The psychology of love. Bitter girls for sour boys
Looking back at the morality of modern society, one can argue for a long time what is more valuable - fleeting, changeable, bright and emotional love or love of two, which is for life. However, few people dare to dispute the amazing beauty of the feeling that the two managed to preserve and increase over time, while remaining faithful to each other.
Looking back at the morality of modern society, one can argue for a long time what is more valuable - fleeting, changeable, bright and emotional love or love of two, which is for life. However, few people dare to dispute the amazing beauty of the feeling that the two managed to preserve and increase over time, while remaining faithful to each other.
Here are the young ones standing at the altar. They swear eternal love to each other. What is this - stupidity, lies, naivety? Not at all: keeping this promise is an adult, conscious, truly human act. And in order to understand why this is so, you need to understand the psychology of love and falling in love from the point of view of systemic knowledge.
The difference between love and being in love
How is love different from falling in love? As already mentioned in the previous article, falling in love is just a short-term outburst, a surge of emotions and the release of hormones into the blood, characteristic of the owners of the visual vector, a feeling mixed with natural attraction and flavored with violent visual imagination.
What is love? The philosophers of antiquity, poets of different eras, the best psychologists and physicians of centuries tried to define this feeling. Someone calls true love a strong spiritual attachment, someone - mutual responsibility and the desire to understand each other, someone - just the desire to live their whole life side by side with one person.
It is not so easy to give a single, exhaustive definition of love, because there are many sides to this feeling, by keeping silent about which we will create an incomplete, inaccurate, and somewhere even incorrect definition. Each of us has his own vision of this feeling: one admits that love can turn life around, make us better, and the other will shrug his shoulders and say that there is no love - there is only attraction.
Yes, I must admit that love is a feeling that is not understandable to everyone. They write books about the psychology of love, not suspecting that they need to be addressed only to people with a visual vector. The vector, who once created this love, without which he cannot live, live happily and fully.
What is the difference between love and being in love? Falling in love is without commitment, without responsibility, without calm immersion in the problems and personality of another. Falling in love gives satisfaction from the very fact of swinging emotions, from jumps in the amplitude of the visual vector: from the fear of losing what is, to pleasure spreading over the body with warmth.
Love is giving. The desire to do something for the sake of a loved one, to protect him, to protect, understand and help. Here the word “responsibility” could be attributed, but in love you do not feel responsibility: you just do something for the sake of another, are responsible for him - and all this is taken for granted.
Speaking about love and falling in love, the differences of which are much deeper than in mere external manifestations, one cannot do without knowledge of the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan. There, among other things, the mechanisms of the emergence of love are revealed. After all, if this is not understood, there will be a false feeling that someone is capable only of falling in love, and someone is only capable of deep perfect love.
Love in terms of systemic knowledge
Exciting, passionate, quivering or tender love can only be experienced by people with a visual vector. The rest rather rationalize the relationship in a couple and explain the reason for their attraction (thinking that they are talking about love) based on their views on life, which are dictated by a specific set of vectors. So, people with a skin vector speak of love as a partnership, beneficial or not. The owners of the anal vector mean friendship, equality and brotherhood under love relationships. And the carriers of each vector have such rationalizations. And only the spectators need crazy emotions, thanks to which they get their pleasure. And it doesn't matter at what age the spectator is. His need for love does not go away over the years, forcing him to get feelings on sites such as www pc pensioneru ru, if there is no one to flirt with in life.
The psychology of love of a person with a visual vector is a whole encyclopedia of the development of feelings: from the most important and greatest fear for one's life to perfect, giving love not to one person, but to those who need help and compassion. Moreover, such an encyclopedia of emotions can be observed in one person - as he grows and develops.
Visual love, as Yuri Burlan shows at the training "System-vector psychology", is a feeling that is the opposite of the fear of death. We, the modern owners of the visual vector, like our ancestors, are born with the ability to experience powerful fear in the blink of an eye (which once saved the lives of fellow tribesmen). Unable to kill and stand up for themselves, our visual ancestors saved themselves, seeing the frightening danger in time.
Today this ability - to be scared quickly and powerfully - is not needed in our life. But we still need experiences, emotional swings, which are best satisfied in compassion, in worrying about another person, in love. That is why we are so amorous, compassionate, impressionable.
The feeling of compassionate love is the highest level of development of the visual vector, any owner of which can reach this level before the end of adolescence.
But what about those who cannot boast of such a level of development? Fluttering from love to love? Take pleasure in public hysterics? To experience love at a distance, the psychology of which again refers us to the fantasizing visual vector? Arrange scandals and suicide attempts, acting worthy of being shown on the big stage? Not at all.
If there is a visual vector, there is the ability to love or at least fall in love - there is something to work on. Work on yourself in fleeting hobbies, work on yourself as a couple, so that instead of disappointment, boredom and regret that you made a mistake again in the chosen one, you feel amazing joy that you manage to give in love.
The joy of true love
The psychology of love and relationships becomes understandable when you see clear distinctions between mature, lasting feeling and trying to escape into a dream. Falling in love is like a small paradise on earth: partners who are in love with each other have no worries, they do not need food and sleep, and the space surrounding them is closed on their feelings.
True love is different - it sees another person. In love, this person seems the way we want to see him. We do not love him, but our own idea of him. Isn't this heaven?
But no, this is not heaven at all. Because paradise is endless and falling in love is finite. In love, however, everything is different: it cannot be short-term, accompanied by resentment and boredom. Love is a sacrificial feeling, bestowing, all-forgiving.
Born between two, such love changes both: partners can open up both for themselves and for each other. In such a union there is no place for the desire to reshape a loved one for himself, to make him comfortable and close to his ideal. But there is patience, understanding and the ability to accept a loved one as he really is. Of course, love is effort, work that ultimately rewards.
A lot of videos have been filmed on the topic of the psychology of love, tons of books and popular science articles have been written. However, all this will become unnecessary as soon as the understanding comes that true love is:
• a real look at a partner, devoid of illusions, but enriched with knowledge of the features of his set of vectors;
• the desire to build caring relationships that you want to improve (and you know how!) Every new day;
• understanding that the desires of your other half are as important as your own;
• knowing your own weaknesses, thanks to which you do not create conflict situations in a couple, do not transfer guilt and your resentment to your loved one;
• the realization that true love is hard, but rewarding work.
