How to survive the death of a loved one?
The light of the life of a loved one leaves, and in its place is a gaping, heavy, painful emptiness. And an unbearably strong desire to fill this black gap. I would like to return the warm light of dear eyes. I would like to scream out loud: “Don't leave me alone, don't leave me in this emptiness! Please do not die forever! …
My friend got sick. A wonderful, kind, bright person. I got sick not critically and not hopelessly. Just a little tired, just my whole life on the run. But the strength and desire to live is only to envy such a spiritual resource. And our close women's "club of interests" just knew with confidence that in a month or two the hospital would be closed and the life of our beloved girlfriend would return to its former course.
Common workday. The cell phone rings. I pick up the phone. I'm listening. The incoming question does not respond with a surge of emotions of indignation from unconfirmed delirium. I'm calm. I understand why some people tend to fantasize about death. I answer that nothing of the kind happened. We called each other the night before, talked for a long time, joked. My friend is fine.
But a slight alarm loomed inside. I dial her number. The call is in progress, so everything is fine. I'm already ready to hear the familiar: "Hello, my friend!" but her son picks up the phone. The sky like a black block of stone hoots at me with the weight of the Tunguska meteorite and deafens me with a guess … Under the rubble of my horrified consciousness, the words are heard: “Yes, it's true. I can't speak, sorry."
It's getting bad. Not enough air, not enough light. Until the state of almost physical tearing pain, there is not enough answer to the only question: "HOW SO ??? …"
It’s like I’m in a balloon filled with water, which was tied up and thrown into a huge barrel of the same water. And I wallow in the pain of disbelief, misunderstanding, unwillingness and rejection of what happened. This is some kind of ridiculous, terrible dream. We must wake up! We must emerge!
I run to my friend. I run to see and not believe. I run so that the pain in my lungs overflowing with grief could tear me out of this nightmare, in which I dreamed the death of a loved one.
The tear-stained eyes of girlfriends. I do not believe! This couldn't have happened! Here, everything is in place. Here is her cup of unfinished tea, on the table by the window are makeup brushes. Everything seems to be alive. Even a bottle of perfume. It is unbearable to see the life of your dear friend around you without her.
I peer for a long time and intently - maybe he is still breathing?.. No.
Please don't die forever!.
I've always been afraid of death. Fear of death is a natural feature of the visual vector, which is endowed with 5% of people. At the training "System-vector psychology" Yuri Burlan talks about the deep, rooted in the birth of man, the peculiarities of our psyche. Features of the psyche, desires and properties that distinguish us from each other are called vectors.
The death of a loved one is especially difficult for people with a visual vector. These are people by nature endowed with a huge amplitude of emotions that can fluctuate at the peak of states - from universal love to the paralyzing fear of death. Developed and realized owners of the visual vector are able to create a strong emotional connection with other people on the basis of warm trust, support, empathy, sympathy for their neighbors. Next to such people who know how to feel your pain as their own, it becomes uneven, warm and comfortable. They seem to take away all your pain, dissolving it with sweet tea, warm hugs, kind words and a bright smile. And the soul becomes calm and good.
This was my friend too. She was sensitive to the state of others, able to find the only true words of support. Always ready to help. Always for others. Always out. Self-concern is the last.
Therefore, it is especially painful to lose such people. As if the light with which they filled you goes away with them. The light of the life of a loved one leaves, and in its place is a gaping, heavy, painful emptiness. And an unbearably strong desire to fill this black gap. I would like to return the warm light of dear eyes. I would like to scream out loud: “Don't leave me alone, don't leave me in this emptiness! Please do not die forever!"
I could not come to terms, could not find an excuse for what happened, I was afraid, suffered and cried.
How to heal the pain of the soul after the death of a loved one
The breaking of the emotional connection for the owners of the visual vector is very painful. And the experience of irrevocable loss of a loved one is a powerful blow to the psyche of visual people. The death of a loved one can plunge a person with a visual vector into a state of panic fear, anxiety for his life and loss of a sense of calm and confidence. This is a difficult condition that sucks into a quagmire of constant fear, exhausting with panic attacks and various phobias.
I have experienced this state for many years. I know what a person suffering from panic attacks is going through. Unfortunately, traditional medicine today is not able to completely solve this problem. The maximum is the appointment of antidepressants and antipsychotics for the temporary relief of painful symptoms. Calm is short-lived and artificial, side effects are significant. The problem is in place.
The training "System Vector Psychology" is the only infallible tool that gives a guaranteed result in getting rid of panic attacks, phobias and anxiety states.
At the training, Yuri Burlan explains in simple words a mechanism that is guaranteed to get rid of phobias and fears. Realizing the peculiarities of our psyche, shifting the focus of attention from our pain and our own inner suffering to empathy for other people, providing help and support to those who really need it, we no longer experience bad conditions within ourselves. Fear for our own life no longer controls us.
Only thanks to the systemic knowledge gained during the training, I was able to emerge from the pain of my own loss. Come out. To see around me those who needed my support during this difficult period more than me.
For those of us who in life are faced with the bitterness of irrevocable loss of loved ones, the training "System-Vector Psychology" gives unmistakable knowledge of how to survive the pain of loss not at the limit of rupture of the aorta and our own half-death, but to preserve within ourselves a state of light sadness in memory about a dear person.
This is the only true knowledge, confirmed by the results of those who managed to survive the pain of the loss of loved ones and loved ones and retain their strength and desire to live on.
