Fear of death: how to get out of stifling captivity
It is useless to convince yourself that the transition from life to death is a natural process and that everyone will be there someday to stop being afraid of death. As well as trying with the help of the mind to change negative ideas about death to positive ones. Because fear is irrational and not subject to mind control. It is possible to get rid of it only through psychoanalysis of unconscious causes and knowledge of how to cope with your emotions …
“The big problem is the fear of death for some people, including me. As they grew older, from 16-17, attacks of fear of death began. I don't know how to call it otherwise. Turn off the light, go to bed. Nothing bad happens in the head. And then there is literally one fleeting thought about death, as all attention immediately becomes fixated on it. A few seconds later, screaming and terrified, I was thrown out of bed and walked around the rooms. As suddenly as it began, it passed. Now I'm 21. As I got older, these attacks became more frequent. Up to the point that I found myself in this state every day, for several days in a row. Added to this was another psychosomatics. Panic attacks in public. Fear of the dark, up to the same attacks with the onset of night, even in private."
This is a description of the fear of death of Alexander, a student of Yuri Burlan's training "System Vector Psychology". Thousands of people come to the training with the question: how to get rid of the fear of death? - and get rid of it completely. We will answer the questions related to the fear of death using systemic psychoanalysis. And the stories of people who described their states before and after the training of Yuri Burlan will help us.
Is it normal to be afraid of death?
Of course, there are situations where this fear is justified. For example, in case of danger to life. When bombed or taken hostage, naturally, a person begins to fear for his life. My heart is pounding, and my legs give way with horror.
But when a state of panic fear of a sudden death covers for no apparent reason, and almost every day, so much so that you are afraid to go out into the street, this, of course, is a pathology that needs to be got rid of.
Is it true that all people are afraid of death?
This is not true. There are eight types of mental - vectors. For example, owners of two vectors - muscle and sound - are not afraid of death.
The muscle man perceives death as a return to paradise, a state before birth, when all his basic needs were satisfied through the umbilical cord of his mother - to eat, drink, breathe, sleep. He has a particularly reverent, reverent attitude towards death. Perhaps you have met such people in the villages, for them a funeral is a solemn event.
The sound engineer unconsciously knows that a person is not only a body. Because for him the psyche, soul, his inner state are more important than bodily needs. He “knows” that after death he will not die, therefore he is not afraid of her. In a state of depression, lack of meaning in life, he even waits for her, as an opportunity to end the suffering of the soul.
Many other people are more or less afraid of death, preferring not to think or remember it for no reason. And they touch on this issue only out of necessity, when faced, for example, with the death of loved ones.
But there are 5% of people with a visual vector in their psyche, for whom the fear of death can become a real problem.
Fear of death symptoms
The fear of dying is difficult to confuse with anything else. It can be a very acute condition, similar to an attack.
“The all-consuming, exhausting feeling that you are flying down into the abyss. You are conscious, but as if you live in two realities. In one you are alive, in the other you are dying."
“I had in a dream, when falling asleep, the illusion of free fall. I woke up, and sometimes, during periods when this happened often, I had a fear that it would happen again and then - that I would simply die in my sleep. The fear of death is the fear of falling. Everything inside shrinks, dizziness. I understood that it was irrational, but it was still in a mild form when falling asleep."
“An outbreak of some kind of inadequate horror. My heart pounded loudly and sank into my heels. Instantly covered with sticky sweat, hands trembling, one thought in my head: "I'm dying."
Or it can be an overwhelmed feeling of anxiety, when, whatever you do, your thoughts keep returning to your fear.
“After nightmares, there is a fear of death. I feel it exactly like the horror of falling asleep."
“I’m very afraid to eat something stale and die, get sick and die alone, so I always surround myself with people - I try to walk with them, I invite them to visit, I go to the doctors.”
Most often, the fear of death is recognized as such and is experienced as:
- acute fear of dying during panic attacks;
- constant anxiety for your life;
- hypochondria - fear of getting sick and dying from an illness.
Panic attacks
Symptoms and psychosomatics of panic attacks:
- strong fear of dying;
- palpitations;
- lack of air;
- nausea;
- dizziness;
- a jump in blood pressure;
- upset stool.
Life anxiety
Anxiety can take different forms, when any event in the world around you provokes thoughts of death and all-consuming fear. It could be news of an international conflict or the siren of an ambulance. Or there may not be any provoking events at all, but simply in the morning a person wakes up with a feeling of anxiety, is afraid to go out - it is dangerous there. He cannot relax, he is in constant tension.
Julia told how she experienced such states and how she got rid of the fear of death and anxiety: “I passed the panic fear of ambulance sirens, from which my legs literally gave way, my heart was pounding, and at the same time I was instantly covered with cold, nasty sticky sweat from uncontrollable animal fear, ceasing to think anything."
