Vaginismus. The "shameful" secret of the emotional beauty
Vaginismus is one of the most common dysfunctions associated with psychological trauma of a skin-visual girl. Of course, he does not always take forms incompatible with intimate life, spasms are not strong, and not particularly painful …
Lera often fell in love and each time - sincerely, truly, with nightly sobs, worries and suffering. Friends looked at her as "the girl everyone wants." She really was good: okay, slender, with big eyes, ready to laugh instantly, showing straight bracelets of teeth, or completely sincerely cry over the sad fate of some unfortunate insect.
They fell for it immediately, without bothering to get to know better. Attraction arose instantly, as one of her friends put it - "at the cellular level." However, despite her emotionality and attractiveness, as well as a bunch of fans, Lera, at 22, was still … a virgin! Sincerely enjoying the attention and courtship of men, she at some point broke off her boyfriends, almost out of the blue, breaking off the relationship.
However, the place was not so even - the breakup of relations almost always occurred at a turning point in the relationship, when the man persistently tried to translate courtship into a “horizontal” plane. And the reason was that this very "horizontal phase" caused almost physical horror in Lera. But it was not always so.
Lera's father died at work - he was knocked to death by a beam that collapsed in the workshop. She was then very small, and at the word "father" in her memory only huge palms, smelling of metal shavings and oil, appeared, which he held out to her when he came home from work. The father was a hard worker, from morning till night he worked at a metallurgical plant so that his wife and daughter did not need anything. So he stayed "at the damned job" forever …
Mother grieved for six months, and then “Uncle Slava” appeared in their apartment. With his introduction of Lerino, childhood ended. Not indifferent to drinking, the jealous "kitchen tyrant" has become a real home monster. He often beat his mother, sorting out his relationship with her, and it happened that he shouted at Leroux when she got underfoot, asking for attention. He did not beat the child, but the girl had enough of the horror that she experienced looking at the screaming mother receiving kicks and cuffs.
The stepfather only raised his voice, but everything inside her was already squeezing and her heart sank with fear. But the worst thing, according to little Lera, happened behind the closed doors of the parent's bedroom. Every time Uncle Slava locked himself there with his mother, Lera would become quiet and listen to the strangled sounds coming from there. It seemed to her that one day mom would not leave the bedroom alive, because her stepfather would do something terrible to her …
The nightmare ended when the mother gave birth to a brother. Ten-year-old Leroux was sent to a childless aunt in a small town so that she did not interfere, and she finally began a normal life. A new school, new friends, a good-natured, affectionate aunt who became attached to her as to her own daughter … However, Lera, unaware of it, took part of the horror she experienced with her from her mother's house. It turned out when Lera was sixteen.
The girls from their class were sent to a gynecologist for examination. Blushing, whispering and giggling, a flock of schoolgirls huddled in the corridor of the antenatal clinic, entering the office in twos. When it was Lerina's turn, the girl entered the office together with her desk neighbor and began to undress. My heart was pounding as if it was about to jump out, my cheeks and forehead were filled with color, my legs gave way. All this could easily be attributed to girlish shyness, if, when the doctor tried to insert a gynecological speculum into her vagina, her muscles suddenly contracted. This unexpected muscle spasm took the doctor by surprise, and she almost dropped the instrument.
Lera was in a panic and did not react in any way to the persuasions and requests of the doctor and the nurse to “calm down” and “relax”. Rather, her body did not react, unable to fulfill the hysterical commands sent by the brain. Doctors often compare these involuntary muscle contractions to the eye's reaction to being hit by a foreign object. If a stray midge flies into your eye or a speck gets in, you, with all your desire, will not be able to stop blinking or stop an oncoming tear with an effort of will. So it is with vaginismus: it is almost impossible to control muscle spasms with such an attack.
Having somehow calmed Leroux, the doctor had to confine herself to examining the external genital organs and to let the girl out of the "torture room", as she silently dubbed the gynecologist's office. The classmates surrounded the crimson schoolgirl and began to pester her with questions about why it took so long, and what they did to her, but she only smiled exhaustedly in response and shrugged her shoulders.
Then Lera did not know that she had vaginismus - a psychophysical state in which any vaginal penetration - whether it is connected or not related to sex - is very difficult, if not impossible, due to the involuntary contraction of internal muscles in the pubic-coccygeal zone … The girl decided that the stress caused by her ignorance and unpleasantness of the procedure was the cause of the unpleasant situation in the doctor's office. Nothing like this had happened to her before: she did not use tampons, she was on friendly terms with the boys, but she never went further than kissing with anyone.
If we exclude the possible physiological prerequisites for the occurrence of vaginismus (which are quite rare) in a woman who has not yet had sexual intercourse, then psychological causes come to the fore. Traditional medicine offers an equally traditional set of them: the belief that sex is immoral, fear of possible pain associated with penetration, mental disorders, homophobia and a tendency to Leisby ties, and the like. Often lumping together cause and effect, practitioners nevertheless quite often note that vaginismus occurs predominantly in educated women, as well as in emotional women prone to exaltation.
This "tendency to exaltation" is the key that allows you to unravel the causes of vaginismus. The bulk of those suffering from it are suppressed skin-visual girls, carrying trauma and fears in their unconscious; emotional, anxious, stronger than anyone else, in need of protection and safety. If in a family where a skin-visual girl (CG) grows up, in one form or another there is rudeness and violence, even verbal, and not physical, the likelihood of developing CG according to the scenario of a suppressed personality increases many times over. One of the manifestations of this scenario is vaginismus.
Skin-visual women are indeed very impressionable. Emotional swings are the essence of their life, they are sensitive to the slightest environmental influences, reacting to them with thousands of shades of emotions, the most powerful of which is fear. This is due to their archetypal role as daytime guard of the pack. Once upon a time, a strong fear of such a guard could raise an alarm on the entire tribe and save dozens of lives … Today, excessive emotional sensitivity is often perceived as an atavism, causing the surprise of others: “Oh, you cry such big tears because of a cartoon ?! I didn’t react like that when I was a child…”,“Look, a thirty-year-old aunt, but she is happy like a child”,“Let's invite Masha to the exhibition, she really knows how to admire!”.
However, not everything is so simple with this hyperemotionality. If something frightening, connected with the intimate spheres of life, has settled in the subconscious of the CG, in adulthood it will definitely detonate in some kind of dysfunction. Most often, the reasons for such dysfunction are not recognized, but their essence does not change from this: fears, fear, psychological trauma associated with violence (often in the family), emotional instability ("tendency to exaltation"), an increased need for protection, a feeling of insecurity …
Vaginismus is one of the most common dysfunctions associated with psychological trauma of a skin-visual girl. Of course, he does not always take forms incompatible with intimate life, spasms are not strong, and not particularly painful, which simply delays the process of penetration. However, in most cases, uncontrolled contractions of the vaginal muscles create painful sensations and make sex unlikely, exacerbating the situation with stress in the partner and the development of complexes and phobias in the girl herself …
… When Lera was seventeen, a boy named Vova fell head over heels in love with her, who showered her withts and almost prayed for her as an icon. They were engaged in the same sports center, she - dancing, he - wrestling. Strong, athletic, athletic, he courted patiently, often amused her and surprised her with his physical strength. For example, after training, he could carry her on his hands from the sports complex to the house. Next to him, Lera felt protected, almost like when she hugged a large teddy bear on her couch at home.
Once they ended up together in a country sanatorium, where a regional sports meeting was held. Squeezed comfortably between the river and the forest, the sanatorium was surrounded by scenic spots where beautiful pictures could be taken. Like most girls with a skin-visual vector, Lera loved to be photographed and posed with pleasure. The Spartakiada Games were drawing to a close when Vova and Leroy went with a camera to an impromptu picnic. Lera, like a predatory cat, lay down on tree branches, looked out of the grass as a mischievous animal, curled up in a cozy ball on a small blanket against the background of the river, and Vova with increasing pleasure stopped the beautiful moments. At some point, the photo session turned into a date full of caresses and kisses. Well, then everything went somehow by itself,as it usually happens with lovers … Lera forgot to think about last year's case in the doctor's office, she felt good and pleasant and wanted the same thing as her boyfriend, when suddenly … everything happened again!
Only this time everything seemed to Lera at times more terrible: she felt as if a discharge of electricity had hit between her legs, everything shrank, it became painful and unpleasant. My heart was beating like a maddening cold, clammy sweat. Lera drew back from her boyfriend and burst into tears. Inexperienced Vova did not understand anything and only repeated like an instinct: “Did I hurt you? Are you in pain? Lera no longer wanted to meet him. And with other gentlemen who rained down on her like hail on a wheat field, the relationship did not advance further than kissing … Lera was afraid of repetition.
She was burdened by a problem about which she did not dare to talk to anyone. One day she even had a strange thought that she might be a lesbian, and therefore she does not succeed in contact with men. The idea was inspired by a new hobby - a Spanish teacher at the institute, which Lera found unusually attractive. Confident, determined and ironic, she has earned a reputation for breaking the rules, having lived in several countries by the age of thirty and changed several husbands. Lera was surprisingly calm and easy next to her, she forgot about her problems and fears. At some point, she felt that she was truly in love with her "Spanish woman". It was then that she had strange thoughts about her own orientation, which seemed to explain the reasons for her problem.
In fact, what sexologists call one of the causes of vaginismus, in this case, is rather its consequence. If a suppressed CG, carrying trauma associated with violence, and, in particular, suffering from vaginismus, meets a woman who often has a urethral vector, she may well fall in love and even enter into an erotic relationship.
First, the smell of the urethral female gives any suppressed CZ the feeling of security and attractiveness that she desperately needs. And since a feature of the cutaneous-visual ligament of vectors is the lack of regulation of sexual behavior, ease in relationships and attraction based on an emotional connection, it is very easy for carriers of such a ligament to fall in love with anyone - even a tree or a hedgehog, not to mention the urethral leader. At the same time, KZ is not shy and does not feel guilty, because love is in any case wonderful!
Secondly, CG with vaginismus often subconsciously seek protection in a relationship with a woman, because a man is a potential source of pain and an “activator” of their problem. As a result, lesbian relationships can be a perfectly acceptable way out for them.
Having received knowledge at the training "System-vector psychology", it is possible to get rid of vaginismus on your own. Running away from the problem, including going into a homosexual relationship, is probably an interesting experience, but it has one significant drawback: no matter how much you run and hide in a surrogate relationship, the problem remains unresolved. And vaginismus is still not at all something with which an emotional and sensual woman should live her whole life. …
