I hate people, or shut up everyone! I want to listen to the silence
“You don’t need to introduce me to the team, I feel good without you. Don't touch me, leave me alone! Don't ask me how my day off went. You don't care about me anyway, and I don't care even more about you."
People, people, people everywhere … How I hate them! They are the source of my suffering, my pain. Silence is nowhere to be found in this big city. Peace and quiet. Everywhere people, laughter, talk, noise, screams. They hit my eardrum so painfully and deafen me, penetrating directly into my most sensitive.
I close my eyes, swallowing the pain, pulling the hood deeper and pressing my head even more into my shoulders, seeking protection in this faint resemblance of a shell. If I could slam shut, like a shell, squeeze both doors with a strong muscle so that not a single sound penetrates there, into the vulnerable.
Today, in a hurry, I forgot my life-saving headphones - those with sound-absorbing effect. They somehow protect me from external sounds. If you still turn on the music louder, hard rock, even louder, then you can live. When I take them off, I am already so deafened that your vile sounds cannot be heard by me. But the headphones are at home, and I need to somehow get through this day. Oh-oh-oh, unbearable!
Me and morning
What a clamor at the bus stop! It seems that today everyone agreed to gather in such numbers at this very hour when I come here. I cringe with dislike. I am doomed to listen to it. These conversations are at full volume, already off scale, one shouts over the other. "Have you tried speaking more quietly?" I shiver and in irritation I hide even deeper in my "shell".
A bunch of sleepy naughty children. I look around in a helpless search - where to hide from their screeching, squeak of voices. I hate children. There is no rest from them anywhere. Children's crying, hysterics, mother yelling something, that's the sound of a spanking. And this screeching becomes even stronger, piercing my brains with burning pain. A-a-a-a-a, I would have killed all of you: both mothers and children.
The bus is coming and I know it won't be any better. It is overflowing with people and sounds. It is a collection of seething lives, energies, vibrations, intonations, accents that are hammering into my brain with a jackhammer. Unbearable pain. Lord, if you exist, why do I live? To suffer like this?
I try to close my eyes again, disconnect from reality, breathe. One, two, three, four … But the sounds remain. What are they talking about there? Such nonsense, such nonsense! Just to shake the air with your sounds, so as not to be silent? To kill time on the way to work?
Hatred is nauseating to the throat. I would like to shout at the top of my voice: “Shut up, you all, finally! I HATE YOU!"
How to live until the evening?
I get to work. There is no escape here either. Greetings and conversations are conversations. We got it.
“You don’t need to introduce me to the team, I feel good without you. Don't touch me, leave me alone! Don't ask me how my day off went. You don't care about me anyway, and I don't care even more about you. Why do I go to this job? To feed this body? It is completely indifferent to food."
The whole space is filled with sounds. The neighbor at the next table is endlessly sniffing, another is drumming his fingers on the table, that one is clicking a pen, that one is whistling, another one is hiccupping, and this one is constantly beeping on the phone. And they call it silence. Have you ever heard the silence ?!
I gnash my teeth helplessly, swallowing the nausea of irritation. How to survive in this epicenter of sounds?
Salvation only dreams
I return home exhausted into saving silence. I close the curtains and sink into a chair. A thick layer of dust has accumulated on the TV remote control. I have not turned it on for a long time, carefully keeping my precious silence. I enjoy wrapping myself in her velvet and close my eyes, anticipating peace. Finally…
Suddenly - what is it? "Drip, drip, drip," catches my ear. The whole body is instantly tensed by the string. Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh, no, again! This is a faucet dripping behind a wall from neighbors who, apparently, an elephant stepped on their ear, even if they do not hear it in their apartment. A groan escapes from my throat. And there is no rest here.
I crawl onto the bed and put pillows over both ears. "Cap, drop, drop …" My eardrum vibrates in unison with every drop. They used to be tortured in prisons like this, and people went crazy. I wrap myself in a cocoon blanket. To fall asleep and sleep without waking up for many, many days, and it is better not to wake up at all. Why live? In order to die?
