I don't like people and … I can't live without them
How to reconcile within yourself these two opposites - tiredness of people and the inability to be without them? How to get closer to people when there is no desire to communicate with them? How can a deep introvert learn to enjoy interacting with people?
Each spring is experienced by me as a small end of the world. It seems that everything is awakening to life - the birds are singing, the greenery is covering the tree crowns with a haze, the sky becomes endless. Covered with a thick layer of dust and littered with debris, previously hidden under the snow, the city is gradually cleared of dirt, renewed, and begins to sparkle with bright colors under the rays of the sun. But I don't see all this. I have an annual aggravation - I don't like people.
In these bright, very lengthened days, I do not like them especially much. I am annoyed by these scurrying, always busy people who are in a hurry to take everything from life. I am sick of the piggy delight of those who are constantly expecting a holiday - from spring, from summer, and in general for any reason. The only thing I want on such days is to close the door of my apartment tightly and not let anyone into it.
I want peace and loneliness. I want to forget and fall asleep until nature makes the next cycle and breathes in the face the cold and comfort of cloudy autumn days. Then I will again have an excuse for my loneliness - it's dark and chilly outside, everyone is sitting at home. I will start up and feel a surge of energy.
What to do on such autumn days? Just wander around the Internet, think, reflect, look for answers. Why am I like this? Why are people like this? Why is everything so arranged? Why am I so bad? These eternal "why?" hammer in my head. I want to understand them. It seems to me that only when I think I live. As if I live not with my body, but with my head. When she's busy, I sense the meaning. Everything else is a waste of life time, meaninglessness.
But they don't think so
They bother me: “Why are you always sitting at home? Why are you not enjoying a bright day, sun? We should be happy with simple things. Let's go there, let's go here. They are all the time trying to pull me out of my voluntary and desired loneliness. Sometimes I agree, but I get tired of them in an hour, dreaming of only one thing - to be back in my hole.
Sometimes I protest and stay at home. I do what I like - think, reflect, surf the Internet. But at some point, I especially sharply begin to feel the emptiness of my loneliness. I don't like people, but I can't live without them. It's like I'm running out of fuel without them. I begin to grind in my head my own uselessness, inability to live and enjoy simple things. I would like to be like them, but for some reason it doesn't work out.
These thoughts make me even worse, even darker, even more hopeless. I say that I'm just tired, that I need to rest. But resting alone plunges me even more into emptiness. I try to occupy myself with something, to distract myself, but deep down I guess that without people any of my occupations will be empty.
However, these are only vague guesses from which I hide, I run, because most of all I do not want to be with people. I even begin to hate them for what they are, for causing me such suffering.
How to reconcile within yourself these two opposites - tiredness of people and the inability to be without them? How to get closer to people when there is no desire to communicate with them? Am I doomed to be alone? But I also want to be happy …
Solitude or loneliness?
System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan describes a special type of people who have a special relationship with loneliness. These are the owners of the sound vector. They experience the greatest pleasure from the thought process, which, however, is not always realized. Most of the time they think, listen to the world in order to comprehend it, to understand how everything works. They are intended by nature in order to give birth to ideas, music, words filled with deep meaning.
The best concentration of thought, concentration is achieved by a sound engineer in silence and solitude, therefore he strives so much for them, runs away from the hustle and bustle of the world around him, to think.
But this does not mean that he cannot experience the pleasure of communicating with people. He is able to communicate with rapture and get real pleasure from communication. What prevents him from doing this? Why is he looking for solitude? And why does being disconnected from people make him even more unhappy? All answers to questions are hidden in our unconscious.
Where are our thoughts?
The unconscious is what is hidden from us. And this is exactly what we have to reveal, because otherwise we will never solve our internal problems. And this is especially important for a person with a sound vector, it is he who is interested in the root causes of everything. His inquisitive mind seeks to make out nature down to atoms, to quarks. Including to understand how a person is arranged and why. This is his specific role: to reveal the structure of the psyche and thus create a new type of connection between people - understanding the other as oneself.
