Depression after the death of a loved one - where is salvation?
The loss of a loved one confuses us and leads to a dead end of depression after his death. There was life. There was happiness. There was laughter and understanding, care and joy. It seems that these states can never be again … How to get out of depression after the death of a loved one?
That unfortunate day destroyed everything I had - my husband died. The feeling that a single organism was deprived of the head and told to move on. But how? Without eyes, without feelings, without meaning. Everything turned black. It was like a thin protective shell around me shattered to smithereens as he left. Hurry there to him, if only his soul was waiting for me there. Despair. Impotence. They say that depression after the death of a loved one passes over time. But the days go by, and I can only howl.
The loss of a loved one confuses us and leads to a dead end of depression after his death. There was life. There was happiness. There was laughter and understanding, care and joy. It seems that these states can never be again. Without him. How to get out of depression after the death of your beloved husband? Vector Systems Psychology explains why it hurts so much and shows you how to deal with depression after the death of a loved one.
What prevents getting rid of depression after the death of a loved one and living on?
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breaking the emotional connection, fear of death;
- loss of a sense of security and safety;
- feeling of own guilt or resentment against the deceased: he left and did not think about us;
- lack of understanding of the deep reasons for the decision of a loved one to die.
Depression after the death of her husband - how to get out?
Depression after the death of a loved one is a person's response to colossal stress. It is difficult for everyone to endure this, because people are social beings, we cannot be happy alone. We get the greatest joy from life when we feel good with someone. And the biggest pain is when you no longer warm your heart surrounded by loved ones.
But there are those who find it especially difficult to overcome the pain of loss, depression and fear of death - people with the highest emotional amplitude, open souls and eyes full of love. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan calls them the owners of the visual vector. Such people are at risk of depression from loneliness and loss of emotional connection.
Real happiness for the viewer is emotional closeness. Receiving and giving warmth to people is their vital need. And of course, in a family, such people usually create an atmosphere of love and mutual understanding. But the loss of the other half knocks the ground out from under your feet, clipping your wings and driving you into a state of chilling fear of death and depression.
The end of life is the most eerie thing that can happen in the imagination of visual people. Their root emotion is fear of death, which in such a situation is felt as depression. With insufficient realization of human properties or with overstress, this fear can take on a variety of forms - from fear of the dark to panic attacks.
After the death of her husband, a woman falls into a terrible depression also because the man provided her with a sense of safety and security. Without him, she feels like a little girl in a dark forest.
How to overcome depression and fear of death?
System-vector psychology shows that the opposite to the fear of death, the life-giving side of the visual vector, which can bring you out of depression, is the manifestation of care and concern for other people. It would seem, how can you help someone in such a broken state? But this is the construction of the visual soul - your fear of death, your pain and depression can be overcome only when compassion for another begins to care more than your own pain.
Remember what your beloved husband admired in you? The ability to count his mood in a second, warm him with an affectionate look and a kind word, calm him down and inspire him. Your wonderful qualities can brighten life for many even now, and their use will bring you deliverance from painful melancholy, depression and fear of death.
Relief from burning pain from the severance of the emotional connection and recovery from depression after the death of a husband (wife), taking into account the peculiarities of the visual vector, lies through the withdrawal of their emotions outward through compassion. Being with people, sympathizing, caring, helping with your sensitivity those whose bodies and souls are also full of pain - this is how visual people can align their own state, fill their hearts with love and get rid of depression and fear of death.
Moreover, having learned to realize her natural properties in society, a woman begins to feel her need, which means that she becomes “under the guardianship” of collective security and safety, which has a positive effect on the internal state.
Depression after mom's death
Small, as if dried out, in the last days she became just like a child. Shy, barely binding words, requiring care, immensely trusting. Mom even asked for a banana, all her life she said that she didn’t love them, just so that the children and grandchildren would get plenty of it. Only her love for us was unconditional. There was so much more to talk about. Thank you so much. So many still wanted to please her.
The death of a mother or father seems to deprive life support, especially hard this loss is endured by people for whom the family is of supervalue. System-vector psychology calls such people the owners of the anal vector. Their psyche is arranged in such a way that the past is perceived as more important than the present, and the connection with parents, especially with the mother, is a kind of basis for inner comfort.
But even for such people, depression after the death of their parents can be overcome by understanding the underlying causes of its occurrence.
The anal vector gives its owners a phenomenal memory. This feature of the psyche is given in order to accurately transfer the acquired knowledge, abilities and skills to the next generations. But we use memory not only for professional purposes: we like to remember the old days, rewind the tape and watch the movie of our life in all details. We constantly return memories to the past, which makes it even more difficult to find a clue to happiness in the present.
Save yourself from depression after the death of loved ones with a bright memory
We, people with an anal vector, remember all the good things we have done. We want not to be in debt. We want to return exactly as much as they once gave us. But after the death of a loved one, we understand that we were late, did not have time. It feels like a state of depression. They could, but did not give love, understanding, care, participation to their parents.
We reproach ourselves for the fact that a hundred times we wanted to take our mother out to sea, take our father to his favorite fishing trip, but just spend the weekend with them more often, sometimes call in the evening, but we wound up and started spinning. And now there is no one, no one. And depression after the death of mom paralyzes the ability to do anything.
The feeling of guilt can painfully and for a long time drag a person back in shackles, to a place where nothing can be changed. But this property of the anal vector may not destroy, but have a constructive effect and help get out of depression after the death of mom, father, grandmother, grandfather - those who, it seemed, still have a moment to say thank you.
Indeed, in the past, you can unearth not only reasons for reproaching yourself, but concentrate on what you are grateful to your parents, dear and close ones for.
Remember how your mother's caring hands cooked pies for you and always cut off the most ruddy piece, how your father's inept hands in this matter braided pigtails, afraid to pull the strand awkwardly, how grandmother and grandfather cried and were proud when you received your diploma, as at any of your calls and even without it, these hearts were ready to take all your hardships upon themselves.
How much happiness did you give each other! Although there is no way now to kiss your beloved cheeks and say thank you, you can endure this feeling of gratitude on other people and, in the name of your parents, give the same warmth to the world that your parents gave you.
What have your parents always wanted the most? So that everything goes well for you, that the work is to your liking, that comfort and understanding reign in your home. To make you happy. You can give it to them now. Then, gradually, the stupor and depression after the death of your mother will cease to hang on your life in the present. Only light sadness and gratitude will remain in the heart.
Depression after the death of a child
I was with him all night, passed out for a few minutes in the morning. Jumped out. Himself. Why did this happen? Could I change something? I found his diary - there is so much pain … but he did not share anything with us. There is no future for me; with the death of my beloved son, it is gone too.
When children die before their parents, it is as if the clock is running in the opposite direction. Some kind of mistake of nature. It should not be. Moreover, if the child makes such a choice himself.
Parents are killed by a sense of guilt that they did not notice something in the behavior of their son, they did not stop him in time. They are trying to understand why this happened to their smart, quiet and deep child.
System-vector psychology explains mathematically precisely why suicidal depression occurs, which does not count with age and in our time mows the ranks of the most gifted adolescents. The reason for their going out of the window is the strongest lack of sound vector.
The sound vector needs silence, they often prefer solitude. Silence is necessary for them to concentrate. What should they think about? About the meaning of the universe. At the age of six such children have puzzled their parents with questions: “Why do we live? What will happen after death? Without receiving intelligible answers or at least understanding the importance of these questions from the environment, they stop sharing them.
Shouting, noise, scandals, derogatory meanings - all this is a disaster for the development of the potential of a genius sound intelligence. It was loud and senseless for him outside, and at first he locked himself in his room and in his head, and not finding answers in his shell, he went for release from painful searches to where they do not return.
For sound children, salvation was found by the system-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan. But, unfortunately, not all parents have heard this yet, if children still go nowhere.
Depression after a child's death is a deep wound that will not heal without a trace. But by understanding everything that was going on in his head, what moved him, what he was silent about at dinner, what he thought about all night long, you can feel that oneness with your son, which you may have never experienced before.
Depression after the death of a loved one is hard but surmountable
A loved one, a loved one is no longer with you, depression after his death does not let go. But you are alive. System-vector psychology says: we live according to the principle of pleasure. And no matter how bad it is for us, unconsciously, until our last second, we strive to receive this pleasure. With an understanding of the underlying motives of what happened, depression, fear of death, guilt and resentment will be replaced by warm memory, and it will again become possible to fill your life with taste and meaning.
With all your heart, you can feel gratitude to the departed, understand the depth of a person who is no longer with you, and be able to rejoice every day again with a bright image of loved ones in your heart. Start with free online lectures on systemic vector psychology by Yuri Burlan. Allow yourself a breath of air, register here.
