One on the windowsill: how to help a depressed person
To know how to get a person out of depression, you need to understand why he got there. The concept of "depression" hides completely different mental conditions, while the proposed options for help for depression are often universal. This is fundamentally wrong.
Depression comes uninvited and the world around you changes. Simple joys disappear one after another. You do not notice the smile of a loved one, you look indifferently at the transformation of nature, the vanity of people irritates you, you begin to avoid communication. First you don't want to, then you can't. The trap has slammed shut, there is no way out. How to save yourself from depression, when every day the piggy bank of something that has nothing to do with you is rapidly filling up? As if an unfulfilled spider injects the paralyzing poison of indifference into the soul. I don't want to make an effort. Just sleep and not wake up …
Depression can be caused by specific reasons: loss of family, illness, dismissal, divorce. However, the deepest depressive falls are possible for no apparent reason. "What is he missing?" - then the relatives reasonably ask, trying to somehow get the person out of depression. The answer to this question is more complicated than it sounds. They try everything indiscriminately: they stir up, amuse, introduce, give advice from their experience, but the depression does not go away. The depressing person is an ordeal for the psyche of loved ones. Here he lies for hours without moving, directing an unseeing gaze to the TV, monitor, or even just into emptiness. What happened then? Who died? Not? What? And nothing, emptiness. When emptiness has settled in the soul, there is no room for anything else.
Help for depression: how to choose the optimal strategy
To know how to get a person out of depression, you need to understand why he got there. The concept of "depression" hides completely different mental states, while the proposed options for help are often universal. This is fundamentally wrong. If one person really needs to be entertained and distracted, to arrange a celebration of life around him, then such fireworks will drive another into an even deeper depression, which can accelerate the irreparable.
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan examines the whole variety of the mental through the prism of eight vectors, which in various combinations make up the matrix of the mental structure of each of us. Knowing the basic rules for the mutual influence of vector components, it is safe to say what type of depressive disorder your loved one suffers, which means that you can choose the optimal program for helping with depression.
Below we will consider the features of typical depressive disorders in carriers of various vectors and will try to give recommendations for the prevention of depression in each case.
Let's start with the worst case - true depression in the sound vector.
To understand why exactly the sound falls into depression, you need to realize the special desires of the sound vector, which are absent in other vectors. This is the only way to determine how to help this particular person get out of depression.
Search is a special desire in sound. If in other vectors the question is "What is the meaning of life?" finds a completely obvious answer: in love, in friendship, in children, in pleasure, in money, in their quantity, etc., then for a sound engineer the answer is ambiguous. He is not satisfied with any of the available answers. Sound search is too voluminous to fill it with something specific. Even those sound specialists who purposefully seek the answer to their inner question do not always find it, cannot find it. So it makes no sense? Then why all this? Is it worth continuing meaningless body movements and isn't it easier to end an intolerable existence in a hateful body once and for all?
The situation is aggravated by the inability to realize their shortcomings. The person really doesn't know what is oppressing him. The unbearable heaviness of being is difficult to verbalize. Hence the depression for no apparent reason, the most severe and deepest, when there is no answer, because the question has not been asked. And that's all bad. Unbearable. Unrealistically hard. Anyone who has not experienced this despair on himself is unlikely to understand the whole hopelessness of an unfilled sound. This inhuman pressure of emptiness can probably only be compared with the overloads of the first cosmonauts, only here it is not the body but the soul that experiences overloads.
Sound depression is always on the verge of irreparable. Suicidal thoughts can become obsessions. Although the body is secondary for the sound engineer, and the pain of the soul is several times greater than the suffering of the body, the latter cannot be disregarded either. With sound depression, a person can also experience quite tangible physical suffering: pain in the chest, abdomen, aching legs, and a severe headache. And yet, in sound, getting rid of the body is seen primarily as the cessation of the suffering of the soul.
Is it possible at all to get a person out of such depression and prevent suicide?
System-vector psychology shows that any true human desire is provided with the ability to fill it. The desire for a sound search is provided by the ability to concentrate, for which the sound engineer needs peace and silence. Therefore, sound engineers often work at night, when the possibility of extraneous noise is minimized. These are programmers, translators, research scientists. If the sound engineer is deprived of the opportunity to concentrate for a long time, he can fall into an extremely negative state. And here, no matter how hard you try, it is extremely difficult, almost impossible to get a person out of sound depression. There are two reasons for this.
Firstly, a person in sound depression is extremely non-contact, he closes himself in his shell, excluding any intrusion from the outside. He can react sluggishly, or even extremely sharply, to attempts to "brake", going even deeper into himself. If your loved one, husband, relative has sound depression, the last thing you need is the noise and fuss around.
Secondly, a person in a depressive sound is so unattractive for communication that others, as a rule, by all means avoid contact with him. There is a situation in which there is simply no one to ask how to help such a person get out of depression. Even the most angelic patience ends if you see how they ignore you, do not answer calls, do not open the door, do not respond to tears, persuasions, pleas. A vicious circle of depression arises, and there is simply no way out of it due to the application of efforts by someone from the outside.
The sound engineer can only save himself from depression, and at the same time save the world from himself. Often he solves this problem radically - he kills himself. Sometimes he takes with him a dozen or a hundred vain useless people.
But there is a way out!
To see it, you need to understand the true cause of depression in sound, then it will become clear how not to get depressed.
The specific role of the bearer of the sound vector consists in finding answers to the most complex questions of life. When it is impossible to focus on external tasks, the performance of the specific role is threatened, the sound engineer concentrates on himself, withdraws into himself.
