Promiscuous sex. The road over the abyss in search of the meaning of being
Once, being ready to take the last step from the bridge, she indifferently got into a stopped car with cheerful guys. The desire to live did not return, but death was no longer so attractive. For some time, this method of returning to reality gave tolerable results …
Light makeup, plunging neckline, high heels. What nonsense! You might think this is fundamentally changing something. But it is generally accepted that it is sexy. Yes, he also asked to wear a shorter skirt.
Another try to just be
They met online. Word for word, he talked about his fantasies, she kept up the conversation. So we agreed to meet. With him and two other friends. By and large, she could hardly answer why she agreed to go. It was obvious that she was waiting for a meeting with people whom she did not even consider as people. Animals preoccupied with primitive desires. Well, okay. A serious conversation was not planned, and "playing a fool" is not the first time.
On the other hand, she did not see any other ways to feel herself just a man, just a woman in the most physiological sense. Feel your body at least a little alive, and your mind - at least briefly silent. Meditations and breathing practices for a long time have not given pacification and did not stop thought, on the contrary, they aroused hatred for the enthusiasm of their adepts. Regular sex seemed boring and stupid. And so - some kind of entertainment, some kind of emotion.
And what else? Work, study, friends, hobbies. Attempts to build relationships, family. A life brought to full automatism, without aspirations and almost without emotions. And thoughts, thoughts, thoughts … More and more often - about the meaninglessness of human life in general and in the first place.
Once, being ready to take the last step from the bridge, she indifferently got into a stopped car with cheerful guys. The desire to live did not return, but death was no longer so attractive. For some time, this method of returning to reality gave tolerable results.
Searching for reality meaning
Various reasons push a woman to seek the thrill of sex. For some it is a masochistic scenario, for others it is an attempt to get rid of fears. And for some it is a way to experience reality: "I am."
Alas, instructions for using one's own life at birth are not issued. But the peculiarities of the worldview of any person can be revealed by the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan. Our heroine is the owner of a special set of psychological properties and desires - a sound vector. Nature has endowed her with a unique gift - abstract thinking, the ability to cognize what lies beyond the boundaries of the physical world.
Whatever other vectors a person possesses, the presence of a sound vector will always dictate its own conditions. And one of the most striking manifestations of this vector is the feeling of the illusory nature of the physical world. At the same time, each sound engineer feels that there is something else "beyond the bounds". Something unconscious, carrying the Meaning of Everything. And being disappointed in the search, he decides: "there is no point." Falls into depression.
The sound search is endless and limitless. He pushes people to study the exact sciences, create new technologies, and solve unsolvable mathematical problems. He also creates religions and ideas of the destruction of life. And he makes the boys and girls who were not lucky enough to find the filling of this gigantic abyss of desire for Meaning in useful activity, to look for something to distract from the painful emptiness. Some plunge into narcotic illusions, completely depriving themselves of the chance for knowledge. Others kill the sensitivity of the ear with loud rock music - the main erogenous zone for the owners of the sound vector. Someone supports the idea of terrorism.
And someone lives in an eternal search for extreme. So that on the edge. Not just adrenaline: higher, deeper, further … Without a chance for insurance.
Sexuality on the other side of sound
The sound vector itself, as Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology says, is asexual. The sound engineer does not identify his I with his body, his needs are secondary for him. If it were not for a aching body, the sound engineer would refuse food. But with a sound vector in a person, there is always at least one vector that sets the libido. Therefore, despite the varying degrees of suppression of "worldly" desires, they still quietly whisper about themselves. And when the sound search is satisfied, the desires of other vectors are manifested more actively: suddenly the girl wants to get married or thinks that it’s time to move up the career ladder.
To some extent, the desires of other vectors will determine in which direction the sound engineer will go in the hope of acquiring meaning. In addition, even being depressed, he remembers what happened in life and pleasure. And he is looking for him. Or he is trying to reproduce something that previously caused strong feelings, even negative ones. Fear, pain, or physical fatigue.
Women sometimes go on sexual adventures trying various forms of relationships. Such, not long-term or one-time, connections do not imply the activity of the sound person herself, she completely surrenders the body to the power of partners, like a thing. This is how she feels it. Several hours of "passion" bring complete internal devastation and physical exhaustion. There are no desires, no thoughts, there is not even hatred for the world. Not so good, but at least not bad.
Surrogates eliminate search for a short time. You have to search again and again. What will happen next? Perhaps she will meet a man whom she will call God, and then she will live with this love for some time. The safest option for her life. But also a dead end.
From "on the brink" to "no boundaries"
No matter how anyone resists, nature is not wrong. You are asked to learn the meaning of being - be kind. You won't get any pleasure from another business, no matter how hard you try. And someone else was born to build houses, he has no time for higher matters. To each his own.
The owner of the sound vector will toil until he begins to fulfill his natural role. Of course, this is more difficult than identifying more primitive desires in oneself. Of course, this requires some mental effort. But, firstly, nature has taken care of sufficient intelligence for this purpose. Secondly, the pleasure that will be rewarded with effort is incomparable with anything.
The state of being "on the edge", familiar to most of the sound experts, can easily become an awareness of the infinity of the world and the possibilities of one's existence in it. One thought separates the tightness of a hateful body from the feeling of complete unity with the universe. Only a sound engineer is capable of this. It is this Thought that he seeks, clothed in all sorts of forms, continuously chasing millions of "wrong" thoughts.
But, in fact, the role of the sound vector, no matter how metaphysical it may seem, is absolutely real and presupposes the most real actions in the real world. Backed up by thinking. And it all begins with knowing yourself. Only the awareness of one's desires given by nature helps to find in life exactly what is needed, without replacing real pleasure with surrogates. This is what many sound engineers have already managed to do.
The first steps in knowing yourself and others can be done already at the free nightly online training on Systemic Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan. Registration via the link: