How to understand yourself, or I want to get happiness from life
There are a lot of materials on the Internet, websites of psychologists, forums where you can ask questions and get answers to almost any problem. Probably good recommendations. If not for one thing: I don't know how to understand what I want!
I lost consciousness, only feelings remained …
Subtle … Barely definable … Either I want
music and flowers, or I want to stab someone.
E. Schwartz "An Ordinary Miracle"
It happens that you yourself do not understand what you want. Like this, and this, and the fifth, and the tenth - all at once or in turn. And one contradicts the other, you are completely confused in your own thoughts, feelings and desires, so much so that sometimes you even start to think - I don't want anything at all. Only certainties. Just understand how to understand yourself.
No, really! Other people seem to live, and everything is clear with them. They have goals, they have plans, they are generally even satisfied with life, they are not tormented by questions of how to understand themselves and understand themselves. And you alone are not like everyone else, you got confused in yourself, and you want to shout out: "But what is wrong with me ?!"
And the more you think, the more you get confused. And so it gets and depressing that at some point you already hate your own habits of self-digging and introspection. Moreover, they give nothing but disappointment and confusion in the head. And what to do?
There are a lot of materials on the Internet, websites of psychologists, forums where you can ask questions and get answers to almost any problem. Partially even helps - for a while. Only these tips are some general: take care of yourself more, give yourself time to just think about what you yourself want, write down a list of desires, do your favorite things …
Probably good recommendations. If not for one thing: I don't know how to understand what I want!
System-vector psychology: how to understand yourself
One thing is clear: what concerns the inner world of a person, what is happening in his thoughts and soul, is the subject of the study of psychology. Today, more and more often in the network, you come across references to a relatively new, unparalleled, but bringing a huge amount of results to the method, which is known as the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
The concept of vectors is the cornerstone of system-vector psychology. A vector is a set of innate properties, desires, abilities that determine a person's thinking, his values and the way he moves through life. Thus, having dealt with the vectors, you can understand your desires and the desires of other people, and figure out what to do with it next.
The main idea is that a person is multifaceted, a kind of diamond, and various manifestations of his properties affect his condition, sometimes alternately, sometimes simultaneously. Not realizing why this is happening, not catching these changes-switching, we feel some kind of confusion, experience mental discomfort, do not understand ourselves, do not understand others.
We understand ourselves and others
There are eight vectors. A person can own from one to eight of them. In the modern world in a big city, people usually have three to five vectors. Their combination is called a vector set. To understand what influence it has on a person's life path, we will analyze some vectors separately and find out what factors determine our own life, and what has nothing to do with it.
I want changes and career growth
The owners of the skin vector are earners and organizers by nature. She endowed them with very useful properties: flexibility of mind and body - adaptability, quick response, organization and self-discipline, ambition, rationalism, pragmatism, spirit of competition.
All these properties are aimed at the realization of the innate aspirations of the representatives of the skin vector, for them it is property and social superiority, career growth, novelty. For the sake of achieving their own desires, they are ready to work hard and efficiently.
Their goal is to reap the benefits and benefits, whether it be a successful financial deal and a winning partnership, saving resources and time, or exercising and a commitment to healthy eating.
The desire for change pushes such people onto the path of lawmaking and social transformation, engineering and design; makes them lovers of travel, change of scenery, new acquaintances.
Internal organization and the desire to organize the outside world go hand in hand. Only a person with a skin vector can be pleased to limit himself to something (daily routine, diet, even appearance: all buttons are buttoned, belt is tightened, hair is gathered). And it is quite logical that he is the one who can organize his own business, introduce the law, manage the company, command the army; it is he who has constructive thoughts about what needs to be done so that the team can effectively cope with the assigned tasks.
I want home comfort, respect and justice
People with an anal vector have the following properties: honesty, decency, integrity, conservatism, thoroughness, perseverance, diligence, good memory, attention to detail, perfectionism. They are real professionals, masters of their craft.
Collect all the necessary information from and to, thoroughly study the issue of interest, hone your skills and become the best in your field, and therefore worthy to pass on your knowledge to the next generation - this is the desire of the owner of the anal vector. Respect and honor, recognition of merit are his needs.
Justice, equality are very important for such a person. To do his job well and be duly appreciated, to receive gratitude for the help provided, to feel that the good will be repaid with good - this is the guarantee of inner comfort for him, and, consequently, the ability to sort out his thoughts if necessary. Otherwise, the feeling of deprivation and resentment makes him sometimes unable to clearly look at the situation.
The bearers of the anal vector gravitate towards manifestations of cleanliness in everything: order at home, impeccable reputation, sincere relationship, woman blameless, children tidy, salary "white", and a clear conscience.
You can write a separate article about the importance of home and family for such people. This is overvalue. A happy married life, children and family relations in general, home comfort - without this, the owner of the anal vector will not feel realized.
