My son is a crybaby, or When a real man has tears close
The next evening, the mother puts her beloved son in the crib. But before he can reach his bedroom, the baby stands in front of her in tears, with eyes big with fear: "Mommy, I'm scared, turn on the light!" Dad, of course, is indignant again: “Well, what a crybaby ?! Well, can a future man be afraid of the dark? "…
Immediately after giving birth, my mother could not get enough of this miracle. “Just look at what a handsome man she gave birth to: her eyes are large, expressive, full of tenderness and kindness. One lovely sight! " Some friends said: "Oh, what a beautiful baby, he is just like a girl!" “No, what are you, - said my mother, - this is my boy like that.” Dad was in seventh heaven with happiness: “Well, how many girls can you give birth to, eh? That's right, the kid should be in the family. Here, I will raise the future peasant."
The first years passed quickly. It's time for the baby and the kindergarten. Mom, of course, is worried. You know, the kindergarten is like a primitive jungle for children. Everyone is running, pushing, cars are taken away from each other. A flock of little animals, in a word. There they can offend. And my mother's son is very kind, vulnerable. A little something - immediately cries: "Mom, mom, they took my toy!" A loving and caring mother, of course, will regret it. But dad has much less understanding on this score: “Dry your tears! By golly, like a girl! Well, stop whining and go give back! " he says. You need to raise a man out of him, right?
The next evening, the mother puts her beloved son in the crib. But before he can reach his bedroom, the baby stands in front of her in tears, with eyes big with fear: "Mommy, I'm scared, turn on the light!" Dad, of course, is indignant again: “Well, what a crybaby ?! Well, can a future man be afraid of the dark?"
Stereotypes about masculine and feminine
Perhaps you have seen such children. Certain ideas about the "correct", "normal" behavior of girls and boys are firmly established in society. It is perfectly acceptable for girls to publicly show their emotions and cry.
At the same time, such behavior is not just not encouraged by boys, but is often severely condemned by the close environment. The image of a real man for us consists of such qualities as strength, courage, self-confidence, courage, steadfastness, firmness, fearlessness.
And emotionality, vulnerability, dreaminess - we attribute all this to female character traits. Following these established ideas, we bring up our children, not even suspecting that we can be wrong.
Who has tears close?
At the training "System-Vector Psychology" Yuri Burlan says that we are all born different not only in form, but also in inner mental content. So there are people among us with the greatest emotional amplitude. "System-vector psychology" calls them carriers of the visual vector. The term "vector" refers to a group of innate desires and properties that determines the thinking and perception of a person, as well as the scenario of his life.
Children with a visual vector are easy to scare, they are very impressionable and suggestible. Their emotionality is orders of magnitude higher than that of people who do not have a visual vector. And this applies to both girls and boys. They also say about them "make an elephant out of a fly" or "fear has big eyes."
They are so sensitive and emotional that they are not able to offend even a mosquito and, moreover, harm other children, for example, starting a fight. Pushing, biting, showing their strength and even just defending themselves is not about them.
Empathize with others instead of fearing for yourself
As they say at the training "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan, if you instill in a visual child the skill to empathize, to bring his emotion of fear out, that is, to fear not for himself, but for another, then he will never in the future experience all kinds of fears and phobias. The fears inside him will turn into compassion for other people.
This skill is best instilled through reading fairy tales, the characters of which evoke compassion for themselves. The child experiences all the adventures of fairy-tale heroes in himself and thus brings his fears out through tears of empathy for another. After such a positive emotional release, he can easily fall asleep, without fear of the darkness or nightmares. By gaining the ability to compassion, the child will, over time, strive to constantly direct his emotions to empathize with other people, and not demand attention and self-pity, crying for any reason.
So men cry too?
Potentially, people with a visual vector are cultural figures, creative personalities, actors, artists, singers. It is always pleasant to look at such people, when they are developed and realized in society. They are kind, sympathetic, emotional, loving. But what about the fact that tears are close?
For any visual person, both girls and boys, tears of empathy are absolutely natural and even necessary. This is how they manifest themselves at the peak of their emotions. After all, you must admit that it is difficult to say, for example, about Sergei Bezrukov, who reads Pushkin's poems with a stream of tears on stage, that he is a crybaby, weak-willed, a rag or not a real man. Even somehow the language does not turn.
Sensually developed visual men are always capable of a real great feeling of love. But only if in childhood they were able to instill the skill to take their emotions out. Otherwise, remaining in a state of fear, they can remain crybaby for life, each time throwing tantrums demanding attention, self-pity.
Raising happy children
Nature endows us with different desires, different vectors. If we develop in ourselves the properties given to us and realize them, then we get great pleasure from this, a feeling of joy and happiness. If we do not follow our true inner motives and follow the wrong path, then we suffer, we feel dissatisfied in life.
It's the same with raising children. If we guide the child in development according to his innate mental properties, then this creates the most favorable conditions for the formation of a happy and fulfilled person in the future.
Perhaps you saw a visual vector in your child and would like to learn more about how best to develop it. We invite you to the free online lectures of Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology". Register by the link:
