Why is the child lying?
Indeed, there are children who easily tell lies. And there are those who, under no circumstances, are not capable of twisting their souls. Why? And how to get honesty from a child?
You are tired of the fact that your child lies, fidgets and dodges, and when you try to punish him, you find that he starts to lie even more! Your outrage at this behavior has reached the limit. But no methods of influence help. It’s good if he doesn’t start to steal, otherwise it’s possible …
Indeed, there are children who easily tell lies. And there are those who, under no circumstances, are not capable of twisting their souls. Why? And how to get honesty from a child?
Why do children lie?
The System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan will help to understand this difficult issue. It turns out that the reasons for this behavior lie in the peculiarities of the child's psyche.
Nimble child
Most often, children with a skin vector cause complaints about lying. Naturally agile and agile. Fidgets are light on the rise. They love to compete and win! These children easily adapt to any changing conditions, flexible in body and soul. And they are guided by the only principle - benefit / benefit. So, a skin child, without hesitation, can tell a lie - adjust to the situation in order to get what he wants. In a sense, this is natural for him.
By nature, this is a getter, from the very first years he grabs and drags everything that comes his way, easily tells a lie. This does not mean that he is bad, it's just that these are the original properties with which he was born. And he needs to help him learn to limit himself, follow certain rules in order to grow into a responsible person, leader and organizer, engineer or lawmaker, able to obey and obey.
Such children need to be explained what is allowed and what is not - they understand the language of logic and reasoned restrictions. If we punish them and do it wrong, then the cases of lies do not become less frequent, on the contrary, they become more frequent! First of all, it is about physical impact (beating) and humiliation ("In whom did you become such! You are not capable of anything!").
Feeling safe and secure
The fact is that while children are growing up, the most important condition for their normal development is a sense of security and safety. And they get it at home, primarily from their mother. When parents physically punish a child or verbally humiliate him, he loses his sense of security and safety. At the same time, a child with a skin vector reacts to this in a certain way.
Such a child's skin is more sensitive than that of others. When we punish him physically, he is in unbearable pain! In such conditions, he is forced to defend himself in the only way available to him - he adapts! That is, with the threat of punishment - he will lie and dodge in order to avoid punishment! And if the rules of behavior in the family do not change, this scenario is simply fixed as the only one possible for him. If you want to survive, be able to spin. And lie!
This habit prevents them from developing their natural potential and fully realizing themselves in adulthood. They seem to be inhibited in development. Later, even as an adult, he will feel the desires of the initial level of development - to steal and deceive. This can be easily avoided if you understand the characteristics of the child from the point of view of the SVP and use the correct approach to his upbringing. Even the rewards and punishments for children with different mental characteristics (vectors) are different …
The truth is different. Other children
But there are other reasons for telling lies. For example, children with an oral vector (they are less common and make up 5% of all children) are brilliant storytellers, they talk a lot and not always to the point. They love to kiss, they often lisp.
They are the possessors of a special verbal intelligence. Speaking is essential for their development. They really do not fall silent for a minute, and for them it does not matter at all whether at least part of what they told was true, the main thing is that it is interesting, and everyone sits and listens with their mouths open. And this is what they need!
But children with a sound vector are uncommunicative, often immersed in their thoughts and detached from others. Although they are not liars, even they are not telling the truth, and for a very specific reason - so that they quickly get behind them.
- Tell us about your drawing lessons?
- Yes, there were no classes today …
When to worry? And what if the child is lying?
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows that the reasons why children tell lies are completely different. As are our children. Power and authority cannot solve anything here. It is important to understand whether such behavior of the child is normal (and you just need to direct his development in the right direction) or is this the first bell that education is going in the wrong direction. Not towards the development of the child's abilities, but towards the suppression of his natural skills, which ultimately leads to the emergence of complexes and negative life scenarios. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to understand this, clearly showing the innate characteristics of children and the specifics of their upbringing. As a result of the training, many parents were able to solve a variety of problems of upbringing and found a common language with the child:
We sincerely wish our children happiness. Sometimes we just don't know what our actions lead to. After all, we were brought up like that - and nothing, we grew up as normal people. This is certainly true, only the volume of the mental in our children today is such that they are already like a different species:
Here is what child psychologists say about this and what results they have after studying System-Vector Psychology:
In a rapidly developing world, it is very important to understand the abilities, properties of the child, so as not to harm him by ignorance and incorrect upbringing in the old-fashioned way, to help him realize himself as much as possible in the new society. If you are interested in understanding the characteristics of your child and learn more about the new approach to education, you can visit the free online lectures on Systemic Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan. Registration by reference: