In an attempt to escape from the beast. He hits, but I endure …
Unfortunately, such situations are not uncommon. Why is this relationship established? What to do in order to safely part with the sadist and get rid of bullying and humiliation forever?
Girls, help! I don't know what to do anymore. My ex is terrorizing me. We have not lived with him for three years, but even after the official parting, he does not give me a step. He constantly calls, watches at the entrance, checks where I am and with whom. We have known him for four years, we have a common child. But I don't need such a husband, and my son needs such a father. This scoundrel began to beat me on the second day after they met, constantly humiliated me, called me a whore … and a prostitute. And the next morning he asked for forgiveness and promised that this was the last time.
I hoped he would change, but things only got worse. When he found out that I was pregnant, he said that I had a baby. The beatings and humiliations became more frequent. And what is the punishment for me? Every man is crazy - cruel and jealous. Directly pathological bad luck, or are there only sadists?
Once, after another beatings, I still ran away from him with a child in my arms. She returned to her parents and slowly began to come to her senses. But he quickly found me and, threatening, began to demand meetings with me and the baby.
And the worst thing is that he is omnipresent and unpunished. All my statements about beatings were brought up under domestic quarrels and never had a continuation. I simply cannot refuse him, because I know that he is capable of harming me and my loved ones. The worst thing is when I realize that I seem to be attracted to him, despite all the bullying on his part. I'm afraid he'll strangle me someday, but I can't do anything.
With my sane mind, I understand that I need to run away from him. But how? I'm desperate. Is there a way out?
The beast and its victim
Unfortunately, such situations are not uncommon. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to understand why such relationships are established, and how to proceed in order to safely part with the sadist and get rid of bullying and humiliation forever.
System-vector psychology reveals the mental characteristics of each of us - this helps to see the situation as if from the inside, through the eyes of both sides, and find a way out. In this article, we will look at how an addiction to sadism arises - understanding the person who hurts you, you can largely alleviate the situation and prevent the irreparable.
We are born with a predetermined set of properties of the psyche, which form the character of a person, his abilities, interests, desires. As we grow up, we develop, but this development does not always happen correctly.
It may be hard to believe, but a person who brutally beats and humiliates his soul mate can by nature be the best husband and father. This is the owner of the anal vector, the life values of which are home, family, children. For him, his wife is the one and only woman. By nature, the owner of the anal vector is monogamous or monogamous, as they say.
He is attentive, neat, neat. Likes to tinker, does everything efficiently and slowly. Any haste confuses him, causes severe discomfort. The fact is that the thinking of such a person is analytical and takes time for this analysis. The psyche and the body create one whole, therefore he thinks slowly and does things slowly.
And interruption of business or haste introduces a person with an anal vector into stress and stupor. Especially when such a small anal boy is urged by his mother, who turned out to have other innate properties, properties of a fast skin vector.
What does mom have to do with it?
The harmony of the personality of an adult directly depends on the development and upbringing that he receives in childhood. For every child, a mother is a special person. It is from her that the baby gets a sense of safety and security during his growing up.
And for a child with an anal vector, mom is the most important person in life. He is especially attached to his mother. Each of her affectionate words and praise finds a simultaneous response in the heart and psyche of the baby. And every mother's reproach or discontent for a long time remains a heavy stone of resentment in his soul.
The roots of sadism
Resentment against the mother is often not recognized by adults, but it is she who inhibits the further development of a person. Having received less love, attention or praise from his mother in childhood, a person with an anal vector will always live with the feeling that something has not been given to him. Such a person can transfer negative experience in relations with his mother to his future relationship in a couple. Any unworthy behavior of the mother, which from the outside is regarded by the child with the anal vector as "dirty", will mirror his further attitude towards women.
A latent desire for revenge will push him to an unconscious desire to offend another person, first in a word, and then physically. Morally humiliating a woman, he will unconsciously respond to old grievances against his mother, thereby briefly relieving mental stress.
When the properties of the anal vector were not developed properly in childhood due to the fact that the mother did not pay attention to their development or suppressed them in the child, sadistic inclinations, criticism, the eternal search for flaws and the devaluation of other people's labor arise. This is an unconscious desire to dirty others, to denigrate, to make a fly in the ointment.
However, sadism is not always caused by the underdevelopment of the properties of the anal vector. A similar desire to align the biochemistry of the brain through causing pain, verbal or physical humiliation of another can occur in completely normal people as a result of prolonged non-realization of properties, social and / or sexual frustration.
Today, in the period of super-speeds and the predominance of skin material values, people with an anal vector have a particularly difficult time. It is difficult for them to fit into the fast pace of a modern city, to adapt to constant changes. Often they do not receive the praise and honor they deserve in the workplace, partially or completely losing social fulfillment. Dismissal or demotion can lead to certain frustrations, dissatisfaction, which a person tries to compensate, including through sadism.
However, not every woman tolerates beatings and bullying from her husband. The victims of domestic violence are most often people with a certain scenario, the owners of the skin vector.
Endure and enjoy
People with a skin vector are naturally very mobile. They are purposeful, dexterous, fast. Their delicate and sensitive skin enjoys stroking, hugging and massage. But punishing a small leatherman with a belt can ruin your whole life.
If parents physically punish a baby with a skin vector, then he may develop masochistic tendencies. System-vector psychology explains the process of formation in such a person of mental dependence on pain and humiliation.
A child with a skin vector suffers from physical abuse from adults (often parents with an anal vector) especially strongly, because his skin is incredibly sensitive. However, the flexible skin psyche forces him to adapt to any situation, so in response to pain, the brain begins to release natural opiates, and the child learns to enjoy the pain.
The same reaction occurs when verbal humiliation of a child with a cutaneous vector, who is naturally ambitious and always strives to be the first. Learning to take pleasure in physical pain and humiliation, the future adult skinner will unconsciously look for sources of failure, humiliation, beatings, and live a masochistic scenario.
A beaten and humiliated skin girl in the future tends to choose a man with sadistic inclinations in a pair. Unconsciously attracted to each other, in an effort to alleviate the consequences of childhood mental trauma, he will beat her for years, and she will endure.
The presence of a visual vector will strengthen the situation emotionally. A skin-visual woman will wind herself up in fear, again and again becoming a victim of violence, and an anal-visual husband, as a rule, a verbal sadist, will suffer from guilt and endlessly ask for forgiveness from her for yesterday's bullying. The strong emotional dependence that can arise between the owners of the visual vector can keep a couple for years in which each partner, despite the violence, will feel sorry for breaking off the relationship.
How to get out of a destructive scenario
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan helps to understand the reasons for such scenarios and unsuccessful relationships. Understanding your psyche and the true motives of your partner's behavior gives clear instructions for further actions. A woman ceases to be a victim, her unconscious desire for humiliation and pain disappears. She becomes capable of fulfilling and happy relationships without bullying or beatings.
One can get rid of sadistic and masochistic inclinations when a person realizes his natural destiny, finds the right social realization for himself, thereby getting rid of his frustrations. Here are just some of the positive results of those who shared their striking changes in life for the better after the training of Yuri Burlan:
It is important to know that as a result of Yuri Burlan's understanding of the reasons for his behavior at the training, it is possible to completely change the formed scenario. The desire for pain gradually goes away, the victim ceases to be a victim and no longer attracts the sadist, her relationship develops according to a new scenario, favorably.
After free online lectures on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan, you will have an idea of the different types of human psyche. You will be able to distinguish between people with anal and skin vectors, understanding what is hidden in the unconscious, which means that you will be able to consciously change your life.