When the sound engineer is constantly alone, focusing on his states, the outer world becomes more and more illusory for him, while the inner world seems to him more real. His I, his states - this is what becomes overvalued for him. The rest will wait. It is in himself that he seeks to find the answers to all his many “why?”, But is faced with an even greater emptiness. Within himself, he finds nothing but heartbreaking suffering.
Prolonged limitation of contact with people leads him to depression. Full focus on oneself and the loss of emotional connection with others can even lead to moral and ethical degeneration, from which mass murder is a stone's throw. So strong is his hatred of people.
The suffering that a sound person experiences alone is the suffering of separation from other people. It is he who is given to experience him to a greater extent than others, because his purpose is to reveal that man is not created as a separate unit. It is created as part of integrity, community, species. And intense suffering pushes him to open up.
Loneliness is not created
There is a well-known expression that a person is a social creature because he cannot survive alone. We hate each other, but for thousands of years we have been pulling the strap of survival together. We snap at each other, but unite in difficult times. We give our lives for the survival of loved ones, our people. We are building a single space in which we create the best conditions for the survival of all, as much as possible. As far as our understanding is enough, we will not survive without the environment.
What makes us do this? Internal knowledge that the whole is more important than the private, the public is more important than the personal. This knowledge is hidden from us, but moves us from the unconscious, some more, others to a lesser extent. All of us, without exception, are under the influence of natural laws, according to which our psychic is arranged. Following them, we are happy. Living contrary to them - we suffer.
When a person with a sound vector begins to concentrate his thought not on himself, but on the people around him, he opens new horizons in his life. But what does it mean to focus your thought on other people? Think about them? Trying to feel what drives them? And why should he?
Where does the suffering of loneliness push us?
Long before the emergence of system-vector psychology, sound writers, experts in human souls, tried to concentrate on other people. They are still called the classics of literature. They observed life, people in an effort to trace the motives and consequences of their actions. And then, in silence and solitude, they interpreted their observations, deduced patterns, describing the truth of life in their works.
So they realized their sound desires for the knowledge of the world and man. For the same purpose, scientists, philosophers, creators of religions, composers, linguists and other representatives of the sound vector focused on the world outside.
Now more and more sound people strive to know themselves and other people. Not realizing this desire in themselves, not fulfilling it, they experience intense mental suffering, which manifests itself as a feeling of meaninglessness and deep loneliness in this world, inability to find contact with other people, and hatred of people. Sound scientists are looking for ways out of this suffering. And they find it in the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan, which reveals the mental. This is knowledge that has not yet been. And it appeared exactly when the sound desires became especially strong.
What does a sound engineer find in system-vector psychology?
First of all, he begins to understand himself - his desires, his purpose. He begins to realize the reasons for his loneliness, understands what he is actually looking for. A desire to know other people begins to form in him. Knowledge of the vectors of the psyche gives him the opportunity to deeply understand the nature of other people. Defining people by vectors, he begins to see what they want, what their values are and how he differs from other people. All this allows him to accept himself and others. Deep relief is what the sound engineer first experiences at the training of Yuri Burlan.
Further penetration into the psychic world gives the owner of the sound vector an incomparable joy. It turns out that all his life he was looking for this - to listen to the world, to people and understand them. This is what the soul was waiting for and looking for. It turns out that people are not the most disgusting that exists in this world, which poisons his life. This is the center of his universe, this is the goal of his path, this is the meaning of his life.
He gradually reveals that the psychic, the unconscious is one for everyone, and each takes its place in it. He begins to feel like a cell in a single organism, which works harmoniously for overall survival. At the same time, understanding others as himself, he no longer separates himself from others. Thus, dislike, that very feeling, seething in us and placing us as a view on the brink of life and death, goes away. How can you hurt yourself? How can you hurt another person when they feel like part of you?
The sound person begins to understand how important his conditions are for other people. He begins to see the value of what he brings to this world - ideas, awareness. He puts into words what until now no one has been able to fully describe - who we are and where we are going, what is our happiness and our problem.
There are many more discoveries awaiting the sound engineer on the way to the disclosure of the unconscious. This is the most exciting adventure he can ever enter. A long journey begins with the first step. To realize your true desires, you need to try to understand them. You have such an opportunity at free introductory online trainings in systemic vector psychology. Register here.
