Communication with people: I hate, but I must
We communicate with people in order to get something: information, a portion of attention, a service, an emotion. Seven vectors need this: when communicating, the skinner gets valuable news, the oral person enjoys his own eloquence, the viewer gets attention, the owner of the anal vector gets praise and respect, and everyone is happy.
But does the sound engineer need that?
Good for the bear. One. In a dark den. Got it - growled. Tired of - fell asleep. You can not eat or shave for a long time. Hermit's happiness. Unlike a bear, a person has to wipe his eyes in the morning, crawl out of bed, trudge to work, but the worst thing is that he has to talk to people, trying to convey something to them. But they still don't understand. So what's the point in trying?
Why do some people have no desire to communicate? Why is it so difficult for others to understand them? They are different from 95% of the world's population. So can they learn to communicate with people without breaking themselves?
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan explains the reasons for the reluctance of these "Martians" to come into contact with earthlings and finds ways to change the situation without harming the psyche.
The reasons for the unsociability of sound people
We communicate with people in order to get something: information, a portion of attention, a service, an emotion. Seven vectors need this: when communicating, the skinner gets valuable news, the oral person enjoys his own eloquence, the viewer gets attention, the owner of the anal vector gets praise and respect, and everyone is happy.
But does the sound engineer need that? Not at all. The interests of the owner of the sound vector cannot be satisfied with everyday conversation, in it he does not find anything that might seem more important to him than his own thoughts.
Sound people have different priorities. What is their feature?
• Values and aspirations
Most of the values lie in areas related to other people:
- move up the career ladder
- create a happy family
- become the soul of the company
- find a best friend
- to love and to be loved
- be a respected professional, etc.
To achieve all this, a person needs to build effective communication in a team, in a family, in a couple. And knowing what kind of joy the result will bring, a person is willingly involved in the communication process.
The sound engineer has a sphere of interests somewhere in the abstract plane:
- to comprehend your I and the laws of the world order
- find out the root cause and purpose of everything
- understand the meaning of your life
Who can answer these questions for a sound engineer? Does anyone, besides the sound specialists, suffer, not finding the meaning of life? And the illusion is created that only within himself will he be able to unearth the answers to the questions gnawing at him.
• Earned connections
Unconsciously realizing that it is possible to fulfill their desires only in harness with others, for millennia people have been developing and debugging ties with each other. As a result, the dermal ones invented and instilled in others the law and trade relations, the visual - sympathy and love, etc.
The desires of the sound engineer are concentrated within themselves. It seems to him that he does not need others at all. But you have to communicate anyway. Bosses, wives, husbands, parents, children, neighbors, friends - everyone needs something from you all the time. And you want to focus on your thoughts and internal states.
• I write two, one in my mind, or a dialogue within myself
Accustomed to dialogue, basically only inside his head, the sound engineer, and during a rare conversation with others, behaves as if the interlocutor is aware of everything that is happening in his thoughts. He does not bother himself with explanations and introductions.
They pulled him out of his thoughts - and you will get a fragment of the thought he was thinking at that moment in a form that was not adapted for a non-sound engineer. Whether you understand it or not, it doesn't really matter to him. It is hardly possible to call it effective and pleasant communication.
A guide to communicating with people for audio professionals
Man is a social being, alone he is fragmentary and imperfect. And no matter how difficult it may seem to build connections with people, it is thanks to them that a feeling of fulfillment and joy from life appears.
After all, only recognizing the psyche of others, the sound engineer in comparison realizes himself, his I, his place in the world. Understanding himself and others, he easily finds a common language. After all, focusing outside, on other people, allows you to form thoughts that he can easily convey to others. Until this happens, he feels himself locked in a cocoon of his thoughts and states. That is why he suffers greatly, not being able to realize his potential, including to convey to others his ideas and thoughts.
Here are some ways to make communication with people voluminous, fun and enjoyable for both parties:
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Realize with the help of knowledge in system-vector psychology that people differ in their needs, properties, values, and build communication accordingly. Everyone has their own innate desires and goes to their fulfillment as best he can.
Someone talks incessantly because it gives him joy. He was created that way.
And you are created to listen and concentrate. There is no point in squeezing words out of yourself. But listening and hearing people (and much more than they say) - this can be interesting to the seeking sound mind. Then, perhaps, you will want to say something in response. A little, but significant.
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To be able to choose an approach to others according to their properties of the psyche.
Knowing exactly who you are talking to and what he is able to hear and perceive, you will no longer “bark” with a “bird” and “meow” with a “fish”. For everyone there is the right approach, which means that communication will become meaningful.
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Track and share what you just thought and what you want to say.
We say to be understood. This means that in some cases you need to be prepared for what will have to be explained. What if you don't treat it as an annoying factor, but as an intellectual problem?
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Discover the taste of communicating with those who think in your categories.
When the sound engineer acquires a taste for life, when he begins to notice interestingness in other people, then more and more opportunities open up for the full discovery of communication. And here already flight, space and mutual space are guaranteed! About anything and whenever you want, even at 5 am, at least on another planet.
After Yuri Burlan's training, many who had previously withdrawn into themselves learned to get tremendous pleasure from communicating with people. This is how they themselves say it:
To feel from communicating with people not irritation, but interest, enjoy your train of thought from contact with others, see the interlocutor's eyes full of understanding in response to your remarks - you can learn this at the training on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan.
To finally feel the joy of the depth of communication, register for free nightly online lectures on system-vector psychology by Yuri Burlan here.
