First love. Innocent looks and passionate kisses
My first love. The first madness and the feeling that I can do anything. That we in this world are gods who are allowed to do anything. The sky smiles at us, and warm hearts are beating in our chest in unison. I and he - and no barriers, only an endless cloudless future with a bright sun overhead!
My first love. The first madness and the feeling that I can do anything. That we in this world are gods who are allowed to do anything. The sky smiles at us, and warm hearts are beating in our chest in unison. I and he - and no barriers, only an endless cloudless future with a bright sun overhead!
My first love. My first shame and my cheeks flushed with shyness. The first awkward kisses and constrained movements. An exciting hug. Wadded feet and "butterflies" in the stomach - from his gaze and touch.
Thoughts-thoughts-thoughts. Only about him. On small scraps of notebook sheets. Pencil on the desk. Marker on the wall. Lipstick on his lips …
Everything fades into the background: parents, studies, friends. Nothing matters as much as he is alone. Before his eyes only his lips, eyes, hands. I ran away from school, not thinking about the consequences: spit! She slipped away from her parents, piling up fables. I want love, not lessons, boring books, and parenting notation. I want - and I will!
When love comes
Having fallen in love for the first time, we are blinded by this feeling, are largely spontaneous and subject to inner desires. Including the desire to be close to the one, thanks to whom there is a magical feeling of love … mutual love.
It colors our life with amazingly bright colors. It fills our entire being, displacing everything that used to be a cause for sadness or grief, illuminating the most bleak aspects of our life.
Perhaps we even somewhere idealize the hero of our novel, comparing him with our favorite romantic characters from beautiful love books or sensual melodramas. But feeling this first delightful feeling, called youthful or teenage love, we are ready to love our chosen one without looking back. Without regard to his education, financial well-being, bad habits or grumpy mother.
Our body in love is a laboratory of a mad chemist: testosterone, luliberin, endorphin, oxytocin are raging in our blood. They mix in bizarre combinations, causing complex chemical reactions in the body, and we, faced with such a feeling for the first time in our life, cannot cope with it. Feelings of love overwhelm, and we see everything in a slightly distorted, pink light.
But chemistry is a consequence, the response of our body to what we call love. To that "shot" that our visual vector, which has developed to a certain level, makes. He needed to go a long way, and to have time to do it before the end of the transitional age: the path from fear for life to the need to create strong emotional ties, to sympathy and empathy for his neighbor (this is the ideal). Not yet associated with sexuality, the first love sometimes becomes the strongest, most emotional of all subsequent experiences. And also - the purest and most romantic.
When love comes for the first time, we believe that all this is with us - seriously and for a long time. And we are eagerly awaiting reciprocity.
But what if there is no reciprocity?
Unrequited love and universal grief
How hard it is to believe that this happened to me. "Incomplete"! Unrequited love! My universal grief and endless torment. The world has collapsed!
I tried, but I can't live without him, I can't breathe without him, I can't feel without him! All this without him brings almost physical pain, and I want to cover my mouth with my hands so that no one hears how much and stupidly I love him!
"White light has converged on you …"
It seems that the gramophone needle in my head is already half worn out. I live only with dreams and hopes for our new meeting. I replay everything that happened between us in my memory, think out what was not, make plans to "capture" my beloved heart - and I hope. I hope that soon he will understand what mistake he made. He will understand, repent and come …
The dangers of tragic love
We, people with visual vector, are great dreamers and visionaries. Still completely inexperienced, who do not know how to understand people, we often choose the object of our school love - and think out, "draw" on it something that is not even in it. Not on purpose. We simply cannot do otherwise.
Until a certain moment we live in these emotions, build castles in the air and draw inspiration from them for our feelings. It lives and "feeds" on emotions, but one day they become few. "I want more! I want reciprocity! " - trumpets an insatiable heart. He needs to share his feelings and receive feedback, it is unbearable for him to keep it to himself - these are the features of the visual vector.
Naive, inexperienced in matters of love, we go to our chosen one (or chosen one). And we literally "dump" our immeasurable feeling on him, which at the same moment turns from a beautiful youthful love into unrequited love.
"After all, if I love so much, it cannot be that he does not love too!"
And what is the chosen one? He sees our burning eyes, our strange behavior, hears words of love - and, unable to cope with the weight of the feeling overturned on him, he is frightened, shies away, twirls his finger at his temple. Rejects and avoids us with his love. But we do not realize that it is impossible to throw our emotions head on like this. Love takes time, it will not flare up in response to a flurry of emotions. Especially if the chosen one does not have a visual vector (or it is not sufficiently developed).
The first suffering from unrequited love brings great torment. Sometimes we fall into emotional dependence, which does not let go for years: we reread our diary dedicated to unhappy love, look for “random” meetings with the object of our claims, call him and write letters, knock his doorsteps, swing ourselves with love melodramas and hold on to these experiences as a source of at least some emotion. At the same time, we literally sit in a swamp, not developing and spending precious years chewing on failed relationships.
Sometimes these feelings develop into tragic love. Loudly demanding attention to ourselves, we put on public shows on the topic of suicide: we pretend to cut veins, tighten the rope around our neck, stand on the edge of the windowsill, swallow pills. We blackmail the object of love so that love becomes mutual. Even in such a dishonest way.
Alas, some of us do not calculate our strength - and fly out of windows, pull the ropes too tight, get too close to the veins, swallow too many pills …
Although they do not want to die at all: we are spectators, we love to live more than anything else. However, once imagining a colorful fantasy about how friends, parents and - most importantly, will grieve after our death! - our already former love, how they will regret and be killed for us, - we are going to implement our "brilliant" plan, which should reason all who give us insufficient love.
Feelings of love and being in love
As young people taking our first steps in the search for real feelings, we often mistake emotional love for true love. We do not understand that love is not euphoria and not an explosion of emotions, but a calmer and more sustained feeling, composed of many components. Among them, the main one is the desire, first of all, to feel and hear another, and not oneself.
But we all go through first love, make the first mistakes and fill the first bumps of misunderstanding. This is normal. It is only important that we have no reason to slip into emotional blackmail, which sometimes leads to tragedy, or into long-term emotional dependence. So that we have no reason to flutter from falling in love to falling in love, not having the strength to stay in a relationship for a long time.
These reasons originate in our childhood and the period of growing up, when we either develop or do not develop the visual vector. Yes, this is the responsibility of our parents, a coincidence of circumstances and sometimes factors beyond our control. But even if there was not enough development and we cannot go back in time and fix everything, we are still able to reach such a level of understanding of our nature, which will help us in the future to find and build the very ideal love that we have dreamed of since childhood. This level of understanding can be reached at the training of Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology".
And then it will no longer be the love of adolescents, naive and often without continuation. It will be love, giving, mutual, lasting, which will last not for a month, not for a year or three - it will last for many decades.