Me and society
Sometimes my colleagues or friends pull me out of my shell. “Well, you can't be that introvert. Go and have fun. " I try to be with them, "socialize," so to speak. But it doesn't bring me pleasure. After all these gatherings, I recover for a long time. It was as if all the energy had been sucked out of me. The body goes limp, I am a balloon from which air has been released.
If this loss of energy is the price of being with others, I don't have to pay it to anyone. It's enough for you that you steal my silence.
My voice is deaf and low, and I am constantly asked again. Why are you asking again? Listen! I can hear you. I forcefully open my mouth and exhale my phrase again with irritation. What? Didn't you hear again ?! I turn around and walk away.
You laugh, you enjoy life. Rejoice, fools! You don't even know that you are all kamikaze on this planet. The world is going downhill. And would rather already! And finally, relief will come …
Who is this man-hater, passionately longing for peace and quiet?
He's special
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan defines him as a person, a carrier of a sound vector. The soundman is special. He is not like all other people. He was born to listen attentively to silence in search of vibration, thought, sound. He is a night wanderer and part-time philosopher and genius. He has endless development potential. He knows and feels his exclusivity. He is an absolute egocentric and introvert, focused only on himself.
What brings pleasure in life to others (family, love, work, success) does not matter to him. The bearer of the most powerful abstract intellect, he is looking for meaning in the immaterial, non-existent for all others, the unconscious.
Comfort zone
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan defines eight sensitive zones for outputting or receiving information, according to which the vectors got their names: skin, visual, sound and others.
So, a person with a sound vector has a very sensitive ear. He hears not only sounds as such, but also perceives and recognizes vibrations, vibrations, intonations, meanings, shades of meanings. His gentle ear is able to pick up information inaccessible to others, and his powerful intellect is able to process it.
The comfort zone for a person with a sound vector is silence. Only in silence is he able to concentrate and create an ingenious thought-form, to the birth of which he strives with all his being. Sense, thought, idea - these are his highest values.
They get in the way. I hate
The sound engineer was born to think, and the work of the mind is much more energy-intensive than even the most difficult physical work. In a space filled with sounds, this is a colossal tension. Therefore, the bearer of the sound vector seeks to find solitude and peace, where he could think freely. But he is surrounded by people who are not like him. They are different and they are distracting.
“I want to think, but I cannot. I want and do not receive. These people are bothering me!"
He realizes that others in their life are very different from him. They are occupied with other thoughts - love, career, family, success, children, health, money. And all this lies outside the area of interest of a person with a sound vector. Therefore, in his egocentrism, he even more fences himself off from others, considering them small, stupid, insignificant. And sometimes he doesn't think of people at all.
Irritation and dislike gradually turn into hatred of people.
“How do they, with their insignificant interests and needs, generally have the right to live and distract me from my thoughts? I hate."
End of the world as salvation
According to the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, a person with a sound vector is the only one who separates the material and the spiritual. Therefore, he, sensing that there is something more than the physical world, does not connect his “I”, his intellect, his consciousness with his body. The body for him is just a material shell that temporarily covers his immortal soul.
And the more the sound engineer is fenced off from the outside world, the more illusory he perceives everything material, including other people and even his body. Such long-term states lead to apathy and depression, which can end in suicide, a kind of attempt to free the soul from the suffering of the physical world.
In the meantime, he is hiding in his shell, seeking salvation in silence and loneliness, longing for the end of the world as a deliverance from emptiness, from gray boring monotonous days, from the pain of endless meaninglessness.
Life and I
The sound vector is dominant and carries the greatest desire, which haunts its owner, day or night, suppressing all other simple everyday joys. Not receiving filling, it pulls it into a place where there is no place for light. Where pain and hate outweigh the desire for life.
System-vector psychology is knowledge about a person and his unconscious, about our “I” and the world around us. It reveals to us all the cause-and-effect relationships of what we feel and see around us. The events and behavior of people cease to be an incomprehensible set of absurd chaotic movements. And the world is developing into a clear harmonious system. System-vector psychology is the key to understanding what makes our life unbearable, the key to what can change it, what will fill it with meaning. Many people who have mastered systems thinking talk about their results:
You can learn more about the structure of the human psyche and take the first step in cognition at night free online trainings on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Register using the link.
