How to survive the death of a loved one, when the light is not nice without him
The death of a loved one is an irreparable loss. How can you help another person go through this difficult part of life? And how to survive the death of a loved one yourself, when it seems that life has stopped, and happiness without him is simply impossible?
Nobody wants to touch the topic of death - it touches us itself! It happens suddenly and overwhelmingly. Then her blow is even stronger, and the shock of the shock experienced leaves scars not only in the soul, but also on the body. How to survive the death of a loved one and not go crazy with grief? How can we help someone who is in pain of loss? The answer is given by the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan, which shows that our entire psyche, like a thin lace, is woven of two forces - the forces of life and the forces of death.
The death of a loved one is an irreparable loss
Why such unbearable pain? Empty inside and empty outside. You just don't understand how to live on. The death of a loved one seems to throw him into another reality: into a meaningless and empty world in which there is no dear person.
When a person is suddenly overtaken by the departure of a loved one, he forgets about everything. At this moment, the brain seems to turn off, and he walks like a somnambulist, bumping not only the things of a loved one, but also the memories of him.
And memories are overwhelmed by a wave of emotions, and pain from the loss of a loved one arises in the heart again and again. And now tears are choking, there is a lump in my throat, there are no words, my legs just give way. How to deal with the loss of a loved one?
And if someone from your environment is experiencing the loss, you too are bitter and painful, but already for him. I would like to help, but do not know how to find words of comfort.
You see how his whole being resists the news of the loss. As if you can hear him mentally shouting: “I don't believe! It can't be! It is unfair that such a good person passed away! " And then loneliness, melancholy, unbridled grief suck him into their quagmire. I want to reach out to him, get him out of there. But how?
How can you help another person go through this difficult part of life? And how to survive the death of a loved one yourself, when it seems that life has stopped and happiness without him is simply impossible? Let's figure it out in this article.
Psychological aspects of the experience of death
Death is difficult for most people. Everyone reacts to death differently. Everything is due to the unconscious features of our psyche. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan classifies all these properties and unconscious desires, calling them vectors. And since people are not the same, then the recommendations on how to survive the death of a loved one also depend on the psychology of a person.
A person lives among other people. And we all have an innate set of vectors for fulfilling our role in society. Someone is given an excellent memory, another - heightened emotionality, the third - a brilliant mind, etc. Mixing of different vectors creates a unique pattern of the psyche.
That is why each person experiences loss in their own way. Some begin to flicker, others sob uncontrollably, others fall into a stupor, and some confidently take on all the trouble of organizing a farewell.
As Yuri Burlan's system-vector psychology says, a person is always a desire to survive and continue oneself in time. In a state of super-stress - and death is certainly such a state - unconscious adaptation programs come into play.
These are unconscious reactions, and the person simply does not understand what is happening to him. Why is he being pulled into the abyss of fear, why does he fall into a stupor, or, conversely, begins to flicker?
What does it depend on? From those innate properties that nature has endowed us with. And they are all different. It will be easier to cope with the loss of a loved one, to cope with melancholy and hopelessness when you realize what is happening to the psyche.
When a person feels guilty
There are special people among us, for whom family, children, friends, gratitude, justice are supervalues. All events in life pass through this most important filter of perception. It is easy for such a person to plunge into a sense of guilt, experiencing pain because he did not thank the departed during his lifetime. The owners of these properties experience special, unbearable pain from the death of a beloved child - it is felt as a loss of the meaning of life.
Such a person also tends to sink into memories, especially if they are fond memories. In this state, a person loses a fulcrum. He needs to be helped to regain balance. Death is a huge shock for him, he unconsciously tries to return to the past when everything was fine. In this state, he begins to live with memories.
From one news of the death of a loved one, such a person's legs give way, palpitations, shortness of breath begin. He may even become ill with his heart. It is especially difficult for the owner of the anal vector to survive the death of the mother. To adapt the loss of a loved one and return to life again, the bearer of these properties always takes more time than others.
Who falls into hysterics from the loss of a loved one
Overcoming sudden loss is especially difficult for people with a visual vector. Because their psyche is based on the root fear - the fear of death. It is they who, from the pain of loss, very often begin to sob, plunge into self-pity or fall into hysterics, that is, to lock themselves in the lower states of the visual vector. A sudden break in emotional connection with the departed is a huge stress for such people, they do not control themselves, do not understand how to survive this death and get out of difficult conditions.
As they descend, they are more and more drawn into the funnel of fear of death. It is possible to get out of such complex states only by understanding the entire mechanism and amplitude of visual states, which are given more than 20 hours at Yuri Burlan's training.
