Family and love under one roof - myth or reality?
Unquenchable passion and tender love? A bunch of kids, a big house and a garden? Joint business or creativity? Swan fidelity or open relationship? Does it even exist, this secret? Maybe love in a family is just a lucky ticket, a lottery - you never know if you're lucky or not …
Harmony of family relationships, mutual understanding, trust, love, happiness … what does it all depend on?
What is the secret of a long and happy relationship between husband and wife?
Unquenchable passion and tender love? A bunch of kids, a big house and a garden? Joint business or creativity? Swan fidelity or open relationship?
Does it even exist, this secret? Maybe love in a family is just a lucky ticket, a lottery - you never know if you're lucky or not …
Whole volumes of psychological treatises have been written on the topic of family relations, but still no one can answer what force pulls us towards each other, simply driving us crazy, and why after three years everything goes away and we say: "The love boat crashed against everyday life." ?
Let's try to approach the issue from the other side - using the depth of systemic knowledge, we will undertake to understand the peculiarities of family relations.
Why do people get married
He she…
A spark ran between them, their gazes met, their lips stretched in a smile, and their hearts beat often, often, their breath caught, the words remained unsaid, because there was no longer any need for them. He gently took her hand, and so they went through life, creating a happy family union.
Idyll…
Yes, at first everything looks exactly like an idyll, because we like absolutely everything in our soul mate - we are in love! We see only what we want to see - the image of an ideal partner, we are overwhelmed by feelings and no arguments and admonitions are able to convince us. What is it? Clouding of the mind after three years?
This is the power of attraction. As ancient as the world and as powerful as any animal instinct. Fighting it is simply useless. It is not for nothing that even the most outstanding minds, brilliant scientists and thinkers, confident that they fully control their thoughts, feelings and emotions, lost the battle with nature and fell victim to attraction to the opposite sex.
It is the attraction, the desire for sex that brings us together, but after all, not everyone gets married …
In the modern world, love and marriage do not necessarily mean each other, and the variety of forms of family relationships is simply amazing.
Until the grave …
People with an anal vector strive to formalize marriage. Only for them traditions and public opinion are important and revered, it is for an anal person that family values play a major role in the feeling of happiness and fulfillment of life.
Choosing a partner for a long time and in detail, a representative of the anal vector, having finally decided on family life, is ready to endure for many years all the shortcomings and troubles that arise in the process of recognizing each other, since any changes in life, and even more so divorce, is a huge stress for anal person with a rigid psyche.
The most caring, kind and patient people, simply created by nature for marriage and family relations, in the event of an accumulation of frustrations (sexual or social), turn into their complete opposite - into cruel domestic tyrants who raise their hand against their family members.
Into the pool with your head
The one who can never hit a loved one is a representative of the visual vector. The worst he can do is verbal sadism, suicide threats or tantrums.
Visual love is a flash, torch, fireworks, which can instantly flare up from one spark into a blazing fire of violent feelings and passion. Laughter and tears, joy and sadness - all this is mixed into a cocktail of a seething visual novel, into which the owner of the visual vector goes headlong into it. He himself at that time sincerely believes that here it is, true love for life, here is his ideal couple and they will certainly be just as happy in 10-20-30 years.
But over time, the intensity of passions subsides, feelings cool down and without emotional recharge they can disappear altogether. The lack of an emotional connection with a partner pushes the viewer to search for new relationships, and if a person has a cutaneous one from the lower vectors, he (or her) will not be held back by anything in existing family relationships. But if the lower vector is anal, such a person is looking for an emotional connection on the side and may be torn between two partners, tormented by remorse, or may not decide on physical betrayal, while remaining faithful to his wife or husband.
"The master made me his beloved wife!.."
The attitude of the representative of the urethral vector to married life is the same as to everything else: no restrictions, rules or obligations. Any attempts to limit his freedom or impose his own rules of the game end in complete failure. A person with a urethral vector lives as he wants: sex - so sex, wedding - so wedding; neither one nor the other binds him (her) to anything. The life tasks of the owner of the urethral vector are more important than an isolated family. The priority of the general over the particular: the leader does not have his own family, his flock is his family, all the children in the flock are his children, and not only those that are relatives.
The concept of family relations is simply not included in the value system of the urethral vector, more precisely, it drowns in it, is lost in the sea of animal altruism and the need of the urethral leader for bestowal, for the ability to distribute according to shortages and thereby ensure the advancement of his flock into the future.
