The husband constantly humiliates. Divorce, endure or …
If the husband does not stoop to assault, does not scold with dirty words, then it is still possible to fix everything, return warmth and peace to the family. To do this, you need to look into his heart and understand the true reason for his behavior.
I have a good husband: reliable, hard-working, devoted to his family. Here's just one thing: we quarrel. He is always dissatisfied with something, insults, reprimands. For a trifle. I didn’t fry the meat - I didn’t put his mug in its place - I came late - where did I go?.. Today I screamed, because I had been “chatting” with my friend for a long time. Now sulking, ignoring. I never know what he will cling to next time. There is no longer the strength to endure.
Is it possible to return peace to the family, or you can't fix your husband and it's better to divorce? We will answer, relying on the knowledge of the training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.
What makes a loving husband a nitpick and a satrap?
If your husband grumbles and scolds, but there was a time when you were good together, then it is still possible to fix everything, return warmth and peace to the family. To do this, you need to look into his heart and understand the true reason for his behavior.
The owners of the anal vector can humiliate with a word. In fact, they are by nature the most caring and attentive husbands when they have harmony in their souls. But dissatisfaction can turn into baseless nagging and insults. Most often, he himself does not understand what exactly is wrong, but he cannot stop until he expresses everything that is painful, until he relieves his inner tension.
Where does it come from?
Reason # 1. Sexual and emotional dissatisfaction
He misses you. Your emotional response, your feelings, your love. He misses you as a woman. After all, even the strongest, smartest man is not able to open up and express himself fully, if there is no loving woman next to him who will inspire him to live and work, for the sake of which he will achieve new heights, make plans and implement them.
And a woman is often more accustomed to confiding in secrets with her friend, telling about a sore stranger companion, crying on her mother's shoulder, complaining to her sister. And discussing feelings with your husband … it is inconvenient, unusual, even sometimes ashamed. However, it is a sincere conversation, attention to each other's feelings that allows you to create an emotional connection. It is she who unites two people stronger than attraction and passion, stronger than joint business and everyday life. It is she who creates what is called love, makes the inseparable WE of two separate people.
Conversely, insufficient sensual connection impoverishes relationships, including intimate ones. The intercourse of two becomes boring, insipid, a burden, a duty … (underline the necessary). But a man with an anal vector is a strong libido. It is loyalty to a single woman. This is a sincere desire to please her, to please her.
When sexual and / or social dissatisfaction builds up, a person with an anal vector tends to hurt those they loved the most.
Therefore, when your husband is offended that you are spending time with your friend, mom, psychologist, he is in a sense right. He unconsciously feels that you are bringing something to a stranger that is given only for two. He feels how with each conversation you move away, destroy what binds you.
This does not mean that a woman cannot have friends or that she should stop communicating with her mother. This means that you should not splash emotions on the side. It is these few drops, lost along the way, that may not be enough to excite and inspire a spouse, to agree and solve a problem, to hear and be heard.
Carry the strongest, the most important to your chosen one. It cannot be ashamed. It is a shame not to have a good relationship of trust with her husband.
This may be strange for both of you at first. It’s not scary if you don’t succeed in achieving complete trust and understanding the first time, and even the second. It may take time, but it will be moving towards each other, and not vice versa. And the accumulated resentment, irritation, inconvenience will go away as you begin to get closer and better feel and understand each other.
Reason # 2. Social lack of fulfillment
It is very important for a man with an anal vector to succeed as a specialist, teacher or master of his craft. This is what gives confidence in the future and the recognition and respect it needs so much. Loss of a job, an inappropriate type of activity can lead to an accumulation of dissatisfaction and resentment, which are manifested by a tendency to criticism, a desire to hurt with words and even physically.
Reason # 3. Stress in the big city
The rhythm of a modern city is often too fast for the owner of the anal vector. Even if it also has a skin vector, even if it is adapted and implemented, it still takes a huge effort to fit into the high speeds of the 21st century. Did he hold back at work? Forced to do something faster than usual in negotiations? All the stress of the day can spill out at home.
How to be in this case? An understanding of his psyche will help here - unhurried, solid, a little clumsy. Do not create additional stress for him by unnecessary changes in his lifestyle: if he is used to the fact that the bedside table is to the left of the bed, and not to the right, you should not rearrange it. Should the linen be white, not floral? Let it be white, if it is so important to him.
Anal men love comfort and tradition. Create your own common traditions or restore the favorite traditions of his parents. Maybe his mother cooked borscht not with unleavened cabbage, but with sauerkraut? Did you not just boil potatoes, but make mashed potatoes? By the way, a common table, a leisurely conversation at dinner or lunch is a very good natural base for creating an emotional connection and a strong family. Don't neglect the opportunity to eat together at a beautifully set table, rather than snack on the go or alone. Let it even be just tea with sweets or morning coffee. Five minutes together can make your day, your week, your relationship.
Reason number 4. Lack of harmony in a woman's soul
A woman's bad mood is reflected in her husband. In fact, a man does everything for the sake of a woman. And it depends on her, on her unconscious request - whether he will go to conflict or rapprochement, whether he will build or destroy.
Of course, a woman also accumulates misunderstandings, dissatisfaction with life, resentment, irritation, perhaps even sound depression. And now she is no longer so happy to be a mistress, mother, wife, muse, she becomes indifferent to sexual relations.
This is where the training "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan comes to the rescue. At the training, you begin to deeply understand yourself and your loved ones, which means that the inner state is leveled, resentment and irritation pass away. And this changes everything - after the inner state of the woman, the state of the man is leveled (by the way, the state of the children too!). Has she become more cheerful and calm? In response, he becomes more benevolent, ready to make concessions. She began to react more emotionally to him as a woman, did she take more care of herself, arouse his desire? He "suddenly" finds a side job, makes plans instead of the usual dissatisfaction and sitting on the couch.
The training helps us to more deeply and accurately understand not only ourselves, but also a loved one, it becomes easier for us to speak, it becomes easier to build trusting, warm, open communication, it is easier to understand what worries him, and to find a way out together.
Hundreds of women talked about how they kept their families together and created a happy relationship:
“It turned out that we both tried our best to be a good husband and wife to each other, only in the wrong direction.:(Everyone did it through himself and was offended that he was not understood and appreciated, what he was doing. Now it is sad and funny to see it … Therefore, the main result was of course the preservation of our family and our love. The feeling that we are only now really saw and recognized each other, discovered each other for themselves. Love, like a polished lamp of Aladdin, shone and began to fulfill our desires. We became sensitive to each other's mental, to understand why each of us reacts in one way or another. Began to discuss controversial moments and come to a solution that suits both …
P / S Although I am going through the training, my husband has also experienced great changes. I look at him and see another person. I wait, as before, for the old reaction, but he does it differently. If they told me now: do you want your crisis to be gone and everything would remain the same in the relationship? I would answer no. I like my husband today more:), much more. What is now between us and what was then is heaven and earth."
Natalia D., psychologist Read the full text of the result
Everything is in your gentle female hands. The peculiarities of the psychology of people with an anal vector are already deeply understood at the free online lectures of Yuri Burlan, allowing you to find answers to many of your questions, get rid of mutual grievances and reproaches and know exactly where the exit is.
