Suicide - deliberate or inspired, or Who settles accounts with our lives?
Both my friends died in agony from ruptured internal organs. Later, from the mother of one of them, we learned her last words. She said, “Mom, I'm sorry. I thought death was the way out. But I was wrong. I memorized these words. Now I knew that death is not an option …
Do you have suicidal thoughts? Are you discussing them with anyone? Do you have any doubts about this? Read about my experience and see the situation from the inside.
“Life is delirium. No exit. The ancestors got it. Best friend is a traitor. Heart? He's gone. Instead, a huge, black hole. Didn't you know that love is pain? The whole world is pain. Set up at every step."
With such thoughts, I closed the front door of my hated apartment. Hands trembled a little. Either excitement, or joy. Several bus stops from here, on the roof of a skyscraper, they were waiting for me. And it was not just a meeting.
I was going to jump. And two more with me. I was preparing, I was waiting for this jump as liberation. I did not see any other way out. Haven't seen it for a long time.
- Great, and I'm looking for you! - I looked back and saw a school friend.
- You're out of place. Let's do it tomorrow.
But after heated arguments, my friend still persuaded me, talked me out, dragged me away by force. Passing the cherished skyscraper, I then thought: “What is this? Is fate protecting me? Or just one more day I have to suffer?"
I returned on foot. People were running around the building, there were ambulances. I understood - they jumped! I came closer and heard moans. Everything that happened was like hell - everyone was running, crying, trying to load bodies into ambulances. One of the girls constantly shouted: “Mom, I'm sorry! Mom, help! The other was already unconscious. All these screams, blood, feeling of suffering in the air contrasted strongly with my romantic ideas about death. I stood like a shadow and could not move - after all, now I could also be here …
Both my friends died in agony from ruptured internal organs. Later, from the mother of one of them, we learned her last words. She said, “Mom, I'm sorry. I thought death was the way out. But I was wrong. I memorized these words. Now I knew that death was not an option. Death is belated remorse. I realized this somewhere at the level of the subcortex, I just felt that it was so. Then, when I got acquainted with the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan, I was able to realize this completely with all the causes and effects.
Invisible helper
Suicidal thoughts do happen in the minds of teenagers. But not everyone knows that not everyone is able to complete their idea. More often they suggest, in reality or on the Internet. Hundreds of "caring" fingers today are ready to describe in detail the methods of suicide or push us towards the final decision, subtly playing on people's feelings. But why do they need it and how does it happen? Let's figure it out.
Returning to my story. They also helped us. Without this help, everything would have remained at the level of talking about how bad everything is and how life got sick. But at some point a man appeared. He lived in our city, but behaved mysteriously, communicated mainly via the Internet. He was somewhere among us, watching us, and it was intriguing. He wrote to us a lot about death and what will come after it. I will not retell all this "crap" now, but then it seemed to us almost a revelation.
After several months of such communication, we were already fully embraced by his ideas. After some time, this man informed us that on the roof of that very skyscraper at the appointed time, we would receive our release. I don’t know if he came to that roof himself then. Hardly. Then, within a month, two more couples jumped from that skyscraper.
The police actively interrogated those who wear black clothes and listen to heavy music. The soul was shaken out of everyone, but the instigator was not found. We just didn’t notice the frail, quiet kid in a gray T-shirt and with pimples on his face. Many years later, from a friend, I heard a story about how he, with a bottle of beer in his hands, boasted that he was the ruler of human souls. Gasping with pleasure, he told the details already known to us and dreamed of the next victims.
It hurt me to realize that. Degenerate and half-asleep psycho, whose place is in a closed institution. Finding no use for himself among people, he took his perverse pleasure from the fact that he actually killed others, pushing them to cross the line, to take the last step. And we were so stupid and immersed in our problems and suffering that we believed his "bombastic" destructive speeches. For a long time I was tormented by the question: “Well, how can normal people listen to an idiot? How can they believe him? " It turns out that they can, if this "idiot" has a sound vector.
Tormented by incomprehension
As Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology says, every person from birth has a certain set of vectors. A vector is a collection of our abilities and desires, talents and inclinations. It is the vector that sets the direction of our thoughts, the mode of behavior, our strengths and weaknesses. Our natural desires require their fulfillment. The absence of this realization makes itself felt by shortages - various serious conditions.
The carriers of the sound vector are always special people. Their innate desire is to find answers to eternal questions. From the outside, this may seem strange and unnecessary. But in fact, the role of such people, who are only 5% of the total population, is great. The owner of the sound vector wants and can comprehend the deep meanings, reveal the laws and cause-and-effect relationships of the world order, phenomena and events, and form new ideas for the benefit of humanity. The whole problem is that he does not always know how exactly to realize this desire.
"Who am I?" "Why did I come here and where will I go?" "What is the meaning of our existence?" The inability to independently find the answers to these questions causes the greatest suffering in a person with a sound vector. It so happens that the greatest potential carries the greatest challenges.
