Family Psychology: How to Make Your Family Happy
This article is not about how to survive another family crisis, but about how to create that little paradise, a cozy family nest that every person dreams of. For this, we need, first of all, the ability to understand other people - to understand not through ourselves, not through our prism of perception of the world, desires and values, but objectively, as it really is. This is what Yuri Burlan's training System-Vector Psychology teaches.
Is there some kind of checklist, formula, list of rules that you can use to create a happy family? Is family psychology capable of changing the state of affairs, fixing family problems that seem insoluble?
Dreams of a happy married life are often completely different from reality. A non-family person, dreaming of a home, imagines a small paradise where everyone loves and supports each other. Obedient, smart, happy children, playing peacefully with each other, loving, understanding, gentle spouse, true love, passion.
In reality, people who desperately want family happiness often get a homebrew hell, where children fight among themselves, are rude to adults, their behavior is difficult to control. Husband and wife do not get along, yell at children, sometimes it comes to assault. Reproaches and misunderstandings replace love and passion.
This article is not about how to survive another family crisis, but about how to create that little paradise, a cozy family nest that every person dreams of. For this, we need, first of all, the ability to understand other people - to understand not through ourselves, not through our prism of perception of the world, desires and values, but objectively, as it really is. This is what Yuri Burlan's training System-Vector Psychology teaches.
Relationship psychology in marriage
They say opposites attract. This observation is taken from life. Indeed, natural attraction attracts completely different people to marriage, with different vectors. They feel life in different ways, want different things, and worst of all, each demands from each other what is important to him, perceiving the other as wrong himself.
System-vector psychology makes it possible to understand a partner, to see the world through his eyes. What does he want, what is important to him, why does he think so and why does he behave like that? Because he was born different - with different vectors, that is, with different psychological properties and desires.
For example, a wife with an anal vector will wait from a husband with a skin vector to be a good father, take part in raising children, help her around the house, or at least not throw socks around. And for him other things are important - career, money, novelty. Go somewhere, not stay at home, have sex in a special way.
For one, traditions are important, valuable native and familiar, for another, something new is constantly needed, the factor of novelty is important. And so in everything - people are different, and this is the reason for conflicts and misunderstanding, mutual irritation and discontent, disappointment and desire to remake each other. Only one "domestic incompatibility" is able to sow discord in a couple.
People who have begun to understand each other from the inside immediately stop all attempts to remake their partner. True understanding is not words, it is a stable skill that can be described as follows: to feel the world and see it the way a loved one feels it. But understanding alone is not enough for the happiness of two.
The next step in creating personal happiness is building an emotional connection. Gradually exposing their souls to each other, loving people create incredible sincere relationships. This is the only way to preserve love and passion for many years, because otherwise it leaves in a few years. This filigree relationship work should never be stopped.
Happy children
Happy parents are more likely to raise happy children. Children will remember their childhood as happy if they feel a sense of security and safety in the family circle.
It is this essential feeling that parents must provide to children for their psychological health and development. This is not so difficult to do. For starters, stop being a threat to your children. In other words, stop hitting them, stop shouting at them, offending, humiliating, and forcing them to do what they are naturally incapable of.
After all, the child can be completely different from the parent in the set of vectors. From birth, he may have a different nature, and the parent in the process of education sees in him a wrong self.
"But who are you so ugly?" Not necessarily to father or mother - vectors are not inherited. After all, it's hard not to notice that absolutely different children are born and grow up in the same family. Family education is given to everyone the same, and people grow up different.
By improperly interacting with their child, parents provoke deviant behavior. For example, if you shout at a child with a sound vector, he will become more and more isolated in himself, perceive information worse, and become poor at learning, although he is potentially a genius.
If you beat and insult a small skin child, he will begin to steal, he may develop masochistic inclinations. In the family circle, he already provokes parents, brothers and sisters to be beaten, and in the future he will also unconsciously seek pain, although he will consciously strive for happiness and a dignified life.
At the training "System-vector psychology" you begin to understand your child from the inside. And from that moment on, the need to "fix" the baby disappears once and for all. The approach to it is found in a natural way.
And in the same natural way, the child's behavior is normalized - only because his parents stop harming him, trying to remake. This has been proven by many parents who were trained by Yuri Burlan:
Only in such a family atmosphere can a child develop to the maximum his psyche, that is, the properties that are given to him by nature and realize himself fully in future adult life.
Family Traditions Needed for a Happy Family
Some traditions are very conducive to family happiness - they are the basis for successful relationships in any family.
- For example, the best therapy for bringing all family members closer is to have regular meals together: dinners, breakfasts, and weekend lunches. A family where everyone chews their own sausage in front of a computer or TV runs the risk of never becoming friendly.
- It is a very good tradition to read books aloud with the family, preferably classics. People who together empathize with the heroes, experience the events of a literary work, create deep emotional ties among themselves. Reading together in a family with several children is especially important. This tradition will avoid fights and quarrels between them.
A true understanding of each family member automatically gives rise to their own traditions and family habits - depending on which opposites coexist in it. For example, regularly massage children with a skin vector, go hiking with them. Observe silence where the sound people live, because the noise causes them suffering. Regularly visit the theater with visual children, because they need emotional impressions so much!
Happiness is the result of knowledge and its application.
Register for a free online training System Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan and see for yourself.
