I don't want to be a girl - what happens to me?
Who are they, these girls who are alien to everything feminine? Why don't they feel feminine in themselves? How can your own body be disgusting? Could there really be a mistake in the heavenly office when the male soul receives the female body?
I think there was an error. I was supposed to be born a boy. Why? Because I don't know how to be a girl. I don’t like pink, lace and trinkets, flowers and perfume, I don’t know how to dye, follow fashion, I don’t wear mini, and maxi too.
I do not care about the attention of the blond from the next doorway, the text messages of an acquaintance or unfamiliar guy, or the gossip of pseudo-girlfriends or grandmothers in the yard.
I'm not interested in nightclubs, noisy parties, or this disgusting shopping. I'm the wrong girl … and I never wanted to be, but I had no choice.
I do not know what to talk about with people, and why to do it. Loneliness suits me, silence attracts me. I am not created for everything feminine, I do not know how to behave like a woman, female desires are alien to me. My body irritates me.
If I were a boy, everything would be simpler, clearer, more obvious. It would obviously be easier for me to live …
"Nature's mistake
Non-standard for an ordinary girl behavior, desires, aspirations, interests, thoughts in a woman's body. All this gives rise to misunderstanding of others, conflicts with loved ones, problems in communicating with peers. Detachment, isolation, apathy grow, life loses its meaning, depression piles on.
Who are they, these girls who are alien to everything feminine? Why don't they feel feminine in themselves? How can your own body be disgusting? Could there really be a mistake in the heavenly office when the male soul receives the female body? Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology answers all these questions.
What does it mean to be a woman?
The generally accepted image of femininity is formed by the skin-visual woman.
Emotionally open, sensual, amorous, she has her own special life scenario. She always flirts with men, seduces, creates sensual connections. She is a trendsetter as a seduction tool.
A skin-visual beauty looks at us from the cover of every glossy magazine: manicure, makeup, jewelry and accessories always match the chosen image and emphasize the expressive features of the face and figure. It is thanks to the skin-visual woman that we get an idea of what she should be - a desirable woman.
Another component of the female image is a woman with an anal vector, a classic faithful wife, mistress and mother, for whom home, family and children are a priority, she can devote her whole life to them. Caring hostess, homemaker, the best mother.
Our heroine, striving for silence and solitude, is completely different. She is burdened by her own body, her interests are far from seducing men or housekeeping, because she has a different nature. System-vector psychology calls her the owner of the sound vector.
The desires of any woman are determined by her innate properties. We are all different, and what is easily obtained by a skin-visual woman is not possible for others. At the same time, the values of the anal mistress are completely alien to women with other vectors. But not because others are wrong, but because the tasks for different vectors are different.
Under the influence of public opinion, we involuntarily begin to compare ourselves with one or another expressive and well-established image, and when we do not find common boundaries, we come to the idea that something is wrong with us, that we are wrong, and even that we were not born in that body.
Black cat in a dark closet
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan clearly shows how and why a girl can form a belief that she was born in the wrong body. And most importantly, it shows how to fix the situation and find yourself.
The desire to change sex can arise in a bundle of sound and skin vectors. The main lack, the main desire of the sound engineer is to find the meaning of life, to understand how it all works, where I came from and where I am going, why I live this life.
The sound search for the meaning of life forms those very strange, at first glance, hobbies that other girls do not share. It can be physics, philosophy, programming, online games and any subcultures that create a parallel reality and their own ideology. We are looking for something that reveals to us the structure of the universe, or we are trying to create an artificial meaning.
Congenital introversion of the sound vector and sensitive hearing make you avoid noisy companies, active communication and various entertainment events. Or, on the contrary, it drives the internal vacuum to anesthetize at deafening parties.
The material desires of the skin vector are quite weak and are simply not able to break through the iceberg of sound shortages.
It is not surprising that a self-absorbed and detached skin-sound woman may seem strange in comparison with expressive visual young ladies. In addition, even receiving the stigma of a freak, she does not seek to debunk this erroneous opinion of others, going further and further into her own inner world, fencing off from reality in which her desires are not understood and not accepted.
The attraction to the opposite sex in sound women is, as a rule, lower than in others, and this is due to the asexuality of the sound vector, a kind of isolation from everything earthly (although much depends on the state of the sound vector and on the presence of other vectors). The period of first loves, novels and broken hearts for all her girlfriends may coincide with complete indifference to such adventures in the sound girl, and this is due to the lack of meaning in the sound search. After all, you must agree, why eat, breathe, love, if it is not clear why all this?
All this contributes to the formation of rationalization about the "gender error".
How many times does she have to hear from others, including close people: "You're a girl, why are you behaving this way?", "You're just like a guy!" etc. With their low psychological literacy, others help the sound woman to assert that she was born in a strange body.
In search of happiness
Another feature of sound professionals of any gender is the sense of their “I” apart from their body. I am and there is my material shell, which needs to be fed, clothed, and taken somewhere. The worse my sound states, the less I see meaning in life as such, the more I hate everything external from my I, that is, everything material. The first "accused" is your own body. The sound person thinks that her body is interfering with her, because it is female. An illusion arises that she can accept it if it is masculine.
It happens that the skin sound person decides to take the most desperate step - a sex change. The saddest thing is that surgery, changing external signs does not solve the problem, because in fact it has nothing to do with gender.
Therefore, after physical recovery from terrible medical procedures, disappointment comes. After all, there is no more happiness, no new goals have arisen, the meaning of life has not been acquired, the inner emptiness has not gone anywhere … and then the depression worsens. Because there are no more options. The understanding comes that the problem is not related to the body, it is deeper, much deeper - in the soul. And what to do with it is unclear.
I'm not weird, I'm normal
The entire scope of desire is always provided with appropriate opportunities in order to realize these desires and dreams. Potentially high intelligence, the ability to deeply concentrate, abstract thinking and a keen desire to get the same answers to internal questions - all this was given to a sound woman for a reason. And she can realize all her talents, knowing herself and the world around her.
Self-knowledge, which is provided by online training in system-vector psychology, knowledge of the essence and nature of things fills the gaping voids of the sound vector.
Answers are coming to those very sick, but unasked questions about the nature of the human soul. The once strange sound desires cease to seem strange. All the fragments of a seemingly shattered life add up to a complete and amazingly accurate puzzle of causation.
The bottomless black hole of meaningless existence turns into a life filled with deep meaning. Everything falls into place. And desires, and preferences, and the reasons for the decisions made and not made, and the true essence of the perfect actions.
The filling of the tormenting sound desires is felt by the enjoyment of the same power as the suffering from frustrations was quite recently. With the same strength as not wanting to live, comes the desire to enjoy life. As much as her feminine nature irritated and was regarded as the cause of all suffering, just as much she causes surprise, admiration and the joy of being herself.
It is those sound girls who did not even try to dissuade their surroundings in their own strangeness, who are most happy that they have no strangeness. And there are only sound properties.
In a heavenly office, mistakes cannot happen. Any woman is born a woman and is her to the bone. It's just that a woman with a sound vector has desires and goals different from her friends.
You can find a new meaning, find your real self at lectures on system-vector psychology. Register for the next free online training here.