Others perceive this as unjustified selfishness. But things are much worse. Sound egocentrism is many times worse than any everyday "egoism". The soundman not only does not want to see anyone around, but needs to be done so that he can see. A sound person in depression can no longer feel stimuli from the outside, he is in an impenetrable capsule of egocentrism and perceives only what is written on the inside of his cranium. Outwardly, such a person may, by the way, be quite adequate. He goes to work, polite to others. But around him there is already a strip of alienation, into which one does not want to fall.
Thus, psychological help in case of sound depression should consist only in one thing - correction of the very “recording on the inner side of the cranium”. This can be done through a systemic awareness of one's mental and one's tasks in the landscape. Yuri Burlan's training "System-Vector Psychology" helps to get rid of depressive disorders forever for people with any vector set, but for sound specialists this is the only effective help and prevention of depression.
Realizing his internal mental structure, the sound engineer in a depressed state receives an incredible answer to the unasked question "Why am I here?" And he finds what he is looking for - Meanings. The laws of the structure of the universe at infinity and inside the capsule of living matter come into line with each other. The black point of depressive emptiness in the heart is filled with the light of awareness of one's place in the puzzle of Creation. You begin to see the whole instead of the parts. A Goal appears on which it makes sense to focus. You start to move towards the goal. The most interesting thing is that all this happens by itself, no meditation with catharsis is required. On an unconscious level, each of us knows the best way to harmony with the world. Systemic psychoanalysis makes this path conscious.
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As for other vectors, there are extremely negative states in them, which are usually called depression, although in the strict sense of the word these states are not depression. Let's analyze these states for individual vectors.
My husband is depressed - we help systemically
1) Overstress in the skin vector.
The reason is excessive stress arising from the constant striving for success, career growth, earnings. People of "skin" often set themselves too high a bar for personal achievement, but it is not always possible to take it, someone can always be better. The "skinner" trip is a scenario for failure. As a rule, such a scenario develops in childhood, when the child does not receive an adequate assessment of his work or is beaten.
The skin tries to adapt, as a result of which masochism can develop as the relief of pain with endorphins, and a person will subconsciously look for situations of pain, failure, defeat. Often, the carrier of a fully realized skin vector is the head of a large company. In terms of his specific role, he is not the first in the pack, it is difficult for him to cope with the role of a leader, severe stress arises, which can be perceived as depression. How to get such a person out of depression? It is necessary to break his script into failure, or at least try to take the edge off. The transfer of the situation of masochism to bed works well, this is the best psychological help for depression in the skin vector. In the West, such things are widely practiced, in our country it is more difficult. If the dermal husband is depressed, the wife is encouraged to sometimes assume a dominant role in sexual play.
The possibility of realizing skin deficiencies in another application will also help. Sports, competition in various games, dancing, swimming, massage and other skin pleasures can help a person to get out of depression caused by skin stress. For women with skin stress,ts or shopping are helpful. The latter must be carried away with caution so that it does not become a new problem.
2) Stupor of the anal vector.
The desire of people of the anal warehouse to bring the result of their labor to perfection can sometimes do them a bad service. In modern society, everything must be done quickly. Time is money. Lost time - lost money. Unhurried solid anal sexes do not have time to adjust to the rapid change in environmental factors, from which they experience the most severe stress and accumulate them in themselves in the form of resentment and disappointment. How can you help such a depressed person? First of all - adequate praise, a benevolent assessment of what he is doing. You should not throw him into a stupor by constantly mentioning the successes of your skin neighbor or colleague. Prolonged anal stupor looks like depression. The same refusal to act, rigidity, sluggish reaction to external stimuli, household dirt may appear. In the latter case, it's time to make every effortto help the person get out of depression, otherwise it may be late.
3) Visual swing, fears and phobias.
The visual vector contributes its color to the structure of depression. These are fears. It's scary to leave the house, to talk on the phone, it's scary to sleep in the dark, so insomnia, fear of death. Visual people are suspicious and demonstrative, they can give out a whole range of hypochondriacal disorders. Spectators in poor condition go to fortune-tellers and sorcerers, they can become victims of sects. The cause of visual fears is the unconscious fear of death. Nevertheless, it is the spectators who are the most frequent directors of demonstrative suicides, some of which, against the wishes of the author, succeed.
How to get a visual sufferer out of depression? Vector systems psychology provides detailed recommendations. In general, it is necessary to help the person feel love. After all, fear and love are two poles of the states of the visual vector. Fears can be brought out only by love, which is possible only in sight. If a person is consumed by fears, he is full of thoughts about himself and his beloved and his semi- and imaginary illnesses, give him someone who will really need love and empathy. Love is the best medicine, in this case it is a fact, not a figure of speech. As a prevention of depression by the type of visual stress, travel, walks in beautiful places, films and exhibitions can be used. Everything that delights vision and provides a change in visual impressions. But the most important thing is to create emotional bonds, especially with thosewho needs help, support.
In conclusion, I would like to emphasize once again that the conditions listed above are not depressions as such. Unlike true depression in sound, negative states in other vectors disappear, one has only to fill life with tangible earthly joys: love, travel, friends, money, other happy everyday events. A similar "leveling" of sound depression is impossible, since there are simply no earthly, material shortages in the sound, the sound engineer, by and large, does not even care if he ate. This difference should be remembered by everyone who is going to provide psychological help for depression to their loved one.
System-vector psychology shows a way out of negative states in any vector. Realizing their mental deficiencies in time, a person can independently get out of the deepest depression, get rid of the bondage of fears and obsessive states. Systemic knowledge makes it possible to recognize in time alarming signs of negativity in loved ones and provide them with all possible help. The best treatment is known to be prevention. Depression prevention is, first of all, conscious work with your desires and adequate filling of deficiencies. Not an endless escape from suffering, but enjoying life as it is.
