Everyone is equal before hate, or I hate my child
Child hatred - there are more such cases than meets the eye. Often, feeling dislike for the baby, the mother is afraid to admit this even to herself, but denial of the problem is not her solution …
Is it possible to hate a child … your own, dear, small, sometimes the only one, completely innocent of anything?
To many of us, such feelings will seem like some kind of blasphemous delirium, a product of a sick fantasy that has nothing to do with reality. But there are a lot of such cases. It is easy to dismiss an article on psychology, but it is simply impossible to turn a blind eye to such a stubborn thing as statistics.
Thousands of searches on the topic of hatred, dislike of one's own child and how to cope with it indicate the high relevance of this topic.
If dislike for a neighbor, boss or ex-husband does not cause much concern, then negative feelings towards their own child make many people think and look for the reason for this state of affairs.
Monsters living inside
Child hatred - there are more such cases than meets the eye. Often, disliking the baby, the mother is afraid to admit it even to herself, but denying the problem is not her solution.
When a child becomes an object of dislike, everything that is associated with him becomes hated. As scary as it sounds, even his things, toys, his similarity with his father or mother, his voice, appearance, speech, desires and actions cause irritation. His very presence evokes negative emotions, not to mention whims or antics. Any communication or joint pastime is reduced to a minimum, an insurmountable wall is built between the child and the parent, which is quite capable of making the existing hostility mutual.
The destruction of the mother-child relationship has a negative impact on a woman's self-awareness, guilt, irritability, fatigue and hopelessness significantly reduce the quality of life. The thought arises that I am a bad mother, and that the birth of this child was generally a mistake, and dissatisfaction with my own fate grows.
In addition, this situation is especially detrimental to the child. The loss of emotional connection with the mother, and hence the lack of a sense of security and safety, calls into question the normal development of the psychological properties of the baby. The child feels unnecessary, unloved, alien.
Behold the root of hate
The essence of the problem of the emergence of hostility to one's own child becomes clearly understandable in the light of the categories of system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. And understanding the reasons makes it possible to resolve the situation.
Dislike for one's neighbor is part of human nature. Only a person is generally able to feel a neighbor, and hostility becomes the very first, and therefore a primitive way of feeling another person. We all live in a society, no one can survive alone, therefore the entire path of human development is associated with his interaction with people. Over the course of thousands of years, we have learned to transform our hostility into other, more complex forms of interaction with neighbors through the realization of our innate psychological properties.
Realizing ourselves in society, satisfying the existing needs of the psyche, we bring into a balanced state all biochemical processes in the central nervous system, which is felt like pleasure. In other words, filling our shortages, we feel happy, rejoice, enjoy life. And the higher the level at which the realization of psychological properties is, the more complete the pleasure, and the lower, the more primitive the way of satisfaction, the weaker, less and more short-term pleasure is obtained.
Dislike in itself is a deficiency in the realization of the innate properties of the psyche. This is the simplest, primitively known and primitive way of people interacting with each other. Dislike is not narrowly focused - at first, dislike appears, and then an object is found for it. And often this object becomes the one who is most often near - the child. Or our rationalizations help in the style of “his resemblance to my ex-husband infuriates me,” “she does everything for my evil,” “because of him, I have to stay at home,” and so on.
Lack of realization becomes the cause of a negative state, in which the manifestation of hostility becomes possible, only in emptiness can hatred arise, only against the background of suffering appears their culprit, hostility itself finds an object, and we come up with reasons and explanations for ourselves.
A person who is fully realized and daily simply leaves no room for dislike in his psyche. He is satisfied and filled with a sense of pleasure from his activities, he has no desire for filling in a primitive way, when he does it at a higher level - the level of a modern person.
The verge of dislike
When the lack of realization makes itself felt by the emergence of hatred towards a fragile and helpless baby, we perceive this state of affairs according to the vectors that we carry in ourselves. Our worldview is shaped by our vectors, and hence our rationalizations. We explain our feelings to ourselves according to our own values.
Feelings of guilt about dislike for their own child and feelings, they say, I'm a bad mother, tormented women with an anal vector. They are especially sensitive to the child's disobedience, his unwillingness or failure in school, for which they tend to punish, including physically.
Skin mothers can perceive the child as the cause of material losses, high expenses, forced loss of time. Slow, sluggish children with an anal vector, who are fundamentally different psychologically from their mother, cause particular irritation in such a woman.
Child hatred can arise under the pressure of lacks in the sound vector. A baby, especially a small one, is a source of noise, screaming, crying, which painfully affects the sound mother in an unfilled state. The need to constantly be close to the child excludes the possibility of solitude and silence, which is also negatively perceived by sound specialists.
Understanding the essence of one's own psychological nature, one's needs, desires and those shortcomings that cause a negative state and cause hostility, hatred towards a child simply because he exists, each person is able to change the situation for the better.
By revealing the true causes of negativity to our neighbor, we influence the quality of our own life, thereby allowing us to reveal our potential. Realizing all the psychological properties of our personality, for the first time we feel so satisfied that the attitude towards the child changes by itself.
The mother-child relationship in a positive way significantly affects the development of a small person, thereby shaping the level of his future adult life.
Hatred of anyone is a destructive state, and hatred of a child spoils life not only for the one who feels it, but also affects the future of the baby. Do not let the negativity penetrate so deeply into your destiny, now it is in your hands! You can understand and understand the reasons for your own dissatisfaction already at free introductory online lectures on system-vector psychology.
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