I hate my appearance … How to live with it ?
Sometimes I just want to disappear without anyone seeing me. I often have strange thoughts. I don’t understand what I’m doing here. Why am I not like everyone else? What's wrong with me? If people don't like me, then why am I needed here? I still don't seem to be there. These thoughts don't let go. And it already seems that I do not want anything.
I'm eighteen. Last year I graduated from high school and entered the first year of physics and mathematics. But I don’t want to go to university and I don’t want to leave the house at all. I hate myself and my appearance.
Why do we have all the beautiful girls on the course, only I am a freak? We all have guys, and no one has looked at me in my entire life.
It was the same at school, nothing has changed. I never had real friends either. Alone all the time. There were a couple of guys in the class with whom you could talk humanly. The others just laughed at me. My classmates loudly criticized my appearance. From this I began to withdraw even more into myself. I began to wear black so that they would not notice me at all. She dyed her hair dark. There are always headphones in the ears and the music is louder so as not to hear their idiotic grins and jokes.
I am enraged by parents who are trying to convince me that this is age-related and everything will pass. Sometimes I just want to disappear without anyone seeing me. I often have strange thoughts. I don’t understand what I’m doing here. Why am I not like everyone else? What's wrong with me? If people don't like me, then why am I needed here? I still don't seem to be there. These thoughts don't let go. And it already seems that I do not want anything.
Like - dislike
What if you are not considered attractive? If you don't like the way you look. Lack of friends and criticism from the outside - all of this aggravates the situation, reinforcing an already low self-esteem. Self-hatred, unwillingness to communicate and apathy cover your head. Every day becomes a challenge.
These experiences are very understandable. Our whole life is based on relationships with people: parents, friends, teachers, colleagues, partners in a pair. And at the age of 18, building peer relationships is a major need. The girl begins adult life, and relationships with the opposite sex are especially important to her.
Each of us pays attention to the appearance of the people around us, and it seems that those who we like are chosen as friends. We meet by clothes. It seems to us that people are attracted by their appearance to create family relationships. This is partly true. For example, when a man chooses a woman, the purity of her skin is very important to him. But not everything is so simple. Appearance is not a decisive criterion for creating relationships in a couple and in a team. And the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan shows what we actually react to and why this is so.
Why doesn't anyone love me?
You ask yourself this question when you hear ridicule from your classmates. Maybe you consider yourself unattractive because you are not like everyone else. Or you compare yourself with the "standard" of beauty and start to acquire complexes.
Conversations that appearance is not the most important thing will be empty for a person with a visual vector. Complexes about their appearance and, in general, everything related to the visual perception of the world are characteristic of him.
Most likely, you also have a visual vector. Then beauty is your value. You get great pleasure from bright colors, you can admire the sunset and rainbow tints after the rain like no other. This is all because your eyes from birth are endowed with an incredible ability to distinguish hundreds of shades, colors and notice what an ordinary person cannot do.
But the lack of beauty brings you discomfort. That is why your, as it seems to you, imperfect appearance gives you so much suffering. The predisposition of visual people to wind themselves up and make an elephant out of a fly can lead them to deep despondency and hysterical states.
And now I want to reveal to you one more secret about a person with a visual vector. External beauty is not its only value. The main thing for the viewer is still feelings. Only the owner of the visual vector can truly fall in love. It is very easy for the viewer to create emotional connections, he lives by it. When a visual person loves, he is like a sun that warms everyone around with its warmth. People are drawn to such a person, everyone wants to bask in the rays of his love.
When feelings are self-centered, they become fear, tears of self-pity, and in this state there seems to be no way out. When we manage to direct our feelings outward, our own state and the attitude of other people towards us change. System-vector psychology helps to do this through awareness of oneself, one's own character traits and understanding of others, their desires, their actions. When you understand, the world ceases to seem hostile.
An emotional connection is exactly what you can use to build relationships with guys. In a couple, the girl begins to build an emotional connection. Then, like brick by brick, strong friendships and love relationships are built, in which appearance plays a secondary role. The primary is intimacy, shared thoughts and feelings. People are attracted emotionally, they enjoy communicating with each other. And then a person seems to us beautiful not only internally, but also externally.
Why don't you want anything?
Sometimes the sense of meaninglessness of life itself is so strong that it can devalue even what I once considered important for myself.
You say you don't want anything. You don't seem to see the point in studying, in life in general. Of course, this is exacerbated by the feeling of loneliness due to the lack of friends and those who really understand you.
This latent depression is so depressing that it seems incomprehensible why one should live. System-vector psychology suggests that such conditions can occur in people with a sound vector. When vector properties don't get the right load.
At the same time, the psyche is multifaceted. One person can have three or four vectors, each of which has his own desires that require fulfillment.
So, for the visual vector, this is the desire to create an emotional connection, to love and be loved, to surround oneself with beauty. The natural desire for the sound vector is the knowledge of the meaning of life, of one's I. Of course, this is hidden from human consciousness and is revealed only when studying the psyche. The sound person is often in focus on his thoughts, conducting an internal dialogue with himself. It's not crazy, it's an innate need to apply abstract thinking to create new ideas and deep thoughts.
From the outside, the sound engineer often looks absent-minded, out of this world. He unconsciously seeks solitude and silence for concentration and avoids noisy places and companies. Because of this, he can become the subject of ridicule from others.
Perhaps you also have a sound vector, and you begin to recognize yourself in these descriptions. If so, then you should know that you have naturally the most sensitive hearing. Perhaps you started reading science fiction early, thinking about the creation of the world and what the cosmos hides, about whether there is a God. Your reasoning takes you far beyond the galaxy and sometimes does not allow you to sleep. You are especially sensitive to music, and in difficult conditions you muffle your thoughts with hard rock, fencing yourself off from the noisy world with headphones.
But at the same time, you are a person capable of deep thinking, with whom you can endlessly talk on various topics. Only you can create an incredible spiritual connection with other people based on a deep understanding of a person.
To be or not to be
The sound vector is dominant. This means that if his desires are not fulfilled, then this suppresses the desires of other vectors, and the person becomes very bad. Social isolation is especially affected, giving a feeling of hopeless blackness and abyss. “Withdrawing into oneself” aggravates severe conditions in the sound vector.
In such a state, the physical world does not seem to exist, everything is illusory. Does it sound familiar? The sound engineer unconsciously senses the infinity of the soul and the finitude of the body, and it seems to him that the body is confinement. But this is not the case. Suicidal thoughts come to the sound engineer only when he does not find his place in life, when he does not understand why he was born.
How to become attractive
Everything in nature has a purpose. Every person is born at the right time. The meaning of life is. And you can understand it with the help of the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, which reveals all the mysteries of the psyche, helping a person to realize his desires and understand what to do to become happy.
Start with free online lectures, where from the very first minutes you will begin to get to know yourself and your loved ones, understand the differences and understand how to behave and build relationships with peers.
The ability to perfectly interact with people frees a person forever from complexes concerning his appearance. There is an understandable attraction: people are drawn to communicate with you, unconsciously feeling that they are understood.
After all, all interaction between people occurs unconsciously, on smells. When your state changes, when tension, fear and depression leave inside, the smell also changes. And people feel it. You become attractive to them. Both externally and internally.
In addition, the state of mind is reflected in one way or another on the appearance: the weight is normalized, the skin of the face is cleansed, the clamps on the face and body go away, the gait becomes lighter and more confident, and the look becomes lighter.
There are a lot of such results:
Already now you can register for introductory online classes using the link in order to forget about your problems with appearance and to improve relationships with others.