How to stop using foul language
Mat is always about the sexual. The question of how to stop using foul language stands until we realize the full depth of the consequences of its use. How to wean off swearing when surrounded by abuse from childhood?
Mat is always about the sexual. All its variety is various derivatives of three basic words. The so-called "obscene triad": words about male, female genital organs and about what should be the most intimate, sublime, pure in our life - about intimacy with a loved one.
The question of how to stop using foul language stands until we realize the full depth of the consequences of its use.
Three stories from childhood
I was 6 years old. For the first time I heard a mat from Zhenya in the yard. He threatened another boy and said "this" so cockily. Hair stood on end, there was a feeling of something wrong, aggressive, shameful. I wanted to share my experiences with my mother, but the fear of saying "this" prevented me.
The next shock was to hear the whole phrase from the mat. It overtook me in the elevator - to escape, there was nowhere to hide. Anka saw the impression the words made on me, and with a smug smile she repeated them over and over again. I pressed myself against the wall, tried to cover my ears, and her jubilant face was getting closer. The elevator took forever.
The final blow was the situation at home. For the first time I heard a mate from my mother. She was angry, terribly angry. I was taken aback, did not find what to answer, but inside, it seems for the first time, I was disappointed in my mother.
Alas, despite the first shock, over time, obscene words became familiar to me. How to wean off swearing when surrounded by abuse from childhood?
Personal use
I wondered why we use mat and what does it help to express?
- Be no worse than others. In the company of brutal guys or fellow sharks, you want to at least not be worse, and, if possible, show what you are worth. But the vocabulary is not enough to express a thought in the moment and not fall from the height set by the company. A "universal" language comes to the rescue, familiar to everyone, like me, from childhood. We see that checkmate somehow makes an impression, and, not always assessing the risks correctly, we continue to use it.
- Amplify emotion. Another attempt to use mate to benefit your speech. Even if the three-story one is not a constant companion of our vocabulary, sometimes we are willing to consciously insert a strong word in order to heighten the attention of the listeners and emotionally emphasize a special moment in the story.
- I want to joke, but I don’t know the words. This feature was suggested to me by a close person. He noticed that there are rare people who like to amuse others. Such people talk a lot and incessantly, and in this verbal firing the leitmotif is mate. These are people with a special mentality: a desire to change tastes in food and a tendency to lie for the sake of a catchphrase.
- Dissatisfaction. But the most common case is not just an example about "hitting the door with the little finger", but the one when the mat systematically and confidently enters our speech and becomes an instrument for expressing the accumulated anger, aggression, hostility.
When a person wants, wants and wants again, but does not receive, the psyche accumulates a charge of dissatisfaction, the person becomes angry, irritable, unhappy: “I want to rest, but I have to go to work; I want a car with a house, but there is no money even for a communal apartment; I want to be useful to society, but I am bent at work, where my values are not recognized. Over time, internal dissatisfaction manifests itself outward, and the mat can slip out of our mouths at work, with friends, at home with children.
We especially often express our sexual frustrations with obscenities. They accumulate when we cannot trust our partner in intimacy, relax and open up in sex, we are ashamed of our desires, we forbid ourselves to want, we are afraid of our sexual fantasies. The inability to realize sexual needs in the way we really would like it, crushes dissatisfaction. Self-confidence falls, joy disappears from life.
What is mate talking about
Using obscene words, a person unconsciously speaks about what he lacks, and psychoanalysis clearly defines what it is - about what kind of unrealized sexual desire he shouts to the world.
By sexuality we mean not only an intimate attraction, but also the degree of development of feelings, a cultural layer in a person.
If you observe, you will notice that the owners of a rigid, unbending psyche and carriers of traditional family values, in their strong frustrations, tend to use mate precisely in the designation of "dirty, fallen woman." Thus, we understand that a person is deeply dissatisfied with his sex life, has a deep resentment against women.
Bearers of a flexible psyche - nimble, mobile, inclined to business and building relationships with people based on benefits and benefits - use obscene expressions meaning genitals. You listen and sympathize: how does a person want to realize their entrepreneurial talent, their sexuality, especially sensitive to gentle caresses, but there are no opportunities, and all attempts are just a series of failures. Here we also easily determine what status a person is in and how successfully he or she is moving up the social ladder.
The problem that no one knows about is that the mat brings to light what should remain a mystery hidden from outsiders. When the words "about this" are heard publicly, the most intimate, cherished, sacred that happens between a man and a woman is devalued. The consequences are disastrous. Sexual relationships cease to fill, no matter how you try to improve or diversify them.
Awareness of the essence of obscene words, a deep understanding of what a person's sexuality is, allows you to abandon the mat. After all, we always choose what brings us more pleasure. By revealing for ourselves sexuality, our own and our partner, the peculiarities of each other's desires, we become able to build a happy relationship in a couple. When the sex life is full, the relationship with the beloved is established and we are truly satisfied in this basic need - the desire to use mat disappears naturally. It becomes clear how to wean oneself from the mat without the need to shame oneself and beat on the lips.
How to stop swearing
Man is a sensual and conscious form of life. It is important for us to feel and be aware of what is happening.
In the context of how to stop using mate, it is about increasing the ability to recognize your feelings, consciously experience and be able to call them with the exact word. The clearer the word gets into the meaning of what is happening, the more clarity it brings into our life. Not a three-story mat, but “It hurts. I am disappointed. I feel insignificant. " Not a stingy semantic stock of four words of all the famous swearing, but "I am furious with these words of the boss", "I am wildly angry when my things are not in their places."
In this case, we not only feel, but also realize what is happening to us. There is not only a release of emotions outward, but also an analytical process that has a psychotherapeutic effect. After all, a word can not only aggravate the problem, but also bring it back to normal, heal a person's mental state.
For the development of a sensual form, inner spiritual wealth, we recommend:
- Read classic fiction and improve your vocabulary. With more words, you will be able to better understand your feelings, states and describe them more clearly. And the reading itself focuses on the characters, their feelings and lives, which makes your own inner world richer.
- Allow yourself to feel and express emotions. We are interesting to ourselves and to other people when we honestly live our life. To do this, it is necessary to practice psychological hygiene: to show emotions "environmentally" for yourself and others, to understand the reason for their occurrence and give them the right to life.
Listen to free lectures of the training "System-Vector Psychology" by Yuri Burlan. Become aware of the peculiarities of your psyche and sexuality, as well as the influence of the mat on them. Yuri Burlan's "System-Vector Psychology" provides comprehensive information about the mental characteristics and natural disposition of each person, a clear answer how to fill oneself in such a way as to get the most affordable pleasure from life. In this situation, the need to use the mat disappears by itself.
What is it like to feel satisfied, full of vitality and inspiration? In the morning, kiss your relatives with love and happily spend the weekend with them, boldly speak out at a work meeting and generate new ideas, get joy from simple things. What is it like to boldly live your any states, emotions and feelings, sharing them with loved ones? How does it feel to feel calm and balanced when you only want to say warm words?
Lack of love and a sense of security makes us talk, scream, swear about our pain. And for this we use a method known from childhood - mat. However, it is not the ability to be rude, offend or humiliate that makes us truly satisfied and happy, but the ability to be as successful as possible in life. Today there are all the keys to this.
The full result can be read here …>
