?
Not realizing how different people are in their mental nature, we draw the wrong conclusions: looking at the happy union of our acquaintances, we are trying to do everything the way they do. But there are no single solutions for every family. Because one pair is the union of a man with a skin vector and a woman with an anal one, and the second is, on the contrary, a marriage of a woman with a skin vector and a man with an anal one. And for them completely different "tricks" will be effective for the harmonious development of relationships and the return of love to the family. There are completely different ways of how to return the feelings of a husband to his wife or how to return her feelings to her husband.
Before you can take control of your emotions in order to maintain a relationship with your beloved, a wife with an anal vector will try for a long time to express her grievances about her husband's behavior. Why is he so fond of playing football after work, but not like quiet family evenings? Why is she constantly rushed and exploded from scratch when she begins to carefully and neatly fold things, preparing for the trip? Why does she freak out every time she gets behind the wheel (yes, she doesn't drive as fast as he does, but she's not crazy to drive like that!)?
And a wife with a skin vector from the second pair can be irritated by the slowness of her husband, his tedious meticulousness, his outlook on life, so honest and correct … Well, how can you try to resume normal relations with your husband when he constantly infuriates you ?!
Someone eventually understands that a person cannot be remade. But with this understanding, it turns out only to either continue to live next to your partner and endure (if you have enough patience), without experiencing any feelings for him, except hostility, or to part.
In principle, this is the picture we see today, looking at how quickly marriages break up, how many young people are not ready to endure, and also how unhappy those who agree to rub themselves. Even mega-patient owners of the anal vector are fed up with endless questions about how to return and restore relations with their husbands, to revive their former passion.
So what is it? Are love relationships doomed? Are tender feelings finite?
MODERN PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE
To avoid disappointment, we all need to understand that the development of a man-woman relationship does not happen by itself. The couple needs to work hard to build strong marriage walls in which reciprocity is most important.
But working without understanding who you are dealing with will not work - it will be a one-sided game. But if in some miraculous way you find out what is going on in your partner's head and why he does exactly what he does: what motivates him when he chooses football, and not evening gatherings; why is he so slow when you can do everything much faster; and why for one the value in life is truth and justice, while for another - personal comfort and convenience - then it is not just that mutual tolerance that is possible, but also a deep understanding and justification of a partner, without which even the most powerful and emotional visual love.
Without deep psychological literacy, any questions about how to restore relations with a husband or boyfriend remain questions - after all, there is no deep understanding of who we are dealing with. And although miracles do not happen, you can know all this about yourself and your soul mate. At the training System Vector Psychology, it is explained in great detail how to maintain a relationship with a guy, with a girl, husband and wife, until the relationship has completely cracked, and return love. And also - is it worth doing it specifically in your case.
This knowledge makes it possible to understand what is happening in our mental state and how to correctly decipher our own (and others') reactions and emotions that force us to perform different actions. By examining ourselves, and then the other, we get a much better chance of conquering our irritation, anger and even hatred, freeing love from the shackles of conflict. Then any question of how to renew a passionate relationship with your husband or keep a guy's love finds an unmistakable and accurate answer.
And everyone who uses this tool to build happy relationships has a chance to argue with the words of the magician from The Ordinary Miracle: "Glory to the brave men who dare to love, knowing that all this will come to an end!"
Love and be happy, dear readers. We are waiting for you at the free online lectures of Yuri Burlan - take a step towards your happiness. Register here.