How to stop being jealous: recommendations of a systems psychologist
I always start to get jealous when I think that the other can "surpass" me and run across my path. I really am ready to fight for my own, it's true. Later I already understand how much nonsense I said, but at the moment when I “cover” with feelings - I just can't do anything, I am carried. In general, can you do something so as not to be jealous?
Jealousy … An agonizing feeling, right? It gnaws at the heart and tears the last nerves of the most jealous, and is capable of destroying any, the strongest relationship. How to stop being jealous so as not to torment yourself and your loved one?
Very often, the reasons why people are jealous of their partner is a mystery to themselves. You understand that your jealousy has become the starting point for more than one scandal, but there is nothing you can do about it. To stop being jealous is simply beyond your strength.
It is in this state that the girl Masha is now, sitting opposite me in an armchair. Hands nervously fiddle with her purse, her large, beautiful eyes are full of tears.
- I don't know how to stop being jealous of him, I don't know what to do with it! Every time another girl looks at him, it pisses me off incredibly. But what is there … Even when all sorts of "hens" like him on social networks. I just want to say: "Take your paws, he is mine, okay ?!" I did just that once, by the way. And in response - a scandal. It turned out that the head of his department was noted on the general corporate photo. Probably, being so jealous is already abnormal? Maybe I should go to the doctor at all?
Psychologist's comment:
It always seems to us that no one else has such problems as ours. But this is not at all the case, and you should not rush to the doctor. In fact, the feeling of jealousy is familiar to every owner of the skin vector, and there are about 24% of the total population of the Earth. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains that skin people are competitive and ambitious, they strive to be leaders, first in everything. And then suddenly doubts about their own superiority: "Suddenly some" chicken "turned out to be cooler than me, and he prefers it?" No wonder you are jealous. In addition, for the owners of the skin vector, its property is very important and valuable. And we involuntarily transfer our values to the field of relationships: "He is mine." And the one who encroached on my property, let him blame himself! Is that so?
- Yes exactly! I always start to get jealous when I think that the other can "surpass" me and run across my path. I really am ready to fight for my own, it's true. But this is not so bad. And how to stop going crazy about this? I always have obsessive pictures of treason in my eyes! I ride a trolleybus - and I shudder when I see a couple on the street, and the guy's silhouette looks like mine. I think: "Well, that's it, he's already walking arm in arm with someone." I jumped out at the nearest stop - and this is not him at all. Believe it or not - I even insert the key into the keyhole, and my heart beats like a hare. What if he is tumbling there with the other now in our bed?..
Psychologist's comment:
Why don't I believe it? Such pictures in all details are drawn by your incredible imaginative thinking. According to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, the owners of the visual vector are naturally endowed with this property. In one person, there can be several vectors at once. For example, both skin and visual. And it turns out that you are no longer just jealous, but also mentally draw pictures of imaginary betrayal. And they are so bright and colorful that sometimes they seem more real than what they really are. And visual people are very emotional and impressionable. When they are jealous, they experience a whole storm of feelings, and it can be difficult to cope with it, right?
- Oh, not that word! Later I already understand how much nonsense I said, but at the moment when I “cover” with feelings - I just can't do anything, I am carried. In general, can you do something so as not to be jealous? Our relationship went downhill, he even invited me to leave, so these scenes of jealousy tortured him! I want to stop being jealous of him! She only kept what she promised, so to go to a psychologist.
Psychologist's comment:
Well, since it still kept him, it means that there is a desire to preserve your relationship. And this is quite possible. Indeed, as the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says, it is the woman who sets the tone in paired relationships, a lot depends on her condition. When we are stressed or lacking in any vector, it is instantly reflected even in the scent of a woman. And the man still unconsciously catches it. So even though your mouth is sewn up and shut up - but as long as the internal state leaves much to be desired, then the relationship will not change. During the training, the woman's condition changes dramatically, she gets a balanced, harmonious state of health. And she becomes able to trust her man completely, stops being jealous of him. And trust, according to systems thinking, is the main key to building a happy relationship in a couple. And our listeners have a lot of such results. Here, look:
While Masha was studying the results, I watched her with a feeling of deep joy. It was pleasant to see how a person’s tension goes away, how tears disappear from her beautiful eyes. Saying goodbye, she herself smiled back at me. For me, this was the best result of my work - to know that one more person will get rid of the pangs of jealousy, another couple will receive a ticket to a happy life together.
Because Masha is going to training. And you? Register for free introductory lectures.
