Feeling safe and secure. Under my mother's wing
A mountain of toys, millions of cartoons and sweets or a scooter-bike-rollers and an iPhone in your pocket - is this child's happiness? Or maybe it's all about educational toys, early developmental methods, several tutors, a sports section and a private school?
Happy childhood - what is it like?
A mountain of toys, millions of cartoons and sweets or a scooter-bike-rollers and an iPhone in your pocket - is this child's happiness? Or maybe it's all about educational toys, early developmental methods, several tutors, a sports section and a private school?
Each parent is ready to make every conceivable and unthinkable effort to make his child feel happy. Why, then, in the nicest families, the most diligent parents sometimes grow up complete social maladapters or even marginal individuals?
In addition, you can often hear from mothers something like: "I know that he can do better, but does not want to" or "I see that she is capable of more, but is lazy." We know that the potential of the child is much higher, but how to develop it correctly? How to teach to use inborn talents? How to direct, interest, maybe it is worth making or creating certain conditions? What exactly depends on us, parents?
What is the role of mom, and what is the role of dad, and how not to outplay her?
Today, more than ever, each new generation is too different from the previous one, their strength of desire is much higher than ours, so it seems to us that they grow up faster, that they are different, that they are in a hurry to live and that, apparently, they do not really need their parents. as we needed.
The latest achievements in the field of human psychology - the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan - reveal the mechanisms of the development of innate psychological properties, allowing you to understand the most difficult, at first glance, child and create the very optimal conditions that we used to call "happy childhood" and help the child will learn to enjoy his life.
May there always be mom!
The role of a mother in the life of any baby can hardly be overestimated. She is a source of warmth, water and food, she is the quintessence of love, kindness, joy, entertainment and pleasures, but most importantly, only a mother is able to provide a child with a special feeling, which is a guarantee of the adequate development of any innate properties of a baby: a feeling of security and safety …
But we don't have much time to develop the psychological qualities of a child!
The fact is that development in general is possible only until the end of puberty, that is, up to 12-15 years. After that, the process of realization of the obtained properties begins, which continues throughout a person's life. The completeness of implementation, and hence the ability to enjoy your life, depends on the level of development of the vectors.
Each child is born with a certain set of vectors, and appropriate conditions are necessary for the development of each of them, however, without a feeling of security and safety, the level of their development can hardly reach the maximum. The baby may not have a mountain of toys, gadgets and entertainment, but in a state of security and safety, he will feel happy, which means he will be able to develop.
The loss of this feeling is perceived by the child as a great stress, which simply stops the development of vectors.
Security and safety is not a three-layer scarf and escort to school until the tenth grade, it is an UNDERSTANDING of your child, his needs, needs, awareness of his differences, the peculiarities of his psyche and adequate participation in his life.
Participation is not in the form of a wallet or a collection of moral teachings, but the ability to perceive the child as an equal, as a part of your life, but at the same time as a separate and not always similar person to you.
A great maternal art is to create confidence in the baby that the mother is always on his side, and at the same time not to go too far in the direction of permissiveness and overprotection. Going into the science of upbringing with our heads, we sometimes do not notice how we are more engaged in the realization of our shortcomings at its expense, rather than develop the properties of the child.
The fragile world of a child's soul
The feeling of security and safety is the psychological comfort of the child, his confidence in himself, his tomorrow, his mother and the goodwill of the world around him.
Any stress outside the home is compensated for and goes away without a trace when the child feels the security provided by the mother. But when the mother becomes a source of stress, this feeling is lost, the ground disappears from under her feet, the whole world is perceived as hostile, the child is not able to cope with such stress.
The development of vectors stops, shortages grow, the balance of the biochemistry of the brain is disturbed, the child tries to align it in any way available to him, and at the early stages of the development of vectors, only the most primitive, archetypal ways are available, since the baby is just learning to use the obtained properties. If such situations are repeated, the stereotype of archetypal satisfaction of innate properties is fixed in the child's behavior as the only one possible for him.
A child's feeling of being protected and safe is an essential condition and a necessary basis for the development of vector properties from a lower, primitive level, at which psychological needs are directly filled “in oneself, inward,” to the highest level, where desire is brought out, outside, for the benefit of society. … Only such satisfaction of natural desires provides maximum fulfillment, maintains the balance of the biochemistry of the brain, thereby bringing pleasure from life.
In the laborious process of upbringing the personality, it is the mother who plays the leading role, her ability to create this extremely important feeling of a happy childhood up to the moment when the child, becoming an adult, takes responsibility for his actions and begins the process of realizing the obtained properties.
Summarizing the above, we can say that the entire scenario of a person's life is formed in childhood: this is the level of development that the child managed to achieve before the end of puberty, and the feeling of security and safety is the necessary condition without which development is impossible.
In attempts to adapt the pressure of the landscape, the baby repeatedly fills himself with bumps, falls into dead ends and is lost in search of a way out of situations that are new for him, but no matter how thorny the path of the child's development, no matter how painfully he falls, a feeling of security and safety next to his mother able to give him the strength to conquer any heights over and over again.
Childhood happiness is a mother who loves and understands like no one else in the world!
