How not to drown the chosen one in emotions, or Why doesn't he tell me about love?
Life often shuffles the love deck in an amazing way. A classic example: a handsome man who does not take his loving eyes off his grumpy fear-man-wife under the bewildered whisper of lonely clever beauties: "And what did he find in her ?!"
She fell in love with him for his torment, and he loved her for compassion for them …
Shakespeare. Othello
Life often shuffles the love deck in an amazing way. A classic example: a handsome man who does not take his loving eyes off a grumpy fear-man-wife under the bewildered whisper of lonely clever beauties: "And what did he find in her ?!" However, marriage combines not only the beautiful with the ugly, but also the smart with the narrow-minded, the funny with the bore, the eccentric with the quiet, the nervous with the phlegmatic, etc. As my mathematician friend says, the number of combinations is directly proportional to the square of the set of potential human characters.
However, most often a wide variety of paired combinations are found where the female part of the pair is a woman with a visual vector. Remember the once popularly beloved game "Tetris", where various geometric shapes fell from top to bottom, which had to be combined with the figures lying below? So, a woman with a visual vector, regardless of the characteristics of her figure, can be combined with almost any man. The secret of such "omnivorousness" lies in the peculiarities of the visual vector, the only one capable of true and all-consuming love in all senses and manifestations.
If someone else's soul is darkness, and women's logic begins where all logic ends, then the spectator's love is simply the apogee of these and other similar sayings taken together. In a woman with a visual vector, the flared up feeling may not be connected at all with a kinship of souls, or with a unity of interests, or even with an erotic passion. The most transparent love motive is beauty, which is known to be a terrible force. The visual vector endows its owner with an exquisite taste and craving for beauty, including the physical beauty of the opposite sex. “Yes, he is cheating on me, and I suffer terribly, but just look what his eyes are! And his face! It's just the face of a Greek god! For such beauty, you can forgive everything and endure everything. Here's one of the explanations for the union of a handsome man and an ugly one, by the way. Nobody worships him like that!Nobody admires him like that! No one else looks at him with such adoration as an ugly visual woman.
It is even easier for the visual dreamer to fall in love with talent. “I saw his thin artistic brushes and lost my head!”, “He played the guitar so amazingly, I just flew away,” etc. No less often, the audience is attracted by the intellect. "He knows so much, it's just incredible!" And of course the spectators often fall in love out of pity and compassion. “In our group, he was the only orphan, he always wore the same trousers and a worn sweater, my heart was just bleeding”, “The boss gave him such a blow in front of everyone that it was a pity to look at him. And for some reason I really wanted to feel sorry for him."
And it also happens that, in the absence of other options, the spectators do not fall in love, but … are intimidated: into brute strength, into pumped up muscles, into relief biceps. Next to such, they feel "like a stone wall." Not burdened with talent and intelligence, but large and strong men have every chance to lasso the heart of the spectator with all its bottomless ocean of adoration and emotional affection.
The result of all these love misunderstandings usually sooner or later becomes a misunderstanding in the family, resulting in resentment, tears, showdown and real scandals. And all this begins when the initial emotional intensity subsides and it becomes clear how far from each other the visual She and the unseen He.
Introverted spouse
- Honey, you used to sit next to
me all the time, looking into my eyes and holding my hands …
And now you don't pay me any attention at all!
“Well, we finally sold that awful piano that
you played every night.
Modern anecdote
There is nothing worse for a visual woman than the lack of attention from the man she chose. Well, or its lack, which is almost the same. Most often, such problems arise with a spouse who is an audio specialist. Even if during the candy-bouquet period the sound engineer makes an effort on himself and gives the face the most interested expression, for most of the time he spends together, he somehow turns his thoughts in his head, which have a very distant relationship to what is happening.
As a result, the most common reason for the disagreement between a spectator and her beloved sound engineer is that, in her opinion, he pays too little attention to her. Indeed, he can sit for hours on the Internet and google some strange topics that, at the outside glance, are not related to each other. An audio man can hover over an empty piece of paper for the whole evening, looking somewhere inward, and when it seems that he is sleeping with his eyes open, he suddenly begins to write line by line. He can meditate for days or listen to boringly monotonous mantras. He can discuss some kind of psychedelic nonsense with people like him, clever people or write manifestos and appeals to humanity. He might even be a hard rock fan or equally hard drugs. But only to her, he absolutely does not care! "Honey, go to supper"uttered in even the most gentle voice under the most delicious aromas can simply hang in the air. And you can't wait to "talk" from him. So many things happened in a day, she was so bored, and he came, hugged, smacked, muttered "All the rules" - and dived into his computer.
And it's still good if he came on time, and not after midnight, carried away by a new project or another crazy idea.
The viewer needs to throw out her experiences. She needs emotional support, a sympathetic listener, an understanding interlocutor, a fireman who will throw firewood into the furnace of her passions and emotions. For the sound engineer, all the most interesting happens inside, his real life is in his head, in his soul: endless questions, answers and new questions; torments, doubts, searches, hypotheses, disappointments and illusory hopes. Everything outside is often perceived as extraneous noises and stimuli that distract from endless inner work. No, the sound engineer, of course, is capable of feelings and loves his lady in his own way, but he does not need so much communication. It is enough for him that she is there, and all he wants is to be left alone at home and not touched. He is simply not ready to devote a large chunk of his life every day to the news of friends and girlfriends, to impressions of a new book or film, to a discussion about the color of a blouse or a new method of losing weight.
As a result, the visual wife, not receiving the necessary dose of emotions and "exchange of energies", brings herself almost to hysterics, trying to squeeze at least some attention out of her sonic husband. “You don’t spend any time on me! This box is more important to you than a living person! Can you say a word? After all, I live with a man or with a computer program ?! " - such heated tirades are often heard from the apartment of my neighbors, where the wife-teacher tries to "communicate" with her husband, the system administrator of a city newspaper. By the way, I have never heard male screams in response. Most often, after women's screams, a slam of the door is heard, and then resounding, gradually subsiding sobs. All this is repeated at intervals of 2-3 times a month.
Our entire floor is wondering when the couple will finally disperse. And for some reason it seems to me that a husband who does not shout to a cry and does not react to scandals with aggression is still at of fate, and not its irony.
Workaholic husband
- Honey, you have completely stopped paying attention to your family!
You are not even the father of our last child!
Modern anecdote
A workaholic husband is still to attack. You won't wish it on anyone. And for a visual woman, such a husband is just like a spit in the soul. Yes, he makes a career, yes, he makes money. But how could this be more important than their relationship ?! More important than their family, finally!
Husbands who are preoccupied with careers and work are most often found among the owners of two vectors: skin and anal. Moreover, these are completely opposite representatives of the workaholic clan.
Kozhniki are careerists who show off on business trips, defiantly leave work only after the boss, love to go to conferences and seminars with reports and presentations. For the sake of the heights of the career ladder, they are able to develop vigorous activity and create the appearance of work of any intensity. At the same time, they are the real generators of ideas, natural-born bosses and commanders, capable of making breakthroughs, promoting projects and leading them. Leading, being the first, squeezing out competitors and intriguing against colleagues dangerous to their careers - in all this they have no equal. But all this is most often, alas, at the expense of the family. For careerists with a cutaneous vector, a wife is a reliable rear who must understand and support all her husband's endeavors.
Skinners are usually affectionate and attentive, but not when they are tired at work and crawl home, squeezed like a lemon and irritated. What kind of communication is there … At best, an evening with your family looks like a scene from an anecdote: "Vasya, stop dakin ', I haven't talked to you for half an hour." Offended by the inattention of her husband-careerist, spectators sometimes sublimate their need for communication. Either they go headlong into shopping, squandering the money earned by their spouse (most often they are female spectators with a skin vector, enjoying expensive purchases), or they get the attention and communication they need on the side. And it's good if the "side" is a hobby club or some kind of girlfriend who does not threaten family happiness, and not a fitness trainer playing with biceps.
The owners of the anal vector are workaholics of a completely different kind. It is not that they have moved up the ranks, they would have kept their place! And then there are so many intriguers and spiteful critics around! Analists are corrosive, diligent, know how to work with large amounts of information and are often afraid of losing their job, justifiably fearing competition from nosy and resourceful skinners. As a result, all these factors taken together create ideal conditions for abuse of their hard work. They are often blamed on the most uninteresting and time-consuming work. They are left to pore over urgent reports. The accumulated documentation is thrown off to them for verification. They are forced to work overtime without any additional compensation, etc., etc. And all this again at the expense of personal time, which they could well spend on their visual spouse,languishing with longing without the attention of her husband disappearing at work.
In tandem between the spectator and the anal workaholic, frustrations often accumulate exponentially. He came home late from work, tired and depressed. She wants companionship, and he wants a hot dinner and peace. And possibly sex. She was silent for a day, or, on the contrary, she saw a lot of people and is full of untold news. He is upset by the next dragging of his superiors or the fact that the salary was raised again not for him. He wants to share his grievances and the frustrations accumulated during the day, and she chirps incessantly, not allowing him to insert a word.
"To talk" is interpreted by both in completely different ways. Hearing his wife's selfish chatter is not part of his evening set of desires. She, on the contrary, bored and having collected unspoken emotions for a day, longs to pour out her unspent attention on the spouse who has appeared in the field of view. The result is often his growing irritation (“and there is no rest at home!”, “And no one is listening to me here”) or her, again, hysteria (“you don’t pay me attention at all!”, “You don’t even wonder how my day "), etc.
If leather workers usually turn a blind eye to their wife's dissatisfaction, paying off with money and gifts, then anal sexes worry and in most cases try to please their wife, torn between work and home, which only increases their stress and tension in the family.
Once upon a time, during the time of total scarcity, the hucksters-speculators practiced a rather funny type of fraud - they sold records with covers of The Beatles, Ottawan, Boney M, etc., bringing home the burdock-buyers who found that the discs contained only one phrase, uttered in a malicious, raspy voice: "Listen to what you bought." Today, amorous visual simpletons bring home their chosen ones and wait for cloudless happiness, deceived by their appearance, talent, intelligence, and a difficult fate. And they don’t even think that they will have to live not with a face, brain or muscles, but with … character. And in order to understand what surprises life together with a man you like can bring, you need not so much - at least try to understand his psychological vectors, so that later you do not shout in his ear every evening:"You pay no attention to me at all!"
