The chasm between childhood and overdose
Like many others, our hero from childhood was familiar with how harmful drugs are. I attended social lessons, listened to parents and teachers. And even he himself drew a wall newspaper for the Day of Health at school, in which he announced in a childish way: "Drugs is death." I sincerely did not understand why people ruin their lives on their own. And, peering into the night sky, I thought about the infinity of my future. I was sure: "I will never become a drug addict." But all this was a million moments ago. Long before he took his last step. Into the black void of the abyss of oblivion that opened before him. So what's the reason?
The chatter of connecting wires warned of an approaching train. He was sitting on the bridge with his legs dangling and smiling at something. People passing by did not seem to notice the puny guy sitting on the railing just above the fork in the rails. Throwing back his head, he did not blink, looking somewhere up. The moon was unusually large today, and the sky was pitch black. It was into this blackness that the boy peered with such delight.
Tomorrow he will definitely get hit for running away from home again, hanging along the rails and returning late at night. What does it matter what will happen tomorrow? After all, there is now. These seconds under an endlessly black sky last like hours. This serene moon And even the hum of passing trains could not frighten off the calmness that the endless night reigning over his head gave him.
Memories dissipated in a haze and left behind only the reflection of a deathly pale face in the mirror. It seemed as if the night had settled in the pool of his tired eyes. From the dreamy smile from the past, only a thin strip of colorless lips remained. He stared into the reflection of his own eyes, as if weighing some decision. Can I stop? Not. The guy washed himself with warm water again and returned to the room. On the table lay the flattened "dots" of the Eureka in a slender row. He crushed a cigarette with a lighter, lit it. I didn't want to dream for a long time, instead of that there were already familiar hand movements. Point to cigarette, cigarette to bottle, smoke to lungs. No mental anguish, remorse and other nonsense. He needs a result - to forget, to fly away. To dissolve, as then on the bridge, only in an adult way.
Another portion of the bitter smoke weighs heavily in his head. The bottle slips out of your hands. The floor underfoot begins to sway, like the deck of a lost schooner. An unknown wave picks up his body with its comb and sucks into the very abyss of weightlessness. Gloom falls over the eyes. An empty stomach is constrained by spasms of dull nausea. The brain itches with every cell, as if there are thousands of insects swarming in it. It seems that the heart has left the body. The sound of his blows recedes with every second until it disappears altogether. Cold, quiet serenity embraces the guy …
Roots of emptiness
Like many others, our hero from childhood was familiar with how harmful drugs are. I attended social lessons, listened to parents and teachers. And even he himself drew a wall newspaper for the Day of Health at school, in which he declared in a childish way: "Drugs is death." I sincerely did not understand why people ruin their lives on their own. And, peering into the night sky, I thought about the infinity of my future. I was sure: "I will never become a drug addict." But all this was a million moments ago. Long before he took his last step. Into the black void of the abyss of oblivion that opened before him.
So what's the reason? Why did the thoughtful little boy, barely entering adulthood, leave it? Why do thousands of the same guys looking at the sky choose a slippery path leading nowhere?
According to Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology, in addition to basic desires to eat, drink, breathe, and sleep, each person has a number of additional desires, the groups of which are called vectors. And only the fulfillment of these desires guarantees us a happy life. Eating and sleeping, of course, is good, but passion is how you want love. Or respect. Or money. Or both, or maybe the third. It all depends on the innate vector set of a person.
So, for example, emotional and sensual owners of the visual vector cannot imagine life without love. Even if not mutual. Prudent and practical leatherworkers find themselves in entrepreneurship, engineering or legislation. Seven vectors, seven different groups of desires, forming in their combination millions of different destinies, find their happiness and the meaning of life in the realization of their properties in the physical world.
Except for the eighth - sound. It is the carriers of the sound vector that become drug addicts more often than others. The reason for this is all the same additional desires. Desires of the seven vectors are based on earthly things that are understandable and understandable to ordinary people, such as power, love, respect, family, and so on. And desires in the sound vector stand out from this row. The soundman does not care at all with whom to start a family, what to wear, what to ride. At the heart of every action he has done or not, there is a question: "Why?" All his thoughts are aimed at finding the meaning of the life given to him.
Beginning of the End
To fulfill our inner desires, each of us has a set of innate properties necessary for this. Unfortunately, natively defined properties are not guaranteed to be implemented. A lot depends on the environment, upbringing, atmosphere within the family and development.
The little sonic boy was born for a reason. He was born to create brilliant thoughts, ideas that will move humanity forward. He had to enjoy life, solving its secrets one after another. Did not work out…
Like all sound people, he was quiet since childhood. And his favorite game was hide and seek. He played alone, as if hiding from himself. In a dark closet, closing his eyes, he listened to the sounds of life outside. Behind the cabinet door, he found himself in a completely different world.