A difficult age for any carrier of a sound vector is puberty, when all adolescent problems are added to personal sound intellectual deficiencies. During this period, the sound engineer may think about suicide. And only he can really decide to get rid of the body, having the illusion that then he will be able to let thoughts freely penetrate there, beyond the edge of reality and, finally, find their answers.
This is a big mistake. With death, thought does not penetrate anywhere - it simply breaks off, leaving nothing behind. Our body and psyche are erased from the memory of life if we break the age-old taboo: "You did not create yourself, it is not for you to kill."
But often puberty is more relaxed. Many carriers of the sound vector, having gone through doubts or depression, still find their place in life. Outstanding, nature-given abstract intelligence helps them achieve any lofty goals. And the innate ability to put their thoughts into words and encourage people to act in the name of the implementation of advanced ideas allows them to spread these ideas in society. The developed and realized sound vector is a genius in science and programming, outstanding writers, philosophers, linguists.
The other side of sound
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan says that the sound vector is, first of all, a large amount of desire. So large that it is often difficult to fill it, and the accumulated dissatisfaction can take the form of depression and other severe psychological conditions.
Many carriers of the sound vector are familiar with the desire to withdraw into themselves and isolate themselves from the noisy, distracting outside world. But not everyone knows to what extreme one can go in this, for example, under unfavorable environmental conditions. The fact is that moving away from people, going into psychological hermitism, the bearer of the sound vector feels less and less his connection with the world around him and other people.
He feels the need to focus and create new thoughts, but he cannot do this. This is because, without communication with other people, his ability to think and be aware does not increase, but, on the contrary, clogs up inside himself, like old wine. Ideas begin to wander and take on a dark shade, because without the awareness of other people, sound egocentrism soon takes on rampant proportions - "I hate people, and I dream of power over them."
In this state, the carrier of the sound vector is able to transfer his childhood traumas, resentments and pain of unfulfillment to the whole world, blaming others for his suffering. What is happening around gradually turns for such a person into a film, where he observes what is happening, but feels less and less involved in it. People, their vanity, their conversations, their very existence evoke hatred in him, and sometimes give rise to misanthropic ideas.
This grave condition can develop up to the complete disappearance in a person of the limiting cultural layer, communication with other people whom he no longer perceives alive. For him, they are pictures on the monitor screen, an illusion, pawns that he commands. Then, under the influence of his ideas, he can go to kill and try to take with him as many other people's lives as possible.
Today, many of those who are immersed in severe sound conditions find themselves in the so-called "death groups" on the Internet. In social networks, they incline people in difficult life situations to the last step. The Internet gives them a sense of greater security and a wider audience of readers. In this way, they realize their idea to "cleanse" the world of hated people and maintain an illusory feeling of their domination.
Unfortunately, tormented by childhood traumas and sound deficiencies, such people still retain many sound abilities. For example, the great possibilities of abstract intelligence. Reading a post on the Internet, you can hardly determine whether its author is adequate or not. Good language, impressive content, the ability to hold a discussion - the mosquito will not undermine the nose.
It gives only one thing - the direction of thoughts. Man sings death. And if you think logically: well, if he is so inspired by this topic, why is he now sitting on the Internet, so alive and so happy? But it is difficult to think logically when the work is done through emotions.
Another innate sonic ability is the ability to sense the lack of another person and play on his feelings. That is why teenagers who subscribe to death groups feel that only here their pain is understood. Understand understand - and use for their dirty purposes. The best of the best among our youth, carriers of the sound and visual vector, are deliberately destroyed. Who needs it and why is the topic of a separate article.
Conscious choice
Everyone knows that sooner or later, puberty ends. Only for someone it ends with a safe exit to society, but for someone else. How to find a way to a successful outcome?
If you are interested in this topic, then you are the owner of high intelligence, who, if desired, can weigh all the facts and find the right path. My story can serve as a good example of how we thoughtlessly, on emotions, can go completely the wrong way. Before listening to someone, think about what drives this person, what are the features of his psyche and his ultimate goals?
Vector systems psychology suggests: if you feel bad, do not look for those who will understand you. Better understand this world for yourself and start managing your life. We are all carriers of innate desires that drive our thoughts and actions. Recognizing a person by vectors, you can immediately determine what state he is in, what his motives are and how one should behave with him.
You don't even need to communicate with a person for this. He will show his very essence in everything - in the written word, in the selected picture, in the smallest manifestations. Vector systems psychology allows you to see these appearances instantly, giving you a clear understanding of who is in front of you. Knowing who you are and what you want can help you build positive interactions with others and avoid meeting psychopaths.
Here are just a few comments from people who dealt with suicidal thoughts after training:
My sincere advice to you is to study people and trust your life only to yourself. Remember that understanding, deep people do not hide their faces behind avatars.
If you want to learn more about vectors and learn to understand yourself and others, come to Yuri Burlan's free online lectures on systemic vector psychology. Register:
