Children's whims and tantrums: what to do?
What a common picture: mom said something wrong to the baby - and now he is already beating in hysterics. She didn't give him his favorite toy - and again rivers of tears, a cry at the whole Ivanovo and even outbursts of anger …
What a common picture: mom said something wrong to the baby - and now he is already beating in hysterics. She did not give him his favorite toy - and again rivers of tears, a cry at the whole Ivanovo and even outbursts of anger. Loud crying attracts everyone's attention, and her son's hysterical antics cause a whisper of disapproval. Mom is lost with shame. Or, in his hearts, he slaps him on the buttocks, provoking a new wave of crying …
Often children's whims and tantrums simply throw us off balance. We are nervous with the child, worry about his emotional stability, get tired of screaming and noise, get angry because of the increased attention of others.
What are we adults to do with these children's whims and tantrums? How to react to them correctly? How to prevent their appearance? Just give in and wait for everything to pass by itself, or do you somehow act?
Children's tantrum children's tantrum discord
It is important for any parent to understand the following: children's tantrums can be very different. And it is worth learning to distinguish them from each other. Take a closer look: maybe your child is trying to manipulate you through his emotions? Or maybe he has real grief, and he needs your support more than ever?
To clearly see and understand the reasons for the behavior of your child, and even more so for hysterics, will help the knowledge of the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. How? Explaining the nature of children with different vectors, their real needs and unconscious desires. About which children themselves know nothing, but which parents can learn about today. Learn and use wisely in education.
So, back to our children's whims and tantrums. What is this anyway? Dictionaries give the following wording: hysteria is an agitated and extremely nervous state that leads to loss of composure, is expressed by loud sobs with screams and screams. Yes, this is what we find most often among children 2, 3 and 4 years old.
If we take this definition as a starting point, it is worth noting immediately that such behavior is characteristic only of children of one - visual - vector.
How do you know if your child has a visual vector? It is quite easy to calculate it: such a child from early childhood is very observant, curious, greedy for new knowledge, actively reacts to color and smell. This baby is very emotional: his violent delight can be replaced by loud crying, and joy - by fright.
A kind of small consumer and "producer" of emotions. An emotional troglodyte. Moreover, the thirst for strong feelings is in its nature. And this thirst must be constantly quenched. Another question is what these feelings will be and how they will contribute to the development of the child.
One of the strongest negative feelings that inhibit the development of the little "eyeball" is the feeling of fear. Whether fears will possess his soul or not depends on the parents and the methods of their upbringing …
Do you see your child's tantrum at age 2? Most likely, the reason for this behavior is that the baby lacks a sensual connection with his mother. He lacks those positive emotions that he needs so much. A tantrum is a baby's attempt to attract the attention of the most important person in his life.
Hysterics can also happen when a beloved animal dies, with severe fright, with any stress. And always at the base of fear - a deep, often not realized by the child himself - fear of losing protection, fear for his life.
What to do during tantrums?
How should mom behave during children's whims and tantrums? Continue to communicate with your child in an even voice, as if you do not notice his crying and crying. In no case ignore, but do not respond to the tantrum with your violent reaction.
Why? If you rush to hug him, there is a risk that the baby will continue to use this behavior - in order to regularly receive his portion of attention from you. If you start scolding him or, even worse, using physical force (even in the form of light spanking), the child will at least lose confidence in you, at the most, more severe manifestations of stress will appear.
How to prevent this behavior in a child with a visual vector? The answer is very simple: give your baby maximum positive emotions. The most important for him in the form of communication with his mother. It does not have to be some hours of sitting in an embrace with your child. Not! You can participate in joint games, walk around interesting places for the baby, read books, go to visit, and so on. That is, just to be there when the child needs it. And then children's tantrums at 3 years old and later will be unfamiliar to you.
Attracting attention to yourself through hysterics in early childhood is still normal. But to arrange such emotional blackmail to a teenager or an adult is not at all. Such tantrums are evidence of the underdevelopment of the visual vector, they are dangerous because in some cases a teenager can even commit suicide. And the task of the parents is to prevent this by properly developing the natural properties of their child.
Other children's tantrums
If a child is capricious, this does not always indicate fears and manipulations of the visual vector. Any person has the right to react negatively to fatigue, hunger, illness, lack of sleep, overexcitement. The kid may cry or get angry if something does not work out for him, if they cannot understand him in any way. If you put too much pressure on him …
So, children's tantrums at 4 years old can occur if a child cannot remember a verse given in kindergarten, if he could not catch the ball, if he did not manage to perfectly cut a circle out of paper … There may be a lot of reasons.
The system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan will again help us to understand what will allow the baby to forget about grief. By understanding what caused your child's behavior, you can quickly deal with the disorder.
What if the little "skinny" is angry? Invite him to play a ball or some other similar game. A child with a skin vector may have enough physical activity to quickly calm down and do an interesting job. If he is already very aroused, try giving him a stroking massage to relax him.
How to deal with childish tantrums in children with anal vector? In general, these children are not so emotional and hardly lose their temper. They may be offended or stubborn - and such states may well be accompanied by crying. It will be possible to reassure such a child if you deal with his internal state.
Why is he stubborn? After all, children with an anal vector are the most obedient and "golden". Perhaps you should stop pushing or rushing him. Why is offended? Apparently, there is a feeling that he was "underdone" in something. So, you should restore justice.
Babies with a urethral vector do not fall into hysterics. However, you can provoke their anger, which to a person who is not familiar with child psychology, it will seem simple whims. Children with a urethral vector need to be raised in a special way, without pressure and the use of their parental authority. Any framework and limitations of the free "urethra" will end in outbursts of anger on the part of your little leader, and your attempts to reason with him - in failure.
All these are just some illustrations of how you can differentiate vectors in your children, and then, thanks to such differentiation, find the right approach to their upbringing. Tantrums are not an easy topic. And their presence always indicates some kind of trouble, some kind of internal discomfort in the little person. And it's good if the reason lies only in excessive childish emotionality.