Anxiety can be for loved ones - children, spouse, parents. This form is characteristic of people with strong family values - the owners of the anal-visual ligament vectors. They are very dependent on relationships with loved ones, they feel good only when the family is nearby and safe. Anxiety for loved ones is actually a masked fear of dying yourself if something happens to dear people. It feels like "I won't take it if something happens to him (her)."
Hypochondria
The hypochondriac is constantly listening to his body. The slightest discomfort or pain scares him greatly. He finds in himself non-existent, fatal diseases. In order to somehow calm himself down, he constantly goes to the doctors, takes tests, is treated.
Julia told how it happened with her and how she got rid of the fear of illness and death:
Causes of fear of death
The reasons for fear of death can be different. But there is one common to all. To reveal it, let us turn to the past, to what happened at the dawn of humanity, and consider the emergence and evolution of this fear.
We said that only 5% of the world's population, the owners of the visual vector, can experience such a strong fear of death that it prevents them from living. They generally tend to feel with a large amplitude. If fear, then such that you faint. If love, then with a touch of euphoria, which is not scary to die.
The fear of dying is the most powerful, root emotion that came before all other emotions. It is from this fear that positive feelings develop - love, kindness, sympathy, empathy. And if they do not develop, then the fear of dying is transformed into other fears and phobias.
When a female appeared in the ancient human flock, whose eyesight was the most vigilant, and whose emotions were the strongest, they began to take her to hunt along with the men. Noticing a predator in the savannah, when no one had seen him yet, she was very frightened, screamed, "smelled" of fear, warning of danger. Her fear of dying from the fangs of a predatory beast at that time fulfilled its constructive function - it saved the flock from death. Then he developed into other feelings - love and compassion. The special value of human life has been formed.
Over time, people became more protected from the dangers of the wild, but fear remained in the collective unconscious, continuing to torment especially sensitive members of the human community - the spectators, if they were unable to develop their feelings or are in a stressful situation. It can also take on a variety of forms - directly from fear of death to fear of spiders. At the heart of all visual fears is the fear of dying.
Now let's see what are the individual reasons.
Unrealization
If a visual child felt security and safety in the family, he had a spiritual connection, support from his mother, he was read the right books that develop compassion, then he developed feelings. He is capable of love and compassion like no other.
However, it so happens that an adult does not realize his huge emotional amplitude. For example, he has a job that does not involve the expression of emotions - dry, paper-based, not creative. Or he found himself alone - with no one to communicate with, pour out his soul. This situation can provoke fears.
It is not for nothing that many spectators suffering from panic attacks note that they feel better when during an attack someone is nearby, rushes to help, shows sympathy, someone with whom you can create an emotional connection. Even just going to the hospital, where someone takes care of him, soothes, heals, relieves the attack.
Trauma, over-stress
Very often the reason for the fear of dying is some kind of dramatic event that scares to the depths of the soul, shakes the swing of emotions. For example, the death of a loved one, an accident, when the spectator sees the death of people and a lot of blood.
The spectator is an unusually impressionable person. He doesn't just see, he looks at everything through a magnifying glass. Makes an elephant out of a fly, winds it up, fantasizes. He is extremely suspicious, tries everything on himself, and now it seems to him that he died and is lying in a coffin. In such a situation, it is very easy to awaken root fear.
Sometimes this happens in childhood, when a child is present at a funeral and receives psychological trauma that has a strong impact on his entire life. This is how Irina describes such an event - she remembered it at the training:
How to get rid of the fear of death
It is useless to convince yourself that the transition from life to death is a natural process and everyone will be there someday in order to stop being afraid of death. As well as trying with the help of the mind to change negative ideas about death to positive ones. Because fear is irrational and not subject to mind control. It is possible to get rid of it only through psychoanalysis of unconscious causes and knowledge of how to cope with your emotions.
How to deal with the fear of dying yourself
First, about what not to do:
- don't try to overcome your fear of imagining your own death or trying to survive it - it will only increase the fear. We remember about the developed visual imagination;
- one should not avoid the topic of death and emotions in general, in an attempt to forbid oneself to feel - not watch heavy films, leave people with problems, not sympathize, not worry. Banning emotions will only increase fears. It is impossible to get rid of the desires that are inherent in nature. They will manifest in one way or another;
- you should not turn to healers, grandmothers, be treated with conspiracies and prayer. Many people point to the positive impact of prayer at the time of a fit of fear due to faith in God or a saint who can solve the problem for you. But this is only a pill that will calm down for a while, relieve the symptom, but will not remove the cause.
In order to get rid of the cause, you need to realize it - to see how the visual vector developed in childhood, whether there were any traumas, whether emotions are being realized now. This is possible only by accurately understanding your psyche.
The meaning of life for a person with a visual vector is in love, communication, the ability to show feelings, share their emotions with other people. See what your relationships with people are, if there is a wealth of emotional connections in your life, because your inner state depends on it.
Yuri Burlan tells about one of the options, how to reach people, how to awaken feelings:
No matter how the fear of death manifests itself, it is real to get rid of it. Those who completed the training "System-vector psychology" were convinced of this:
