Gender identity: is there a choice and what is it?
If gender is given biologically, then why does a man with a penis suddenly refuse to be a man, while a man with a breast strives for this? And if the gender can be assigned, then why does the body not rebuild and transgender people retain masculine abilities that women do not (this is noticeable, for example, in sports)? Why does it feel like nature gave the body the wrong sex, and why are Western psychologists wrong? What's happening? However, the question remains open: what actually determines gender identity?
Can I choose my gender deliberately? I would like to. Striving for unity and freedom, we designate ourselves as asexual and raise our children in a “neutral” way. Physiological predestination is almost canceled by sex reassignment surgery.
However, the question remains open: what actually determines gender identity?
If gender is given biologically, then why does a man with a penis suddenly refuse to be a man, while a man with a breast strives for this? And if the gender can be assigned, then why does the body not rebuild and transgender people retain masculine abilities that women do not (this is noticeable, for example, in sports)? Why does it feel like nature gave the body the wrong sex, and why are Western psychologists wrong?
What's happening?
On the one hand, our subjective sensations are the most real reality that we know. On the other hand, there is a body with its chromosomes and sex characteristics that cannot be ignored. On the third, we are inseparable from society with its traditions and stereotypes, on which we also depend. Any discrepancy between these components creates a conflict that causes discomfort or even suffering.
Defining gender identity
She is not a woman, she is a director. Gender concept
Remember the temporarily sexless heroine of The Office Romance? It was only for us that her disclosure as a woman was the culmination and a happy ending. Western feminists would be unhappy with the "objectification of women" - as they call female sex appeal - and would consider Novoseltsev a sexual exploiter.
In terms of gender identity, we see a dramatic shift from undifferentiated gender identity to feminine in the film.
Gender, in simple terms, is our collective beliefs about which behavior, appearance, and place in society are masculine and which are feminine. These are stereotypes that reflect our expectations about how a person should behave among other people.
Freedom: from society or from nature?
The concepts of masculinity and femininity were formed in the early stages of our evolution, they were preserved and transmitted unchanged until the last century. The explosion of female sexuality suppressed for millennia and the appearance of a previously unknown type of feminine men could not but be reflected in the mass consciousness. Culture has been enriched with new images, science - with concepts and approaches.
The opposition of social gender to innate originated in the West as an attempt to get away from biological predetermination with the intention of realizing freedom of choice and will.
Feminist ideologues proclaim the inherent equality of men and women, and gender is considered a limiting imposed characteristic. The woman's struggle for the right to leave the kitchens into the big world has reached the point of trying to rebuild this world. Feminist parties set themselves the goal of deliberately constructing a new society instead of the wrong, in their opinion, society.
The only thing they didn’t take into account was that human interaction continues to be regulated by unconscious mechanisms. And in order to gain real freedom of choice, it is necessary, first of all, to realize the nature, which is hidden and continuously living by us.
Gender Identity: Two Views
The urethral-muscular mentality that has developed in Russia is basically closer to nature, and for us the discrepancy with nature is perceived as erroneous and causes sensory rejection. In Russian science, social sex is associated with biological, and the norm is the coincidence of gender self-determination with physiology, that is, positive gender identity.
From the point of view of the pragmatic West striving for any standardization, our society is more traditional and even archaic. For a rational Western mentality, the issue of gender identity is just another social problem that can and should be resolved consciously.
Where is the truth?
On the one hand, Western loyalties that fully justify and support the right of transsexuals and homosexuals to an unconventional privacy and happiness deserves to be adopted. On the other hand, nature really does not make mistakes, and if you dig deeper, gender identity problems are nevertheless generated by society, not nature. People of the third sex, transgender and transsexual are not born. And redrawing the floor at the first sensation of the child causes bewilderment.
Types of gender identity. What's the difference?
Ladies, gentlemen and others
Two types of gender identity have long been insufficient to describe the real state of affairs. In addition to the traditional feminine and masculine, the researchers also identified androgynous and undifferentiated gender identities.
What is called masculinity and femininity coexist more and more happily in one person. Observations show that together they can be more or less pronounced in each individual case - hence the division into androgynous and undifferentiated. Androgynes are people with strong characteristics of both sexes.
The fashion for androgyny has been a steady trend for the past few decades. In the Russian hinterland, not fully involved in the values of Western mass culture, feminine-looking boys can even be beaten, and in the civilized world, these fragile angel-like young men become stars and sex symbols. By the way, most of them are in relationships with women, become fathers. Despite the outward similarity with the weaker sex, these are real men. As well as a masculine appearance, women are real women.
Androgynous twins. The root of the similarities and differences
Tilda Swinton is a recognized icon of androgynous aesthetics, who played Orlando, who was both a man and a woman, as a twin, similar to David Bowie and who played him too, - the most that neither is a woman, a mother of two children. Like David himself, the androgynous trendsetter is a real man, husband and father.
What makes Tilda and David so similar? After all, not only height, hairstyle and provocative outfits?
Psyche!
Tilda Swinton and David Bowie are "vector twins." Both have sound, visual and cutaneous vectors. The skin-visual ligament in a man makes him demonstrative, artistic and "feminine", the skin-sound combination in a woman makes her "masculine" and strict. Since the psyche is primary relative to the body, then the physique, and the pace of movement, and the manners of people with the same set of vectors in the same state are also identical.
Similar miraculous similarities can be seen, for example, in the villages. Muscular grandfather and muscular grandmother are like a reflection of each other. One physique, one gait, one desires, which means one character. But at the same time, he is an undoubted man, and she is an unconditional woman.
Stereotypes are outdated - it's time to get to know who you are
A vector is a set of innate desires and properties - this is the basis for the formation of both body and character.
Vector properties are given equally to men and women, and the difference in their manifestation depends more on the level of development than on gender. Any human property is a vector property, not a gender one. Therefore, such a confusion.
Tenderness is a property of the skin vector, sensitivity, sensitivity - of the visual one. Their combination makes a man feminine in our perception, if this perception is based on stereotypes.
What is the root of the difference between masculine and feminine? The female psyche is receiving, the male psyche is giving. The root desire of a woman is to receive security and safety, alimony and offspring from a man. A man receives all the most important - pleasure from orgasm, the opportunity to prolong himself in time - from a woman. For this, 95% of men are ready for anything - even murder and death. The male psyche is a desire for a woman.
The skin-visual boy has the same desire for a woman. He does not have the ability to kill, but he has his own request for security and safety due to the lack of a species role. This distinguishes him from 95% of men.
Skin-visual men are real men, both in body and soul. They are just new to society and new to themselves. Without understanding the root of the differences, these anti-brutal representatives of humanity themselves may mistakenly decide that they are not men or not quite men.
Fatal mistakes, like background discomfort in life, can be easily avoided by understanding the meaning of the properties given by nature, which make us so different or so similar.
"Everyone has their own flaws" (c)
And most importantly - an ineradicable desire to be happy at all costs. A developed society has given everyone the right to happiness, and nature has given all the necessary properties.
Gender dysphoria is a marker. On an individual level, a marker that there is unconscious unprocessed pain in the soul. At the level of society, this is evidence of our ignorance of ourselves and of how to harmoniously raise children.
Along with the problems of gender self-determination, a person definitely experiences unconscious fears and / or an insoluble internal conflict, and in our country there is also an unbearable shame for what he did not choose.
Realization of your nature gives happiness. And everyone is worthy of happiness and can get it in full, with any peculiarities.
Sexuality and gender identity
Why does the perceived gender not always correspond to the biological one, and the biological one does not always correlate with the attraction?
Human sexuality has vector-based characteristics and, with favorable development, leads to the formation of heterosexual men and women. The more innate vectors a person has, the more shades of his sexuality.
Homoerotic attraction and homosexual orientation, as well as negative gender identity, is always a consequence of the characteristics of psychosexual development.
The first contenders for homosexuality are ideally masculine, even brutal, men with an anal vector. Naturally gifted with a double libido, with strong frustrations, they can feel an irresistible sexual attraction to people of the same sex. Most often - to skin-visual boys.
Skin-visual boys often have intimate relationships with men. Only they are no longer guided by attraction, but by an unconscious search for a sense of security and safety. They use their sexuality to preserve themselves, albeit with a man. Non-brutal, non-aggressive, they often assign themselves the opposite sex, in fact, being full-fledged men.
