An offensive ball, or gloating and mate will grind everything. Part 1
They say that "laughter prolongs life." But is it? You will be surprised to learn that not every laughter carries the life-giving and health-improving value that is attributed to it …
My friend got a big bundle of "offensive balloons" for her birthday. OLD COW, BABA-BOMB, TIME HAS NOT GIVEN YOU, IN Hell, YOU WANTED, ANOTHER A YEAR CLOSER TO DEATH - these were the most decent inscriptions on the "stylish" black balloons, the rest were swearing. Are you wondering what was the reaction to such "congratulations"? First, the shock and the inability to "make a face". Then the friend regained control of herself, because “friends with a sense of humor will appreciate such an original gift” - so they promised in the advertisement.
And he heard an uncertain laugh … Well, then the whole company was "burned out". It turned out that "balls with abusive words are cool and fashionable, this is the best choice!" The general laughter relaxed everyone. There was a queue of people who wanted to make a photo session with offensive balloons.
But only after the holiday there was a feeling of a painful emptiness inside and a misunderstanding, what was it all the same - a joke or an insult?
Why such communication is dangerous - the training System Vector Psychology by Yuri Burlan answers.
Did you know that joy is different? Kind - when we rejoice for the success of others, and evil - when we laugh (evil rejoice) at someone who got into an awkward situation, fell, said absurdity, sat in a puddle. Today, video bloggers have even appeared who promote their channels on the fact that they criticize evil and devalue other people's content, throw mud at everyone and everything.
People are characterized by hostility towards others, such is the still imperfect human nature. With the help of culture, people overcome this dislike and learn to live together. A person always has a choice - to show schadenfreude or sympathy towards another person. It is with empathy that concepts such as culture, morality, and humanity begin. However, everything that causes malicious laughter erodes the cultural layer and again turns us into primitive people not limited by culture.
Few people realize that those experiencing "evil joy" lose the ability to experience real joy. The main result of the manifestation of gloating is emptiness inside and the loss of the joy of life. At the same time, no one even guesses about the primary source of such a bleak existence …
The nature of laughter
They say that "laughter prolongs life." But is it? You will be surprised to learn that not every laughter carries the life-giving and health-improving value that is attributed to it.
At the training "System-vector psychology" we will learn about the other side of laughter. By its origin, laughter is of an animal nature, because monkeys laugh too. Laughter relaxes people and relieves tension. From what? From restriction by culture, which restrains the animal nature of man. Laughter devalues feelings: it removes fear, anxiety, reduces awkwardness, removes shame, drowns out the conscience. That is why, for example, a good joke is so prized in war. But laughter doesn't solve the problem. He only mutes it, but such a disguise does not last long.
It's quite another matter when we have to empathize and empathize. Even if such feelings are mental work and emotional costs, they give an amazing feeling of flight and inspiration. Try to observe and you will see that it is so. Where there is laughter, there is no place for deep feelings: the one who “neighs” all the time is less sensitive, less loving. If there are strong, deep feelings, it is not at all funny there: the one who loves with all his heart never laughs when the other is bad.
Why is this happening to us?
I must say that any commercial offer is always a response to a people's request. As the saying goes, "there is demand - there will be supply." Dirty jokes below the back, flat comedies, such black balls with offensive and abusive inscriptions - this is also a reflection of lacks.
Why do we need such an evil and humiliating laugh? To relieve tension, to lower the degree of hostility that we feel for each other from the fact that we are not able to truly enjoy life, to get what we want most: love and admiration, friendship and love, meaningfulness in life and a sense of stability. In a word, everything that will allow us to say: "Life is good!" Desires and dreams wander in us, but we do not hear them or hear them, but we cannot realize them.
Why? Others get in the way? Boss, neighbor, girlfriend, parents, system? Well, yes, I'm not the one who chops up my dreams in the bud ?!
We are at a dead end in our inability to get what we so desperately want out of life. Unfulfilled dreams, unheard desires gurgle in us with emptiness and irritation to each other, and sometimes to ourselves. Unable to withstand this boil, we begin to ridicule and devalue what could fill life with joy. That it was not so painful and dreary. Love? Yes, I do not need it! Friendship? Yes, I saw her … And again we do not achieve the desired, the circle is closed.
As a result, this is such a life: suffering pain-free with evil jokes instead of joy from the realization of the plan. Swearing and vulgarity instead of love, "heifers" instead of beautiful ladies, "ko …" instead of beloved men, "loot" instead of a salary for a job well done, black balls instead of sincere congratulations …
Is it possible to avoid the bad conditions that we are forced to ridicule and belittle? How to live not a dull "half-life", but happiness to the fullest? How do you realize the best version of yourself? The chance for change is given by understanding yourself and other people.
Understanding ourselves - our talents and shortcomings - we can finally understand ourselves and realize our potential. A new state of understanding inspires and gives a feeling of limitless possibilities!
By understanding ourselves and others, we become able to build relationships with parents, loved ones, children, in a team on a completely different level. And people in response are drawn to us, because they become much more comfortable next to us, they feel understood. A happy person does not feel dislike himself, and he wants to respond in kind, to give flowers and smiles, and not black balls and ambiguous evil jokes.