I want beauty, emotions and world peace
People whose psyche carries the properties of the visual vector have the highest emotional amplitude. Emotions, feelings, experiences they need like air. It is for the representatives of the visual vector that the main purpose of their existence can be love - reckless and all-embracing.
Filling sensory potential and establishing emotional connections are their innate desires. Normally, communication with people, sincere conversations and empathy with others are the main source of inspiration and pleasure for the carriers of the visual vector. It is these people who are able to feel fulfilled by volunteering, helping those in need, showing concern for others, promoting the value of human life and calling for peaceful coexistence.
They can win over those around them by simply making eye contact. And expressing sincere participation in the experiences of the interlocutor during a one-on-one conversation, give a feeling of understanding and trust, as if they are able to literally look into the soul.
If something goes wrong in realizing the sensory potential of people with a visual vector, then they try to get their share of pleasure with the help of emotional races: from fright when watching horror films to scandals and hysterics. Unable to understand their feelings, they themselves do not understand what they want.
The owners of the visual vector, like no one else, are able to notice the beauty of the surrounding world, to admire it. And to create it in various forms - too. Some people enjoy going to art museums, various exhibitions, theatrical performances, watching touching films, and reading sensual literature. Others take pleasure in realizing their qualities in the field of art and culture.
I want silence, meaningfulness and … something more
Representatives of the sound vector are obvious introverts, pensive, silent, outwardly low-emotional, sometimes aloof, indifferent or expressing disdain. The fact is that their desires lie outside the material plane. Their goal, which they themselves are not always aware of, is to cognize: themselves, the world order, the root cause.
Questions about the search for the meaning of life and everything that happens around him and inside him occupy the powerful intellect of the sound engineer. For such a person, concentration is extremely important: if he solves any problem, nothing should distract him from the thought process. Therefore, more often he prefers silence and lack of company in order to be alone with his ideas.
In general, he is quite picky about the choice of the environment, because empty talk about "nothing" is a serious source of discomfort for him.
The desire to be alone, to abstract from the outside world, to drown out interfering sounds can be expressed in love for heavy music: put in headphones, made it louder - it became easier, especially if some meanings are caught in the lyrics of the songs or they echo the inner state of the listener.
The desire to cognize the principles of being takes the form of scientific or creative research: physics, mathematics, chemistry, programming, philosophy, literature, new trends in art (for example, abstractionism, avant-garde, art house).
The natural desire to change the state of consciousness can push you to study various spiritual practices, autogenic training, esoteric teachings, etc. To find something barely perceptible there, beyond understanding - this is what the owner of the sound vector is striving for, consciously or not. In a meaningful form, this manifests itself as a desire to find oneself and one's place in life. But often the sound engineer himself does not understand what he lacks, which is why it is even harder.
A systematic understanding of oneself and the world radically changes the state for the better, allows one to understand the most complex existential issues:
Where do internal conflicts come from?
When some of our desires are not consistent with others, we feel it as an internal conflict. Such opposition causes strong psychological discomfort, and conflicting desires are not fully satisfied, since they "interfere" with one another.
It is important to distinguish one's own aspirations from those imposed by society: relatives pin certain hopes, society dictates its own rules, mass media propagandize new trends.
The impossibility of achieving one's own desires leads to severe dissatisfaction, stress and, as a result, an even more contradictory situation. And the more difficult it is to experience this state, the more we get bogged down in this vicious circle.
So why do we have counter-desires? There are two main reasons:
- Unsatisfactory condition in one vector due to insufficient implementation of its properties.
- Switching between different vectors, in which aspirations are sometimes radically different.
Let's consider them in more detail.
Unsatisfactory conditions
When we experience stress, a situation may arise that the manifestation of our qualities occurs, as it were, at a lower level - just to get a little satisfaction in order to alleviate our condition. I want to receive happiness from life, but I am content with scanty "discontent".
For example, the owner of the visual vector with all his heart wants to experience an emotional connection, sensual closeness with a dear person. Filling it with your feelings and empathy, fill with the very relationship.
But, experiencing stress, being in a state of fear or being unable to freely express their feelings due to false attitudes, it can throw out unspent feelings in the form of hysteria. Tries to "get" emotions and the missing feeling of security, provoking the interlocutor to prove affection and love.
This is the contradiction: “I want to do something good for him, to feel the mutual kinship of souls, to show how I care about him. But at the same time I want to yell at him! Reproach for indifference, demand attention. We cannot get more and choose less, primitive, and in the end we suffer.
Or a situation in which the owner of the anal vector may find himself: “I value my family, I adore my wife. This is the most important thing I have. I want to take care of her, provide stability and comfort. But! She didn't appreciate my help last time. Once she spoke to me very offensively and does not even remember it! And he doesn't respect my mother enough! I would like to repay her in the same coin. Not in order to harm, - I love her - to teach her how to do it right!"