As for women, they do not have homosexuality - they have homoeroticism. Attraction to the same sex can occur either between the urethral and the skin-visual, or in sound women. In the first case, both women had mental trauma during childhood, which affected their adult relationships with the opposite sex (and with persons of the same sex). In such a pair, the urethral woman dominates. In principle, it is not limited by any prohibitions and is open to any experiments. If in childhood her psyche was seriously suppressed, she forms a certain complex, as a result of which she does not want to be a girl and unconsciously plays out a male scenario. He competes with men and tries to prove his rank. Including enters into a relationship with a woman - with a skin-visual woman, a natural couple for an urethral man. The sound girl with an unrevealed and unrealized desire to be filled with meanings goes into denial of her natural gender as a saving idea. Being depressed, not feeling a connection with her own body and attraction to the opposite sex, she decides that nature has mistakenly put her soul in the wrong place.
Anal-sound girls are attracted to each other for equality of properties. The anal vector is characterized by an irresistible desire to create a family, which can be hindered by all the same sound voids. It is not uncommon for a woman to see herself in union with a man because of negative experience, which is of particular value in the anal vector. As a result, these girls live with each other.
These drives are formed as a result of unsatisfactory realization of the sound vector - at the level of ideas. And like any idea, they are a substitute (sublimant) for the work of the sound vector. As soon as the possibility of adequately filling their sound desires opens up, the ideas of sex change and the creation of lesbian relationships disappear by themselves.
The potential of the sound vector is realized according to its intended purpose - spiritual comfort and acceptance of oneself as a woman in their natural role returns, there is an opportunity to receive satisfaction from life in traditional relationships.
It is impossible to show the entire palette of human sexuality in one article. It consists of all the features of the psyche. The psyche is complex - we have several vectors, different experiences, and most importantly, the conditions for growing up. There can be many reasons for failures and breakdowns, we have shown only a part.
Everyone can reveal all their characteristics and cause-and-effect relationships of their formation independently at the training of Yuri Burlan "System-vector psychology". The psychoanalytic work done in the training is therapeutic and, together with the awareness of the roots of discomfort, brings relief and joy. This applies both to those who experience difficulties in gender self-determination and to those who are affected or interested in this topic.
Gender identity and parenting. "Men don't cry" and other dangerous misconceptions
The script of adult life is written in childhood. It is written by those who educate us, our experience and environment - on the basis of innate nature.
Why is so-called "neutral" education harmful? Children learn everything. Get involved. Often even in something that is contrary to nature. There is a huge risk of passing on fatal misconceptions to children simply by showing them. It is even more dangerous to teach and deliberately impose destructive ideas on future people. Such as choosing who to be - a boy or a girl.
The psyche is not only sexual and is divided into male and female - it is eight-vector. Like "neutral" upbringing, ignoring innate vector features is harmful, since it prevents the development of what needs development.
Not all visual-skinned boys enter into relationships with men. But they are all tender and emotional from birth, and these properties must be properly developed, like any other natural properties. Correct - how is it?
The primal fear of death given from birth to all visual people - the fear of being eaten - must be transformed into the ability to sympathize and compassion. If this is not done and, God forbid, frighten the visual child, then the properties will remain insufficiently developed and, not being able to bring emotions out, a person will get used to fear for himself.
In the most developed state, visual people are the best educators, doctors and artists in the broadest sense. These are humanists who love all of humanity and are ready to give their lives for another. If fear is fixed by a ban on the expression of feelings, horror stories and attempts to retrain for harshness and aggression, then instead of talent, the person will have fears. It is they who push to search for a defender in the person of a man or protection that a person unconsciously seeks to get in a woman's underwear or a woman's body.
More often, parents, and indeed adults, seeing heightened sensitivity and tearfulness in a boy, try to balance these traits with something opposite: they send them to the wrestling section and forbid those who need to cry to cry. When the most appropriate, the recommended circle for him is theatrical or musical.
Reading sentimental - but not scary! - stories, deep fiction, creating warm ties first with loved ones, and then with less close ones, playing different lives in a theater studio, a skin-visual boy learns to feel the pain of another as his own, to fear for another, to empathize. He does not have a destructive fear for himself, which means that there is an opportunity to provide himself with security and safety through realization in society, without the need to surrender to the first who expresses a desire to take care of him.