It is people with a visual vector who run the risk of plunging into a state of self-pity, which is actually very destructive, because it closes the sufferer on himself and once again on the unfortunate one. And the visual vector refers to the four extroverted vectors, for which isolation is unnatural and harmful.
This is one of the biggest mistakes that later entails health problems for the bereaved. He begins to develop psychosomatic illnesses.
So how not to lose your mind from grief, as well as help another to survive these states and not fall into unbridled self-pity and endless longing?
Tears help to survive the death of a loved one
But tears are different. In a state of loss, when unbearable tragedy fogs our minds, we begin to cry out of fear for ourselves. A whole round dance of thoughts rushes through my head: how am I going to live without a close, beloved, dear person?
We often cry out of self-pity. But tears can bring relief if you can redirect the vector of attention from yourself to others, to those who are also feeling bad now. Spectators have a unique talent for empathy and compassion: striving to support and reassure the other will bring you great relief in how to cope with the loss of a loved one.
Of course, the loss of a loved one is a grave condition. It is important to understand all the psychological characteristics of these states, then you can not only cope with pain yourself, but also help other people who have experienced loss.
When the death of a loved one is the biggest tragedy
But a person with an anal-visual combination of vectors is especially worried about the loss. For the anal vector, the greatest value is family, mother, children. For the visual, these are emotional connections with other people.
When a person has such a bond, for him the loss is a huge blow to his supervalues, it is a rupture of an emotional bond that can never be restored.
Here memories of the past and lost emotional ties are woven into a tight knot. He is simply sucked into a whirlpool of memories, where he remembers all the good, and some kind of resentment and disappointment. All this at the same time has a very bright emotional color, and he gets worse and worse, right up to panic attacks and the inability to move his legs.
Naturally, colleagues, relatives and friends will learn about the loss. They, of course, always offer help and support. But a person immersed in grief often unconsciously pushes the helping hand away. You have probably encountered such situations. It is important to understand here that a person still needs help. How can you help him?
A person in grief - a special approach is needed
It is necessary to support loved ones skillfully. System-vector psychology of Yuri Burlan gives such advice.
Be sure to support the person sincerely and wholeheartedly, but do not fall into lamentations such as "how are you going to live now?"
- Moreover, if you hear such notes, you need to be very attentive, make mental efforts and try to bring his melancholy into bright memories.
- Don't let the impressionable and emotional owners of the visual vector paint scary pictures in their imaginations.
- Of course, in the first days he will be immersed in his grief, but later he must be brought out into society. Help him see that someone else is harder than him.
- Those who love to live with memories can express their feelings through memoirs written for posterity about such a wonderful person.
So death is always a reason to remember the good things that were associated with this person. Remember what the deceased did in his life, remember the joyful, happy moments and understand that the person close to you left his unique mark in this world.
You can survive the death of a loved one
First of all, if someone close to you is suffering from loss, talking to them, talk about how life goes on and getting through hard times is best in society.
After all, the loss of loved ones is a natural and logical stage in life. Life goes on! And only we choose what kind of energy to fill life with: the energy of joy, the light that will remain after us, or longing and grief, when they will shy away from you and try to bypass everyone around.
This is what the training participants who got rid of the pain say, and the departure of a loved one became for them a page of bright sadness instead of terrible and unbearable heart pain.
Is the death of a loved one a tragedy or a new chord in life?
A person does everything to continue himself in time. And naturally, each of the loved ones leaves their mark. Someone in their children, another in science or art, and some generally leave a deep imprint on the soul of all mankind.
The tragedy of the death of a loved one is not the final chord of your life, but an opportunity to think about how your life sounds in the present. Are there any false notes in it, are you doing everything to leave your unique mark on the earth?
Life after death
Life is a cycle of energy, which, as you know, does not disappear without a trace. So there is actually no death. The universe is organized according to the holographic principle. Even a piece of a small leaf leaves a holographic trace of a whole leaf.
So we do not disappear into nowhere - we leave our mark: both material and spiritual.
People are actually much stronger than we think. It is much easier for a person to survive the shock of death when he has something to live for. When there is something that depends only on him, on his efforts and that is much more than himself. And it is not always children or other relatives, sometimes a person is forced to live by an idea, the embodiment of which is the meaning of his life.
It is possible to get rid of the pain of loss, and most importantly, to experience it without loss of health when we become aware of the unconscious mechanisms that govern our life. You can start acquaintance with these powerful forces, restore their natural balance already at the free online training System-Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan.
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Relieve yourself of suffering and heartache.