Water and oil of the child's psyche. Developing counter properties in one child
What to develop - speed or quality, resourcefulness or perseverance, pragmatism or integrity?
How are opposite properties combined in a child, and how, by supporting one, not to harm the other?
Black and white in one bottle
“… It can be so different, just amazing. Sits draws, tries, dilutes paints, removes details, remodels, after a while he drops everything, starts to rush, jump, shout and throw everything! It is almost impossible to sit down to read, but if you are interested in the plot, it is quite capable of reading even a rather long story on your own. His room is just a territory of contrasts: either the dump is creepy, or the order is perfect."
Why does the child constantly go to extremes? From a fidget-shustrik to a slow treadmill and vice versa. Is this normal?
Is it possible to teach a child to find a middle ground?
What to develop - speed or quality, resourcefulness or perseverance, pragmatism or integrity?
How are opposite properties combined in a child, and how, by supporting one, not to harm the other?
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will help to understand the peculiarities of the child's psyche and choose the direction of raising a child.
Yes, a child can manifest opposite properties and desires, and this is not self-indulgence, these are the facets of his character, laid in him from birth. They can and should be developed as long as possible, namely until the end of puberty.
So different character traits of a growing personality are due to its psychological nature. Desires that are opposite in their essence are manifestations of the contradictory properties of the child's psyche - the owner of the anal and skin vectors.
The set of psychological properties is innate, and their manifestations, no matter how contrasting they may be, will not disappear with age or under the influence of upbringing. They can either develop and give the child the opportunity to fully realize himself in the future, or remain at a low level of development, at which the implementation becomes quite problematic or even forms a negative life scenario for the future adult.
Where is his button
The desires of each of the vectors require their own satisfaction, therefore, having filled the properties of one vector, the child switches to another, which may look like mood swings, whims or self-indulgence. In the saddest cases, parents begin to consult with child psychologists, psychiatrists or neuropathologists and even treat the child for himself.
This switching between vectors is especially noticeable in anal-skin babies, because the properties of these vectors are opposite to each other. For this reason, the difference in behavior is striking. Perseverance, concentration, the desire to finish the job, to do it perfectly, as the properties of anality, change over time to activity, mobility, the desire to win at any cost or to get it in any way, showing the child's skin vector.
In raising such a baby, it is very important to be able to distinguish between his states, to understand the features of the manifestation of each vector - both positive and negative. Systems thinking, which is formed in the course of Yuri Burlan's training in system-vector psychology, allows you to do this almost automatically, without hesitation. But the main thing is that a systematic approach to upbringing makes it possible to develop simultaneously the properties of both vectors, which at times expands the range of the child's abilities, his potential and the scope of his application in adult life.
Only one understanding of internal psychological mechanisms, sometimes manifesting themselves as contradictory behavior of the child, makes it possible to significantly increase the level of trust and mutual understanding between children and parents.
A clear understanding by the mother of which properties are manifested at a given moment in time allows the child's activities to be directed towards the development of the vector. For example, a job well done, even an attempt to make it so, needs obligatory praise, adequate to the effort invested. This has a beneficial effect on the development of the child's anal vector. For a little anal, praise is a pleasure, therefore, the manifestations of the properties of the anal vector require their recognition or gratitude from the mother. Any material reward cannot replace praise in this case, and even, on the contrary, will be superfluous.
On the other hand, satisfaction of skin desires, whether it be sports victories, the organization of teamwork, the solution of logical tasks, any rationalization ideas, should be marked with some kind of reward. It is better if it is not money, but travel, entertainment, and welcome gifts. Praise or gratitude does not matter to the skinner, but tangible gains are regarded as achieving their goal and stimulate the development of the skin vector. The differentiation of tasks separately for the cutaneous and anal vectors creates a solid foundation for the development of each of them.
We approach from different sides
When organizing classes for the development of the properties of the anal vector, we emphasize the responsibility of the baby, a thorough approach, the quality of work, mandatory completion, we emphasize his diligence, accuracy, ability to maintain and maintain order. It is important here not to set rigid time frames and not to rush the child, not to confuse the thoughts and not change the tasks. For an anal person, quality is always more important than speed. With this approach, we develop the ability to perform high-quality, complex and meticulous work, the compulsory completion of what has been started, the ability to concentrate and analytical thinking.
Developing the properties of the skin vector, we prepare dynamic tasks focused on logic, rational thinking, organizational skills, flexibility and resourcefulness. The regime, discipline, clear time frames, elements of competition and team play are important here. We always leave room for the child's initiative, support the search for new solutions, train the ability to find a compromise. We develop adaptability, the ability to quickly switch to different types of activities, perform several tasks at the same time, stimulate rationalizing thought, the construction of cause-and-effect relationships, self-discipline, logical thinking.
The division of tasks and remuneration provides for the same division of penalties for misdemeanors. First, we completely exclude physical punishment, they are absolutely ineffective and lead to the child's loss of a sense of security and safety. And for the owner of the skin vector, physical punishment is the strongest stress that stops his development at the most elementary level.
Secondly, the best punishment is the deprivation of the "carrot", that is, the deprivation of pleasure according to the vector. This means that an anal misconduct should be followed by the deprivation of praise and gratitude from the parents (you can explain how the child upset the mother), and for skin pranks there is a restriction in space or time (deprivation of entertainment, pocket money, etc.). Only in this way will understandable and effective conclusions be formed that determine the behavior of the baby in the future.
Developing in parallel such inherently contradictory vectors as anal and skin, the child retains the ability to easily and quickly switch between vectors for the rest of his life. Thanks to this, in different life situations, he will be able to use the corresponding properties, which are equally highly developed. The ability to quickly adapt to changing environmental conditions will successfully coexist with the ability to do your job efficiently, always bringing it to completion.
Today, the psychological difference between generations is becoming more and more tangible, which creates an additional problem in mutual understanding between children and parents. Many listeners talk about their changes in relations with children after undergoing training in systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan in their interviews on the reviews page. The result from the practical application of knowledge on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan does not keep itself waiting long, especially when working with children.
Work for results
Systemic education of the properties of any vector provides for the development in a child of the ability to receive pleasure from the realization of his properties for the benefit of other people, giving out a productive result of his activity, tangible and significant for society. Thus, the child learns to fill his own needs at the highest level of a modern social person, in demand by society, living a full life and able to feel pleasure from his work, creativity, relationships.
For each new generation of modern children, systemic education is becoming more and more important. This is due to an increase in temperament or the strength of desires in each vector from generation to generation. Having such a high potential, only with adequate education, taking into account its vector characteristics, does a child have a chance to develop the highest level, and therefore to realize the potential of such a force. In the opposite case, with a lack of realization in such a high temperament, the shortages threaten the same strength with suffering as with the pleasure from the filling of psychological properties.
A multi-vector child is not a problem, not a salad or strange changes in behavior, it is happiness and expanded opportunities in the future, if they are properly developed.
Your child's future is in your hands today. Improve your psychological literacy, apply systemic education in practice and get a noticeable and lasting result.
Register for the next free online lectures on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.