Skin-visual boys are the only men without a specific role, it is easier for them to communicate with girls, since there is no need to rank among them. Because of their dissimilarity and shyness, such children can be persecuted in the children's team, and to prevent such a scenario, competent participation of adults, a strong emotional connection with the family and all the same skill to bring emotions out so as not to be afraid are necessary. Fear attracts aggressors.
Independent and brave girls are special in their own way. Attempts to make an obedient and meek pupa out of an unlimited, courageous urethral girl, to forcefully subordinate to elders are harmful, like any influence contrary to nature.
Urethral altruistic properties cannot be understood without specialized knowledge, and well-meaning parents try to limit it.
It is impossible to restrict the urethral spirit alone, and the traditional educational process instead of the directing one takes the form of suppression. And if during normal development the urethral girl grows into a generous and generous woman, wife and mother, then the depressed one becomes aggressive and runs the risk of getting stuck trying to prove her "natural rank" - primarily through the connection with the ranked skin-visual girl.
Grievances that prevent adults from creating a couple also originate in childhood. The property to be offended is not given to everyone, this is one of the traits of people with an anal vector - people who are memorable and fair. In their understanding, justice has the form of equality, and if in childhood there was less love and praise than trying to deserve love, then a stone remains in the soul and the whole world is seen as unfair.
With such a perception, a person repeatedly unconsciously falls into situations that confirm the injustice of the world. Generalizable people with an anal vector can get stuck in negative adult experiences. Faced with dishonesty once, it is the anal man who decides that all women are windy or all men are scoundrels.
And even in such a case, you can be vaccinated in childhood. First, with a favorable development of properties, a person has more opportunities for implementation, and therefore, stress resistance and happiness. And most importantly, having the skill of perceiving others in an eight-dimensional volume - from the inside, as they are - we are protected from both false expectations and bad experiences. Children learn systems thinking quickly and easily.
We are developing. And we are in a state of puberty on a scale of all mankind. Therefore, sound specialists, even properly educated and maximally developed, for the most part have a hard time. The worldwide epidemic of depression and suicide is proof of this.
The sound mutation is the latest of the eight. The sound desire - to know oneself and to reveal the cause of everything - is not something that has not been revealed, it has not even been realized by everyone yet. And even if a person grew up in silence, learned to focus on the outside world, developed their brains by reading and math, at some point he may feel an inner emptiness that suppresses all desires.
Sound desires are so voluminous that their dissatisfaction suppresses everything that is most vital. It is depression, as a result of a huge internal question without an answer, that causes such a strong rejection of their own physiology in girls that they are ready to change their sex.
A deep understanding of oneself and the world will be a salvation from a fatal mistake and from depression for the sound engineer. Awareness of the source of any desires and states, an understanding of the perspectives on the scale of man and humanity will give the fulfillment for which nature has created an abyss in the soul.
Today, unconditional love and well-meaning are not enough to raise happy people. Ignorance of the structure of the psyche hurts the fate of those we are raising. Of course, a person of any gender, of any orientation can and should be happy, including in his personal life. This is one of the main sources of inspiration for a person. But not everywhere and not always society is favorable to the same homosexual relationships. In Russia, this phenomenon continues to cause strong irrational hostility. Therefore, it is better not to complicate the life of children.
The happiness of a conscious choice
Can I choose my gender deliberately?
This choice will be correct, that is, truly happy, when consciousness is consistent with the unconscious.
When a person really knows himself, knows his nature, which means that true desires - cross-gender ideas do not arise.
Everything has been given to us to be absolutely happy right now. Awareness of their innate properties in their entirety makes life brighter, happier, richer.
Understanding the roots of non-traditional gender identity can help those who are affected by it to free themselves from the negative charge, realizing that people do not always have a choice. We do not choose where and when to be born, we do not choose either the psyche, or parents, or childhood.
For some, an understanding of cause-and-effect relationships will help determine their own gender. Someone who has already made a choice is to get rid of the discomfort. And for someone - to save others from discomfort and their own dislike, who, like everyone else, want and deserve happiness, no matter what orientation they are.
