Resentment against my mother: my endless suffering
Resentment against your mother prepares you for a feeling of eternal deprivation, underestimation, uselessness. The feeling of resentment and injustice towards you creates the feeling that you have been standing outside the door all your life. It is impossible to learn to forgive without understanding the psyche of another person. Real forgiveness is a deep understanding, awareness of what moves a person …
In moments of emotional storms and troubles in life, it is natural for a person to seek reassurance in his father's house. Where he spent his childhood. Where you can run away and find peace and balance. Where you can gain confidence and strength, where it smells of fresh bread and waves of warmth in your soul when your mother puts her hand on your head. Resentment against our mother deprives us of this.
It so happens that you rush about in search of this calmness, knock on the door of your father's house in your memory, but it is locked and you cannot enter. You need to get there! It's a matter of life! You rip off the doorknob, but the door won't budge, while the key is in your pocket. You really need a mom, but you can't get her. Resentment against your mother prepares you for a feeling of eternal deprivation, underestimation, uselessness. The feeling of resentment and injustice towards you creates the feeling that you have been standing outside the door all your life.
You try and always tried to be the best for her: just see, notice me, smile at me, tell me that I am good. But no. You remember with regret that nothing worked: the childhood that every child deserves was not there. You have not received her love, attention, participation. You didn't get your mother.
Increasingly, thoughts about her are accompanied by irritation and annoyance, as if she did not cope with the role entrusted to her, and you, unfortunate person, fell an innocent victim of her “unprofessionalism” in this most important task for any woman.
Living with resentment is a heavy burden
When you try to understand why resentment towards your mother arises and how to deal with her, you are completely sure that your feelings are completely objective. But at some point you realize that these emotions interfere with your life in the first place. Disappointment, self-pity and anger at her, resentment and guilt are simultaneously mixed into an explosive cocktail.
Constant resentment against the mother deprives life of a sense of fullness, gives everyday life some kind of ridiculous tragic aftertaste, often inappropriate, always interfering. And even the most rosy reality the feeling of resentment towards the mother can be painted in dull swamp tones, recalling the quagmire that every day with renewed vigor pulls the offended to the bottom.
Resentment becomes an enduring state akin to a bad habit, from which it is impossible to get rid of, even realizing all its perniciousness. But it is very important to understand that life without offense is possible. And this is tantamount to waking up from a coma. And understanding how to overcome this suffocating state is more accessible than it seems.
And it arises at the training of Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology", which introduces any interested and interested person to the concept of vectors - sets of desires and properties of the psyche set from birth, in accordance with which the owner of one vector or another will live his life.
Desire cannot be canceled, drowned out. Each person manifests himself in life in full accordance with what he really wants. More often unconsciously …
Resentment against the mother: one-sided objectivity
Touchiness is a clear sign of the presence of an anal vector in the psyche. One of the properties of the psyche of the owner of the anal vector is a good memory. And it is important to understand that it was given to him for the good - for the development of the human community. Having a good memory, it is possible to comprehend science and further teach the next generations of people. Thus, in potential, this property is not given in order to remember the bad, not to get stuck in the past, which, in fact, is resentment.
A person with an anal vector appreciates quality in his work, the achievement of which does not tolerate fuss. To successfully accumulate knowledge, time is needed: to assimilate, process, analyze. That is, this type of psyche obviously implies a slower pace of life, when compared with those for whom information flies into one ear and immediately flies out of the other. And what happens if next to him is this one - faster, more agile, flexible?
When people with different sets of mental properties, different desires and priorities meet, this means that they will manifest themselves in different ways in life. And it will be difficult for them to understand each other, because everyone thinks from the position "I would not do that …". Only the end of the phrase remains behind the scenes of consciousness: "… because I have different vectors, a different psyche."
If the mother and child interact in this way, then the conflict of interests, values and goals cannot be avoided. This is simply impossible without understanding what kind of psyche the person with whom you communicate has, and how it differs from yours. This requires knowledge of system-vector psychology. Only by learning what the anal vector is, how the psyche of different people is structured, you get an effective way of how to deal with life-consuming resentment.
Psychology of resentment against a person: what are the reasons for this severity
The stages of the formation of resentment for each owner of the anal vector are the same, the situations that caused the resentment may be different. So, there are actions on the part of others, each of which is capable, if repeated systematically, to lead to a resentment progressing from childhood.
These factors include:
- Haste: it is important to learn that a person with an anal vector likes to do everything slowly, effectively, with an arrangement.
- Interrupting is also strictly prohibited in relation to the owner of the anal vector, since interruption in mid-sentence leads to the inability to finish what he started, which is so important for him. And this entails severe psychosomatics, often - problems with the gastrointestinal tract, in a more severe case - stuttering.
- Lack of well-deserved praise: For a person with an anal vector, it is extremely important to receive feedback in the form of recognition, approval, encouragement. And in her absence, he begins to feel a shortage, provoking resentment. Indeed, from his point of view, justice is violated, as he understands it - how much he gave, so much he should receive.
Any interaction with a person that runs counter to his nature has a detrimental effect on the psyche, especially if it occurs during its formation.
The owner of the anal vector is the keeper of the experience of ancestors, traditions and foundations. For such a person, the mother is the most important person in life. Her word, look, opinion is of paramount importance. And if it happens that the mother does not have an anal vector, and this happens quite often, then with a high probability she can make all the above mistakes in relation to her own child. And of course, she will not even guess about the consequences of her actions.
Not receiving what he wants from his mother, the owner of the anal vector gets offended, gets stuck in the past. Scrolls unpleasant moments in his head, chews, returns to this again and again. This is a significant experience for him. He would be glad to get rid of it, but he cannot on his own. This state grows like a snowball, at some point degenerating into an offense not only to the mother, but to the entire female genus, and to life in general.
This will happen until such a person understands an important thing: the mother did not know exactly how she needed to behave with him, because she had other properties. She didn't hurt him on purpose. She sincerely wanted the best.
And she performed her main role - ensured the continuation of life. This is what was required of her. And our task now is to fulfill our role according to our nature.
It is possible to get rid of resentment against the mother
It is impossible to learn to forgive without understanding the psyche of another person. Real forgiveness is a deep understanding, an awareness of what drives a person. It's like becoming him for a second, feeling the world and the situation with his soul, psyche. And in this case, it is better to feel once than to read it a hundred times.
Absolutely imperceptibly and very naturally comes understanding and disclosure of the psyche of another person with the help of the knowledge gained at the training "System-vector psychology". And this along the way allows you to get rid of feelings of resentment against the mother.
You can join those freed from the heavy burden of resentment at the free online training by Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology", and this experience is priceless:
