Birthday and depression: causes in psychology
And it happens that depression rolls over on your birthday - even when you are waiting for it and getting ready. What is going on? How are birthday and depression related? Let's look at examples of why the state of depression on a birthday can visit others …
Oh, this "holiday of childhood", from which, as in a song, there is no escape! Maybe someone is a joy, but not me. It happens that depression before a birthday begins a month before, and you just want to disappear!.. Abyss from all radars: phones, social networks, from home. Do not respond to sugary congratulations, do not force a forced smile.
And it happens that depression rolls over on your birthday - even when you are waiting for it and getting ready. There are a lot of emotions, wishes for happiness, at first there is an uplift, and then - emptiness, and all night long you roar into your pillow sobbing … What is happening? How are birthday and depression related?
The training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan will help you find answers to this exciting question.
The relationship between birthday and depression in psychology
Every person perceives time. Although we do not always think about its transience. Much more often we live in the moment, as if there is an eternity ahead. But the "X-day" comes, which inexorably adds "+1" to the list of years lived. It's a birthday. Depression and other negative states at such a moment are felt by many people.
What thoughts come to mind at the same time depends on the innate psychological qualities and properties of a person. For example, people with the skin vector feel the time and all the people associated with it most acutely.
I am so many years old - and what have I achieved?
The owners of the skin vector are mobile, active, purposeful. They value and save time. They want to be the first in everything, set ambitious goals and strive to achieve them. The main desire of such people is to achieve superiority in income and on the career ladder.
A person with a skin vector explains the causes of depression on his birthday as follows: "Another year is over, and I still haven't achieved what I wanted." As long as there is enough strength and energy, this statement of fact only spurs an ambitious desire to move forward. But when year after year pass, and the situation does not change - strength runs out, zeal fades away.
Such people do not have depression on their birthday, but irritability and nervousness. The next wishes to achieve the desired goal cause only a sidelong grin and anger towards the "well-wisher". And without him it is sickening to remember my failures - I could have kept silent!
Since time is a great value for the owners of the skin vector, they feel more acutely than many that if the goals are not achieved, then precious years of life are wasted. And yet, not only people with a skin vector suffer from unpleasant symptoms on this holiday.
Let's look at examples of why the state of depression on a birthday can visit others.
Depression before birthday: when tears roll in for no reason
“You are getting ready, you are worried. It's nice to be the center of attention, but the event requires careful preparation. It is necessary to take care of the feast in advance, about the outfit, about the hair. And everything goes wrong forever. The one whom you expect the most is sure to get sick! It will be lucky if you don’t use the iron on your festive dress. As a result, both on the eve of the holiday and on the birthday itself - depression, fatigue, tearfulness. Even if by a miracle everything went well, the accumulated tension requires discharge. The holiday was a success, but after the guests leave, you roar like a beluga until you let go."
It would seem, why is there depression before the birthday, and the holiday itself - with tears in his eyes, if a person was waiting for it so?
Emotional changes are characteristic of women and men with a visual vector. They naturally have the widest emotional range. The state of a visual person in a few minutes can change from euphoria to hopeless melancholy.
Such a person succeeds in being emotionally stable when he is focused on the feelings of other people: he empathizes with them, provides emotional support. But the reasons for depression on a birthday (or rather, emotional swings) are simple. When preparing for the holiday and on this day itself, a person is maximally focused on himself: on how he will look, what he will be told, etc. The effect is the opposite - a person involuntarily becomes obsessed with himself as much as possible. At such moments it seems that attention was not given, no one likes, people are callous and indifferent. If your personal life is not arranged, on your birthday these experiences come to the fore. Loneliness is felt more acutely than usual.
The picture can be aggravated by the properties of the anal vector: the carrier of these qualities is a couch potato and introvert, loves stability. Strives for everything to be perfect, without errors. So he wants to arrange a perfect holiday and suffers if the development of events does not go according to plan. In addition, the preparation of a noisy feast and the associated changes in the usual way are unsettling.
Depression on your birthday, as well as before, after and instead …
“Do you think I don’t know what awaits me on this day? “Hello, Vasek! Happy Birthday! Depression aside, brother, do not sour - this is your holiday! " Well, yes, of course … I'm alive. Just what are you happy about? People are generally mysterious: they scurry about like midges in a swamp, around idiotic, meaningless things. Money, sex, clothes, food, screaming children … I'm not interested in talking or thinking about it. It is not clear why I was so strange born. Why is it lousy and uncomfortable for me here. Why doesn't this “simple human happiness” catch me. Where is my place in this world?"
Immersed in his thoughts, “out of this world”, the owner of the sound vector is unlikely to even think about why he has depression on his birthday, she, in general, is a frequent companion of his life. But he really wants to understand himself, to understand his strange desires, his difference from the rest.
The fact is that the sound engineer is the only one who is not interested in the values of the physical world. He wants to know the metaphysical nature, that is, the forces that govern everything around. The reason for his depression is that he does not see the meaning in life. He does not find an answer to the intimate question of what he lives for in general. Then the sound engineer feels a real depression: the world seems illusory, suicidal thoughts creep into his head.
This is the psychology of depression, and a birthday is just another reason to feel separate from the world. His dissimilarity from the rest, restlessness. The real way out for the sound engineer is only in the awareness of their special desires. And in finding a way to realize them among people.
The psychology of depression on a birthday: what to do if the holiday is not a joy
If your holiday has turned into a painful point, if depression and other serious conditions do not allow you to rejoice on your birthday, then the psyche is giving an alarming signal. It is about not going to live happily and get what you want out of life.
Therefore, the hunt to hide out of sight, and sincere wishes of friends can fall into the most sore spot. For example, a woman, trying to conceive a child, spends months and years on treatment - and all to no avail. Is it easy for her to hear regular wishes of “good health” on her holiday?
And guess what reasons for depression on his birthday have someone who has been seeking decent wages for years, but "things are still there"? Or is the love of your life waiting - and silence in return? Why can depression on a birthday lead to suicidal thoughts of a brooding sound person? It's simple: the notorious "childhood holiday" reveals hidden problems before us, makes them sharper and brighter.
The training of Yuri Burlan will help to deal with the real causes of the problems that lie in human psychology and really change life for the better.
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