Business proposal
The complete opposite of urethral altruism - the skin vector - indispensable residents of megacities, impetuous and ambitious, utterly logical and rational, they are pragmatic in everything, including family relationships.
The choice of a skin person is always a cause-and-effect relationship, a clear logical conclusion after a thorough assessment of such an act in terms of benefit-benefit for him (her) personally. Family and love are an investment of his time and resources, which simply must be successful.
The biggest stress for a skin person is loss, property or social, so he does his best to avoid this. Free (read: non-binding) relationships, marriages of convenience, marriage contracts with a detailed description of all the rights and obligations of the parties to the contract - all these are skin-like efforts to protect oneself from any losses. At the same time, any owner of the skin vector will very rarely leave the family where joint property was acquired, and the more significant this property, the higher the guarantee of maintaining family relations with this person.
However, the skin vector is a vector of changes, its carriers are great lovers of traveling, changing the environment, getting new impressions, the novelty factor is the greatest exciting moment for representatives of the skin vector. Vacation romances, fleeting relationships, office affairs are quite sincerely explained by the bearers of the skin vector as “just sex”, “nothing serious”, “entertainment” or “business necessity” and, as a rule, have no consequences or continuation in time.
Theater of family life
The roles in the family are determined by the vectors of the spouses. If this is a variant of “a husband with a skin vector and a wife with an anal vector,” then, of course, he fulfills his specific role of a breadwinner, and she becomes the keeper of the home, a faithful wife and mother of their children. But there is also the opposite combination: “a husband with an anal vector and a wife with a skin vector,” then the roles can change, but only partially. A husband with an anal vector, of course, is able to become the keeper of the home and is able to take care of the house and children at a time when a wife with a skin vector makes money and builds a career, providing the family with material values, but … without social realization, any man with an anal vector begins to accumulate frustrations, unsatisfied desires, unfulfilled needs for recognition, public respect and honor. Such a state can result in insults, reproaches, scandals, rude and even cruel treatment of loved ones.
Each man, depending on his vector set, is endowed with his own specific role, the fulfillment of which, first of all, provides him with pleasure due to the balanced state of the biochemistry of the brain. And even for a man with an anal vector, for whom having a family is one of the components of a full life, the realization of the specific role is still in the foreground. The quality of all other relationships, including family ones, depends on this.
A woman does not have a specific role, her task, first of all, is the birth and feeding of offspring, therefore, until recently, it was quite enough for a woman to realize herself only as a wife and mother. But with the onset of the cutaneous phase of human development, when personal efficiency, success in the professional sphere and career growth come to the fore, women for the most part begin to feel the need for the social realization of innate properties, especially those with a cutaneous vector.
The only woman who has a specific role is the skin-visual woman. Not giving birth and not belonging to anyone, she has always been either a public person, a seductive sex symbol of her time, or a teacher who instills in all the children of the flock the value of human life, bringing culture and art to the masses.
This is the woman who was originally created not for family relationships, but to fulfill her specific role, like a man. Even with a family and children, she will prioritize her vocation, whether it be theater, art, cinema, television, stage, social activities, and the like.
In a couple, a man personifies the power of bestowal, and a woman personifies the power of receiving, and even if the usual social roles in the family may change in complex relationships in modern society, the roles in personal relationships “he and she,” including intimate ones, remain the same.
Family relationships and family roles are given to us by nature itself. By making our choice with the lower vectors responsible for the formation of libido, we provide ourselves with a three-year period when the force of attraction holds us together. But at this stage, work on the development of family relations is just beginning. During this time, we are able to create a connection of a higher and more complex level - with the help of emotions, intellect, spiritual aspirations, which will become the basis of family relationships in the future and will be able to extend them for many years, bringing joy and pleasure from every moment lived together. And in the presence of upper vectors, this connection will be of a higher and more complex level.
The harmonious and natural development of family relations is not a registry office, not buying a common country house, and not even having a child. This is the conscious formation of common interests, goals, habits, the construction of a whole inner world of a separate family, consisting of two completely different worlds - a man and a woman, whose differences can become both a stumbling block and the embodiment of the expression "fit like a key to a lock."
Only by observing and realizing the innate characteristics of your partner in life, you move to a different level of mutual understanding, getting rid of psychological waste and the values and concepts of the “right” family imposed on you.
Each family is a separate and unique organism, which combines the psychological qualities of two such unique and highly organized beings as a man and a woman, but it depends only on them whether this combination will be a conflict of interests or a harmonious complement to each other.
