Resuscitation of family relations. When love is not enough …
We will be happy all our lives, because we understand each other this way! Well, that's it, now you don't have to worry about family life and live happily ever after. And a year later … three … seven … twenty … - "What happened to us?", "He became completely different!", "She has changed beyond recognition", "Our relationship faded", "How to keep the family?"
We got married … What's next?
Wedding, honeymoon, life together, grandiose plans for the future … We are sure that the person who is next to us is our soul mate. We will be happy all our lives, because we understand each other this way!
We are very lucky to have met. Well, that's it, now you don't have to worry about family life and live happily ever after.
And a year later … three … seven … twenty … - "What happened to us?", "He became completely different!", "She has changed beyond recognition", "Our relationship faded", "How to keep the family?"
What was it, all these years? Self-deception? Trying to wishful thinking? Or do people really change over time, and feelings go away, leaving only irritation, mutual claims, reproaches and resentments?
And what should such a couple do? To endure and pull the strap of a painful coexistence or decide to break up in order to find really "the same" or "the very one"? Or maybe there is a way to correct family relationships? Is there a correct decision in this case?
Whoever the spouses turn to for help in family relationships, be they friends, parents or a certified psychologist on family relations, their situation will be assessed by that person "through himself", through the prism of his own values, priorities, way of thinking and views on family life.
But it is possible to diagnose family relationships, as well as their treatment, only from the inside, through the mutual efforts of both spouses, and it is not at all necessary to devote anyone to all the details of your family life.
The patient is more alive than dead
Thousands of people are looking for answers to their questions by typing into a search engine: "family relationships articles" or "how to maintain family relationships." If you still need these answers, if you are ready for real steps towards each other, if you strive to figure out and understand what happened to your family, and intend to try to return mutual understanding and joy of life together, then you have every chance of success.
The psychology of family and family relations from the point of view of system-vector psychoanalysis is based on the exact mechanisms and principles of coexistence of two different, but capable of ideally complementing each other, complexly organized personalities - modern men and women.
For every woman, without exception, no matter how complex "lock" she may seem at first glance, there is an ideal man-key who is able to reveal her potential. Such a couple can become the embodiment of the concept of "happy union".
We are very different, our inner worlds are different, like day and night, but the most different are those who decide to marry.
We see completely different things, looking at the same object, we have different values and priorities, we want from ourselves and from others what they often cannot give us. But the main thing is that we are not aware of half of our true desires, but we feel these shortages and suffer from them. We call everything a crisis 3, 5, 7 … years of marriage, we study the psychology of family crises, we read mantras, we go to church, we find a sea of information on the Web, but it seems that “all this has already happened somewhere” and no one knows the correct ones answers.
Having completely different perceptions of the world, we demand from our partners what they, in principle, cannot give. We take offense, reproach, get annoyed, get angry, flare up, scandal, still not understanding each other. We can even make up and live on, pretending that everything is fine, but we still cannot understand each other.
3 year warranty card
The fact that we met and decided to stay together was dictated by our pheromones, or rather, the pheromones of attraction. The man and woman felt a mutual desire for sex. This is precisely the state of falling in love when no arguments of others work, when no one except her (him) becomes necessary at all and nothing in the world can distract from thoughts about him (her), no matter how hard he tries. The mind is disconnected and de-energized. In my head there is one continuous "I want", and resistance is useless.
Naturally, nature is stronger. Thus, it ensures the continuation of the human race, the birth of offspring. This was the case in ancient times, and it still works today. But three years are enough for the birth and rise to the feet (in the literal sense) of the "fruits of love". The primitive 3-year-old man is already able to run after the flock, perform the simplest work and develop further independently, without the obligatory help of both parents. That's it, the action of pheromones ends, nature has done its job, and then whatever you want. Such is the primitive psychology of marital relations.
For many millennia, such a mechanism for regulating gender relations has overgrown with a thick layer of the most diverse rationalizations: from extinct feelings to everyday problems, from numerous crises of all ages to changes in family relations after the birth of a child. On the same basis, many methods for diagnosing family relationships have grown and been pounded, trying to adjust each individual couple to a specific, albeit flexible standard and solve its problems with ready-made recipes for happiness.
The child was born, let's get acquainted!
The period of falling in love is coming to an end, the pheromone veil falls from the eyes, and we are finally able to see our partner as he really is. More than half of the cases, unfortunately, this picture does not please us.
Yes, changes in relationships are inevitable, but is it a crisis? What is the next stage in family relationships?
At the present stage of human development, in the cutaneous phase, when the institution of marriage loses its former value, the question of how to preserve family relations arises less and less. In most cases, the problem is solved quickly and easily: divorce and the search for a new partner.
If he and she, realizing that the relationship is crumbling, still try to find a way out of the situation and save the situation, the only truly effective tool for resolving the crisis issues of family life becomes "System-Vector Psychology".
The training "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan allows you to understand your partner as yourself, to see, perhaps for the first time, the true reasons for his actions, to realize what he is striving for, what he expects from you and what he can give you, how he perceives your union, what turns him on, and what exactly the opposite.
Any tragedy, crisis or conflict ceases to be such, when their real causes are known, then the ways out of the situation become obvious.
Why does he put work first, forgetting about family problems?
When will he finally start making money with his knowledge and professionalism?
Why is such a recently seductive wife no longer interested as a woman?
Systems thinking, which is formed in the process of passing the training "System-vector psychology", makes it easy to answer a million of such questions in the everyday life of any couple. Every little thing, every detail of your family life, which used to cause irritation, misunderstanding, rejection, becomes obvious, easily and naturally realized by you yourself without any outside help.
Systemic vector psychology of marriage is a new look at your family from the inside.
Harmonization of family relations is not a new dress or a bouquet of flowers, it is the perception of the psychic of his partner as his own. This is an absolutely accurate understanding of the mechanisms of his thinking, his values, priorities and principles, and already on the basis of this - the construction of new relationships, where not sex is at the forefront, but emotional connection, spiritual unity, intellectual union, the natural continuation of which is intimacy.
Communication at such a high level is able to bring partners much more powerful and complete pleasure in all spheres of coexistence, since it is this kind of union that corresponds to the level of temperament of a modern person, who has long ceased to be just an Erect Man, turning into a Cultural Man on the way to a Spiritual Man.
A real tragedy is the prospect of living your whole life with someone and never getting to know him to the end, to exist next to a stranger, not knowing why you are still together, although you bring each other suffering.
How to maintain a relationship with your husband?
Allow yourself to be happy, allow yourself to love each other for who you really are. You must understand yourself, in it and together carry out your test of family relationships. Get to know each other again. And be surprised to learn how obvious everything is simple. And then … fall in love again - finally and irrevocably - with all your heart, soul, mind and body.
Read in the following articles:
He doesn't want me, or Why do men have a headache
About love at first sight and at first smell