Bad conditions of a person with an anal vector, lack of application of its properties (good memory, craving for justice, desire to pass on your experience, etc.) entail getting stuck in resentment, aggression, stubbornness, desire to teach, criticize, and so on.
In a person with a skin vector, a stressful condition or lack of implementation can cause, for example, a craving for inadequate savings, the pursuit of cheapness or gratuitousness, sometimes even a willingness to cheat, theft, deception.
Then his dreams of success become shallow and remain unfulfilled: “To become a wealthy person is my goal. I would like to invest money in the business and get profit in the future. But you have to spend so much! How to save money? ABOUT! I will ride in transport "hare". I will only buy things at sales. And cigarettes can be fired from colleagues. Where else can I get money? Maybe something to "crank"?"
It is hard for the carrier of the sound vector, who does not use his abilities and plunges into severe depressive states. If such a person for a long time fails to use his abilities on the path of knowledge and awareness, at some point he may begin to feel complete apathy.
Then the state “I want to know what is the meaning, cause and effect of everything in the world” is replaced by the state “I do not want anything - leave me all alone, let me be alone, finally!”. Instead of looking for essence in some form, striving to transform the world order, trying to figure out how to change your life for the better, you want to lock yourself in a room and go headlong into, for example, a computer game, replacing global goals with quests.
Inconsistent states in different vectors
As mentioned above, in the modern world, a person usually carries several vectors. Their properties, values and goals are different. Therefore, desires can contradict each other. Different vectors in one person are constantly switching, changing states, affecting each other depending on the circumstances - the pressure of the landscape.
For example, a person who has both a visual and a sound vector may suffer from such contradictions. The visual vector longs for communication, reaches out to people, seeks to share emotions with them, to get vivid impressions of the experiences and colors of the world around. The sound vector (due to insufficient realization of desires) does not really care about this very world, other people are indifferent or even unpleasant. Vanity, noise and conversations are depressing, a large company tires.
Or a person with both anal and skin vectors. The dermal strives for changes, for high speeds, for working on several fronts at once. The anal vector is conservative, prefers a measured course of things, taking on one thing and slowly bringing it to the point with all its inherent perfectionism. He would sit quietly at home under a checkered blanket, and not arrange a march through the city.
In a state of super stress, switching vectors may be inadequate for the circumstances. And in a situation when a person with an anal-cutaneous ligament is required to be quick and enterprising, he falls into a stupor; and if necessary, to be assiduous and scrupulous, it becomes fidgety and fussy.
Or such a turn: yesterday, having switched to the skin vector, the person somehow cheated, dodged in a certain difficult situation, and today he feels guilty and remorse for a lack of honesty in an anal way, but tomorrow he will be angry with himself in a skin for innocence …
Having several vectors that react differently to different situations, we can be exposed to the most diverse manifestations of their inconsistency. For example, a teenage girl, being a carrier of the anal, skin, visual and sound vectors at once, suffers from the fact that all her desires conflict with each other:
“I have always been an excellent student, I was great at drawing. But now I feel indifference to everything. I don't know how to sort out my feelings, what I want to do next, than earn money in the future. I am tired of my parents' reproaches, I fenced myself off more and more and blame myself for this. There are so many thoughts, ideas in my head, but it never comes to the point. A terrible boredom overcomes, there is neither the strength nor the desire to take on anything, communicate with someone. Sometimes there is a feeling of inferiority."
It should be mentioned separately that there are dominant vectors. One of them is the sound vector. And while the desires characteristic of him are not satisfied, the rest will be of lesser importance: a person simply will not see much sense in their embodiment. But even after filling them, it will not receive all possible joy - the unrealized sound vector "drowns out" everything else.
How do I know what I want?
Almost all of us are subject to serious conditions from time to time. Someone is waiting for them as best they can. And someone is looking for solutions by all means.
The question is: how can a person understand himself if he does not control his unconscious?
Answer: learn to track your states, identify them and know how to fill them.
System-vector psychology calls everything by its proper names. Understanding what is happening to you, why certain desires manifest in you, what psychological mechanisms are responsible for this, you begin to realize what to expect from yourself next and how to deal with it.
The more multifaceted our psyche, the more opportunities open up before us, the more diverse the ways to take place as a person. This means that the more happiness we are able to find by fully using our potential.
At the online training "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan, the features of all eight vectors and their combinations are examined in detail, and the cause-and-effect relationships of possible states are explained. What is given is what many of us lack so much: certainty, understanding of our true nature, the realization that versatile aspirations are not a reason for suffering, but a colossal resource for winning the most exciting game called Life!
The trainees received a clear answer to the question of how to understand themselves and other people.
Join free online lectures in the very near future - start moving along the path of awareness.