In such moods, the sound engineer separates the world inside and the world outside. Outside, an illusion, but "real" life is lived inside, in the head, in thoughts, beyond the thin line of his eardrums. His ears are especially sensitive sensors that pick up every sound, every note of meaning in the word he hears. It is through sounds and their meanings that he perceives the world around him.
Night is a special time for a sound engineer. It is at night, when all the fuss of the world calms down, he can concentrate, listening to the quiet distant sounds in the silence of the night, peering into the infinity of the night starry sky, thinking about the Universe, about its meaning, about his place in it.
Therefore, avoiding noisy games with his peers during the day, the boy waited out this time in the closet, and at night, despite the prohibition of his parents, he walked along deserted streets, sat on the railing and looked after the trains that were carried away into the endless unknown distance.
For those around him, the sound engineer seems to be a person “out of this world”. And even parents are not always able to understand their silent child. Often this misunderstanding turns the life of a sound engineer into hell. Wherever the boy went, to school or to the yard, he always became a black sheep. The freaky demure is the best object for ridicule.
The enmity around him grew, building a stone wall between him and his peers, turning the happy days of childhood into endless suffering. He ran home, where confused parents were waiting for him, trying their best to make their child "normal". “But what kind of misfortune is on our heads? Everybody's children are like children, but what's wrong with you? "," Never mind, you will go to the army, they will make a man out of you! "," What kind of armless fool are you ?! " Each new phrase hit him harder.
For a sound engineer, every word, rustle or creak is not just sounds, but the meanings surrounding it. Screams, insulting words, unpleasant noises leave scars in his psyche deeper than a whip on a slave's back. Born to focus on the world around him, the traumatized sound engineer begins to perceive it as a world of suffering and pain. And he is saved in the only accessible place - inside himself.
But desire always requires fulfillment. This is how the human psyche works. No body is capable of accommodating the entire volume of the psyche of an infinite sound vector. Concentration on oneself, on sensations within oneself, will never give the filling of sound desire.
The boy grew up, sinking deeper and deeper into himself. The desire to comprehend life tore him apart from the inside. He tried to escape, looking for meaning in philosophy, religions, spiritual practices, esotericism. But wherever he went, disappointment awaited him. There was no sense anywhere. Each new fiasco turned life into even greater suffering. He fell asleep with a feeling of hopelessness, and woke up with him.
"Salvation" came late in the evening. A small bundle in the bony fingers opposite seemed to be a deliverance then.
"Try and the pain will subside," he heard. If he only knew that here, in a dark entrance, among painted walls and dust, he would lose himself forever. If only he knew …
One on one with emptiness
“Our desires live by us,” asserts the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan. An unfulfilled desire to know the essence of this world, a lack of meaningfulness form an emptiness in the psyche of the sound engineer. The black hole of meaninglessness devours him from the inside. Suffering from being unfulfilled leads the sound engineer to the only possible thought: "If I cannot cognize the meaning with my consciousness, then I need to change it."
In attempts to change consciousness, the sound engineer resorts to all sorts of methods: meditation, affirmations, lucid dreams. Ready to go to any lengths to get rid of suffering, the sound engineer often comes to drugs. Mushrooms, amphetamines, pain relievers, morphine, heroin, marijuana, hashish, hydroponics, lysergine, homemade crocodile - today the choice is great. The drug gives hope for deliverance, and then takes it with life.
The influence that drugs have on different parts of the brain is accepted by him for what he wants. The first drug intake always settles in the soundman's head with the thought: "This really changes consciousness!" And it doesn't matter the state after the reception. No matter how bad the next day, this “bad” always seems easier than the emptiness that the sound engineer faces every day. He is ready to sacrifice a body, which in fact does not have a special meaning for him, to expand the only thing that he considers his “I” - consciousness.
In fact, during the "arrival" the sound engineer focuses only on himself. On those physical sensations that his body experiences. It seems to him that emptiness and pain are gone, finally giving him the opportunity to live, create, reflect without suffering. And in the morning, when he lets go, the emptiness returns with a vengeance, causing even greater suffering and forcing him to take drugs again and again. The dose grows, clogging all the outlets out of your "I". There are only sensations that you want to take for awareness, and a growing emptiness. The sound engineer becomes a slave of his own egocentrism, concentration on his “I”. Life from coming to coming, with breaks for suffering.
Expansion of consciousness - what is it really?
No drug is capable of expanding the consciousness of a sounder. He does not bear any enlightenments, disclosures. Because no physical effect on the brain affects consciousness, its change or expansion. A real change in consciousness occurs without any aids. In a natural way. With your own intelligence.
Today, Yuri Burlan's System-Vector Psychology provides support to drug addicts, giving answers to questions about the causes of their internal states. The information obtained at the online training in systemic vector psychology allows you to understand not only yourself, but also those around you. It breaks down the barriers between the world inside and outside, built by years of drug use. Desire, tearing from within for many years, is finally realized and fulfilled. Numerous results of once drug addicted people confirm the effectiveness of the training.
There are no answers inside, all answers are outside!
Find out more about this at the free nightly online lectures on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register by the link:
