Why is my husband jealous if I do not give a reason?
If the relationship develops normally, then an emotional bond is formed between a man and a woman, which cements their union so much that they no longer need anyone else, love and desire only each other. But what if something went wrong?
You know that you are a wonderful wife - faithful, devoted, loving. Of course, not a stay-at-home and not a recluse, you have time everywhere - both at work and at home. But you have always felt that the most important thing in your life is your family, husband, children. Therefore, outbursts of jealousy in your husband revolt you to the core. “Who to be jealous of? you exclaim. - And most importantly - why, if the whole meaning of my life is in the family? I never give a reason!"
How do you know what's going on? How to convey to your husband that you are not going to cheat on him? How to stop these unfounded outbursts of jealousy? The training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan helps to understand the hidden mechanisms of relationships between a man and a woman and to return mutual understanding to the family.
Is jealousy a thing of the past?
A man just looks so strong and self-confident. In fact, his psyche is as vulnerable as a woman's. In a man, nature has a strong desire to pass on his seed, to continue his race in time. The significance of the birth of his child is extremely high for him. This makes the man especially zealous to ensure that his wife belongs only to him, because only this can guarantee him the realization of his task.
If the relationship develops normally, then an emotional connection is formed between a man and a woman, which cements their union so much that they no longer need anyone else, love and desire only each other. In such a relationship, trust naturally arises that does not need to be double-checked. There is simply no reason for jealousy in such a couple. But what if something went wrong?
Why is he jealous?
In different vectors, the causes and manifestations of male jealousy may be different. So, a man with a skin vector, with insufficient implementation in society, is himself prone to adultery. So he tries to fill his natural desire for newness, change. And he can judge his wife through himself: since I want to change and change, then she wants and can. At the same time, a strong sense of ownership in relation to his wife - she belongs only to me and has no right to communicate with someone else - provokes him to constantly monitor her contacts and movements. A skin man is an owner by nature, and when he does not realize his properties in society, in work, he wants everything only for himself.
In men with an anal vector, jealousy has a different color and reasons. Faithfulness and devotion of a wife for them are the most valuable qualities, and the blow to them is felt especially painful. It is based on the desire for purity in everything and the integrity of relationships in particular. He himself is extremely monogamous and expects the same from his half. A woman's purity is crucial to him.
In addition, past experience is extremely important to him. He has a very good memory and systems thinking with a tendency to systematize and generalize. That is why, if he once faced with a woman's infidelity, he transfers this experience to all subsequent relationships, generalizing and counting all women "send …". If the wife has given at least once a fleeting reason to doubt her loyalty (even if not wishing it), he will reproach her with this all the time, without hesitation in expressions.
One of the reasons for such reproaches is that he was not the first man for his woman. For such a man, this is a blow, sometimes incompatible with mental comfort. This is how his psyche is arranged - all the first is perceived better than the next. That is, the first one is a priori better than himself. And his own desire to be the best for his woman turns out to be automatically and obviously impracticable.
These thoughts are capable of literally harassing a man with an anal vector, and his companion may at the same time absolutely not understand why he constantly asks about her past, is jealous of her former partners, who are already gone.
Don't Brace Yourself, or All About Unconscious Provocations
It is interesting that quite often a woman with a skin-visual ligament of vectors is paired with such a man, which, unwittingly, will give him many reasons for jealousy, because her nature is so seductive.
For example, a woman who has both an anal vector and a skin-visual ligament of vectors in her vector set will experience conflicting desires within herself.
On the one hand, the value of the family, loyalty, devotion, honesty for her is unusually high. She does not want to cheat on her husband in her thoughts. On the other hand, the optic cutaneous ligament makes her want to flirt, seduce, clap her eyes. Sometimes even unconsciously. She just likes the attention of men, it excites her. She smiles at them sweetly and looks into their eyes.
Imagine you came to visit with your husband. You didn't even think to seduce anyone, but the desire to get attention and sharp emotions against your will manifests itself in a slight flirtation, a desire to communicate more with men than with women. And the husband is already boiling, because he also feels these rampant pheromones, sees your smiles.
And deeply the problem is that he is not sure of you, since you yourself did not give him this confidence. By understanding your desires and your man's reactions, you most likely would not abuse his patience. If you don't want a scandal, then it is better to do everything so that your husband understands: you came with him and none of the men interests you anymore. If you eliminate any ambiguity in relationships with other men, and in everyday life you will often communicate heart to heart with your husband, then jealousy will cease to be an annoying misunderstanding in your life.
Why is he allowed, but not me?
Women are often indignant over such injustice: why is it permissible for a man to behave freely, while a woman should be shy and blameless? Where does this discrimination come from? After all, we live in an era of gender equality, when the dependent role of women has ceased to be such. A woman already realizes herself almost on an equal footing in society, is often financially sound and makes decisions herself. So why is female infidelity still so harshly condemned by society, while male infidelity is only rewarded with a slight understanding censure? They say that you take from men - their nature is such, polygamous. By the way, the myth about polygamy of men is dispelled by Yuri Burlan at his training "System-vector psychology".
This "unfair" situation is also natural and has its own reasons. The fact is that one of the earliest social taboos on female behavior, which is expressed in female modesty, is a necessary condition for the survival of the species. This is a taboo on seduction, so that men do not kill each other for the right to possess a woman who demonstrates her availability to everyone.
Remember how two mountain rams fight for a female until one of them "falls the death of the brave." The same animal instincts are still present in humans. Does society need such sacrifices? Of course not. Therefore, at all times, female modesty was appreciated. In senses, this is how the desire for the survival of the species expresses itself - the basic law of nature. A woman should behave chastely, that is, belong to only one man. And in general, as a rule, it finds a natural response in any woman, except for one - the skin-visual.
The magic of emotional connection
Yes, a woman with a cutaneous-visual ligament wants to feel excitement, to experience emotions at the peak, and often this is due to the presence of men in her life. This is the structure of the skin-visual woman - not belonging to anyone, not giving birth.
What to do? Break yourself? Give up your desires to please your husband? But if a person does not realize his desires, he gradually loses his taste for life, falls into apathy.
It's simple. The need to flirt, to flirt, comes from the desire to create emotional connections. Love, communication is the meaning of the life of a skin-visual woman. And these desires can be realized in a variety of ways, for this it is not necessary to seduce other people's husbands.
If such desires exist, it suggests that you have not developed a sufficient emotional connection with your own husband. Ask yourself: How often do you have a heart-to-heart talk with him? How often are you interested in his states, experiences, except for those on duty "How are you?" and "What hurts you?" Is the emotional connection with him really in the first place, even ahead of communication with children? When was the last time you were alone with each other, trusted each other with your innermost? Surely you still have something to do in this direction, since your unspent emotionality bursts out with fiery bursts, burning with jealousy the closest and dearest person - your husband.
Learn more about the art of soulful conversation, the amazing disclosure of sexuality in a couple and new opportunities for couples relationships at the online training "System-vector psychology" by Yuri Burlan.