Family Relations Crisis: How to Live Next?
Women are more often concerned about how to improve family relationships. This is natural, since for a man the main criterion of internal consistency is his social realization. And for a woman, in order to feel fulfilled and successful, it is very important to take place in a couple, to be loved and desired …
December. Midnight. Asleep house.
Fatigue presses against the sheet.
I lie and think only about the fact that there
is nothing left of us.
The alienation strip is expanding. Quarrels and mutual claims, caustic reproaches and grievances destroy everything that connected the two. Or there is an oppressive silence, full of coldness and indifference. The last sparks of fading attraction to each other drown in it. Family life is reaching a dead end. So I want to believe that this is a temporary crisis in relations that can still be overcome! But more and more often treacherous thoughts come into my head: "This is unbearable … maybe better … divorce?"
The training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan will help you to make a conscious and balanced decision. He reveals the reasons why there was a crisis period in a couple. Allows you to assess the perspective of the relationship and bring them out of any peak.
Causes of the crisis in marriage
With those lips that are now choking countless cigarettes, you still knew how to smile and sing along …
At the beginning of a relationship, the happiness of being together is so simple and natural! Attraction and passion flare up by themselves. It is easy and fun to find a common language. And we go to marriage precisely because we want to receive this pleasure constantly.
But over time, the attraction subsides and the coherence is lost. The reason is that nature gives this idyll for a short time - only for the birth of offspring. And then the deliberate work of two is required to keep the couple. Long-term, sustainable relationships are what we build ourselves.
Through pheromones, unconscious body odors, people with completely opposite psychological properties are attracted to a couple. And when the peak of attraction subsides, our differences come to the fore. People do not always know how to overcome this. It happens that spouses value the family, try to save it, find an approach to each other - but the problems are still growing. A difficult and dangerous period begins when the negative received in the relationship begins to outweigh all the good things that were before.
How to prevent a breakdown in the relationship, we will talk below. But if the crisis of family relations has already begun, it is still more often overcome - through understanding the psychological characteristics of each other. Based on them, you can build a strong emotional connection that will keep your family boat afloat in any life storm. You can start by using simple examples to understand how and why conflicts and alienation arise between you.
Why quarrels and scandals in the family
Every phrase, then a machine-gun recitative, and every pause, then a swamp or a ravine.
Am I an enemy to you, to my face, but a tear? I'm not your enemy.
Sometimes we don't even understand how much we hurt each other. What pain we inflict. This is because each person has their own angle of view through which they perceive life. Our values, desires and preferences are inherent in nature from birth, system-vector psychology unites them into groups - vectors.
For example, a decisive, active, quick and enterprising woman with a skin vector is often married to a person whose properties are completely different. He is a leisurely and thorough, conservative person. This is the owner of the anal vector. At first, as long as strong attraction holds the couple together, these opposites complement each other. It balances her impetuosity. She brings into the couple the ability to make quick decisions, inspires her husband to social development and achievements.
When the attraction starts to decline, it becomes more and more annoying: how different we are!.. The husband complains that his mobile and nimble wife is too busy at work. He does not devote to children and him as much time as he should. And the wife raises complaints - that the beloved is turning into a sofa-sitter, it would be better to find another part-time job! Nagging for sluggishness, for unwillingness to change. Gradually, the crisis in the family is aggravated - after all, we do not even realize that we are literally stepping on a sore spot on a loved one. We scold for what he is by nature.
Another example: partners are often attracted to a couple, one of whom has a visual vector, and the other has a sound vector.
Am I your enemy to be silent with me like a speaker in an empty airport?
A pensive, out of this world sound engineer has little interest in the world of consumption. He is concerned with metaphysical questions. He unconsciously seeks a clue of how the world works and what is its purpose in it. Outwardly, the sound person is not very emotional and talkative. Such a deep and mysterious guy is incredibly attractive for an emotional, impressionable girl with a visual vector. Often she sees in him a potential genius, an unusual person, not like everyone else. And this is really true.
A crisis in a marriage between such people often begins with the fact that an emotional wife expects from her husband the same vivid, emotional manifestations of love that she herself is capable of. And not receiving, he experiences a strong fear: “You don’t love me anymore? Honestly". Most often, the sound engineer also sincerely worries about the destruction of relations - but strong storms in the soul are not expressed externally. The crisis period is growing due to mutual misunderstanding.
The ear is a particularly sensitive area of the sound. The louder and more expressive the visual wife, the deeper her sonic husband goes into himself. Can spend hours at the computer and hide in headphones. An oppressive silence falls. Husband's libido can fade away - because the sound vector is naturally asexual. In such a man, attraction is able to reveal itself if he has sufficiently realized his talents in society and there is sound comfort in the relationship.
So, there are eight vectors, each of which endows its owner with completely different features of the psyche. Depending on these properties, we observe the world in different ways, we manifest ourselves in different ways in any relationship. To be able to build paired relationships, you just need to know, understand the psyche of a loved one and your own.
The crisis of family relationships over the years: is it necessary to go through a bad experience?
Women are more often concerned about how to improve family relationships. This is natural, since for a man the main criterion of internal consistency is his social realization. And in order for a woman to feel fulfilled and successful, it is very important to take place in a couple, to be loved and desired.
Therefore, when problems arise in the family, most often it is the fair sex that looks for the cause of the problem. We often associate difficulties with so-called crisis periods. For example, a crisis of 3 or 7 years of marriage. Perhaps at this stage, problems are natural and everyone has? But it is easy to see that this is different for each pair. Someone and seven years have passed - but everything is in order. Others had their first crisis in 10 years of marriage. And for many, the pair falls apart in a year or two.
Don't wait for problems to grow. Each quarrel or scandal, coldness and indifference to each other - increase the gap between you. Yuri Burlan's training proves on a variety of results: you can keep long-term pair relationships happy and harmonious.
How to cope with a crisis in a relationship and build family happiness
There is a special secret for the fair sex: a woman sets the tone in a relationship. She is the heart of the family. No wonder they say that if a woman is happy, then everyone around her is happy: her husband, children, parents, neighbors, and even aquarium fish. But what if the “heart of the family” can barely carry this burden of life?
After a hard day at an unloved job, there is no strength for anything. Colleagues jerked. In transport, they are rude. You come home, and there … a child with homework cannot solve the simplest problem on his own. A disgruntled husband dumps a bunch of complaints on his head. Vicious circle. How to get out of it?
The training "System-vector psychology" helps to solve these problems in a complex way.
- The ability to understand the psychological properties of any person and their differences from their own makes it possible to find a common language with any person: spouse, children, parents, colleagues. And this is easy to do, without stress.
You will be able to deeply understand yourself: what you want from life and how to achieve it. As a result, the goals really become achievable, and instead of fighting for a place in the sun, there is joy from the full realization of all your talents and properties.
- You will get unique stress resistance. This gives the ability to cope with any situation without compromising the internal state. You no longer have to carry the accumulated negative home - you will be a source of joy and balance for your loved ones.
- At the training of Yuri Burlan, all the subtleties of relations in a couple are revealed. The skill of building a deep emotional connection with a partner is being developed. This provides a lasting guarantee that your family will survive any storm, any crisis without loss.
As a result, relationships are built in such a way that everyone brings the best of themselves to the couple - on the principle of mutual complementarity. After all, in fact, you have a family place precisely because you are different! The desire to remake the other for himself is leaving - after all, he can bring into the family exactly what you lack. Paired relationships turn into a source of constant joy and inspiration.