Emotional addiction: what to do if you can't let go of the past
Getting stuck in the past hurts because it prevents you from living in the present. This does not mean that you have to forget everything and decide that nothing happened. Forgetting will still not work. Nobody will take your past away from you, don't even worry! It's just that you can start to relate to the past differently, perceive it with gratitude, as a bright feeling, and not with pain and resentment.
There is only one love. One for life. You remember everything exactly, down to the smallest detail. And the past seems to be permeated with light. How he smiled, how he looked at you, what he said and what he did. And everything about him was beautiful. For you, he will forever be the best man in the world. How many years have passed, and your feelings have not changed. You may not be together, but you remember everything. And emotional dependence slowly erodes your strength and eats away at your soul with the pain of unhappy love.
You tried to get rid of emotional dependence, tried to find your happiness with another man. More precisely, no. You tried to prove to yourself that you can do without him. I tried to hurt myself even more.
You thought that when he saw this, he would intervene and not allow it. But no, he did not intervene and allowed it. How could he do this to you? Why didn't you do anything? And what should you do with that other man whom you do not love and will never be able to love?
Emotional addiction: when the past lives on you
That one love. Memories poison the soul with a slow poison. You live in this past and do not notice the present. Why this happens - explains the System-Vector Psychology of Yuri Burlan. People with an anal-visual ligament of vectors tend to become emotionally dependent on the past, from unfinished relationships. It is for them that the past has a magical appeal. For them, everything that came before is better. Becoming the past, events are portrayed by him in an exaggeratedly joyful light. Our memory, despite the fact that it is just phenomenally good in analo-visual people, is still subjective. I no longer remember the mass of problems that were, but I remember only the good. Or, on the contrary, in a good relationship, one offensive episode will suddenly be remembered, and then you remember this very offense for the rest of your life and you cannot forget it or forgive it.
It is in a person with an anal vector that the conviction arises: there is only one love and for life. And even if the relationship did not work out, such a person is ready to carry fidelity to this uncompleted love throughout his life. Only this is no longer love - it is an emotional dependence on the past.
Remaining mentally in the past, a person with an anal-visual ligament of vectors cannot start a new relationship. More precisely, he can try, but without letting go of the past, he will not be able to fully reveal himself in these relations. Such a person can rationalize that everyone needs a pair, so one must create one. But having created a couple, he will not let a partner into his inner world, remaining closed and all the time remembering past love. Most likely, the new relationship will follow the scenario of emotional dependence: the partner will love you, but you will not. You will be weighed down by his signs of attention, his manifestations of feelings, because inwardly you will not be able to respond to him in kind. After all, all your feelings have long been given to another, you are not capable of a new love.
Emotional Addiction: Coldness in the Ashes of Past Feelings
If you are emotionally dependent on past relationships and are trying to create new ones, a common emotional field does not arise in a new relationship, because you avoid sharing openly with each other your emotions, experiences, feelings. And this is one of the reasons why unreasonable claims arise in a couple, because in the absence of sincerity, when partners are afraid to reveal to each other, each thinks out something of his own. Such a relationship is doomed to break. Because, by and large, everyone thinks about himself and not about another. When an emotional storm seeks a way out and does not find it, then these emotions burn out inside, manifesting themselves as external alienation and coldness.
The partner is waiting for signs of attention, manifestations of feelings, and you cannot give them to him, because you locked them deep inside and are afraid to expose your feelings. Emotional dependence, especially to the past, in contrast to love, is extremely destructive for a person with a visual vector.
A person with a visual vector, having a huge emotional amplitude and literally inexhaustible potential to feel, love and compassion, forbids himself to love and be loved. He hides from emotions, avoids them. Because he is not thinking about how to give love, but about how to avoid pain.
In addition, it can be difficult for an anal-visual person to see someone else's happiness, because inside himself he experiences a huge resentment for the fact that his first relationship did not work out. And he closes himself even deeper in his shell of emotional dependence, emotional alienation and resentment. And he forbids himself to even approach what love is, to fight for happiness.
But you yourself are tired of suffering. You want to understand how to get rid of the emotional addiction that stretches from the past and poisons life.
Emotional Addiction Treatment: Let The Past Go
To get rid of emotional dependence, you first need to let go of the past - in order to start a new relationship from scratch, without resentment and without the risk of falling back into emotional dependence.
System-vector psychology explains that for a person with an anal vector, the past is really very important: he constantly looks back, comprehending his experience. Only getting stuck in the past hurts, because it prevents you from living in the present. This does not mean that you have to forget everything and decide that nothing happened. Forgetting will still not work. Nobody will take your past away from you, don't even worry! It's just that you can start to relate to the past differently, perceive it with gratitude, as a bright feeling, and not with pain and resentment.
The training System-vector psychology helps to forgive insults and put an end to past relationships. When you let go of the past, you will have new strength to live. You will feel lightness and joy from each new day. And you will look to the future with hope. And then love will surely come to you! True love that has nothing to do with emotional addiction.
How to avoid repeating the mistakes of the past and create true intimacy?
Getting rid of love addiction: learning to understand what love is
How does love arise?
When attraction arises between a man and a woman, falling in love begins between them. And then she can develop into love, or she can follow the path of emotional dependence. It depends on the overall effort the two are making.
Love is a desire to make a loved one happy, sincerity and trust between loving people.
You need to understand that the tone in a relationship is always set by a woman. It depends on the woman, and then on the man, what kind of relationship it will be. A relationship where two people will sincerely share their feelings, or a relationship where everyone will think about their own, and partners will meet only in the morning in the common kitchen and swear, "why does he take so long to use the toilet."
Therefore, it is a woman who must be internally ready for a relationship, ready to share emotions with a man, to let him into her life. In response to her sincere feelings, the man will do everything for her. And then a real couple will form.
Emotional Addiction Treatment: Sharing Feelings Without Fear
The creation of new relationships can be impeded not only by fear of repeating bad experiences and emotional dependence on the past, but also by the fear of new relationships. It is easier for us to worry about ourselves than to take a step towards our partner and open up our feelings to him. But if you dare to talk about your experiences, then he will also tell you about his own, and you will learn a lot about him, see him from an unexpected side. An island of sincerity and trust will appear and grow between you.
Gradually, sharing your innermost things with each other, you will open his soul, the depth of his thoughts and the power of feelings, which you did not even know about before. Step by step, you can build a bridge of trust that connects you. After all, people meet on our way for a reason. And if a man appears in your life, then you have the opportunity to create a sincere, warm relationship with him. A real relationship that will only get stronger over time. Getting rid of love addiction: the happiness of giving love To get rid of emotional addiction and how the relationship in a couple changed after the training, read the results:
Come to the free online training System Vector Psychology to get rid of emotional addiction forever.
