Drug addicts die at midnight. Without a cross in a cemetery for the young
Thousands of graphic illustrations … The scale of this problem is immense. And everyone seems to understand this, but there is always fresh blood in the regiment of drug addicts. As Sting pointed out in one of his interviews, it is obvious that the current way of fighting drugs is not working. So, we must look for another …
Finding yourself at the end of the needle
Why do they become drug addicts?
“Thank God, I know about what drug addiction is only by hearsay. And I don't understand very well why people go for such a thing. After all, it always ends in the same way - with terrible torment and cruel death. And while the addict is alive, his relatives are suffering.
(Hydepark reader)
What do drug addicts' forums write? Drugs - bad - harmful - kill. Hundreds of films are shown. Thousands of graphic illustrations. The scale of the problem is immense. And everyone seems to understand this, but there is always fresh blood in the regiment of drug addicts. As Sting remarked in one of his interviews: "It is obvious that the current way of fighting drugs is not working." So, we must look for another.
Which one? To answer this question, the reader will have to set himself up to search for an answer and reveal the essence of the addict from the inside. At first glance, the question is rhetorical. Indeed, what can we non-users say about the drug and its effects? And how, in essence, can you write about what you don't know? Go to drug addicts on anonymous forums? Learn first-hand?
This is where one of the delusions lies. We will not write about what we do not know. Let's write about what everyone knows.
Does a spoon exist? Narcotics Anonymous and the eternal search
What does each of us know? We live (or do we exist?). We wake up in the morning (for what?). We brush our teeth and go to work (everyday rituals vary). We meet people (or are they with us?). We breathe. We think. We are (and yet?..).
We know for sure that there are people who build their lives without thinking about the second part of the above statements. And we know for sure that there are others - some malacholny, at first glance (in our environment, or at least in our memories, there is such a person). The look is scattered, and sometimes it seems that he will get lost in this material world with his philosophical questions that are useless (are you sure?), Searches for himself. We must live, not philosophize! (“If, of course, you live - this is also a big question,” a question from the “Matrix” about a spoon is thundered into the bottom of consciousness.) The forum of drug addicts is replete with such questions, the answers to which no one hopes to find. And the sadder the situation with drug addiction, the more visitors to such forums and unanswered questions.
Skeptics will shrug their shoulders: this division is very conditional, incomplete - and in general, what does the problem of drug addiction have to do with it? The classification is indeed very arbitrary. But drug addiction is a disease of the soul. And the soul either lives with us, or doubts it. Drugs only add to doubts. And the forums are full of discussions about the soul and the eternal.
Every addict has his own path to the drug. Addicts write their stories on the forums - about the path to the abyss, their crusade for addiction. Your own personal battle for the little illusion of happiness. From "there was nothing to do" and "curiosity" to the all-consuming illusion of "self-confidence", which the drug gives at first. BUT - only at first. This line is thin, fragile and disintegrates rapidly and inevitably for every addict. Drug addicts talk about this too. Forums are hard to read.
Dreams in "pink glasses"
What else do we know about ourselves and the world? We have dreams. There is life. Real. Sometimes boring. Sometimes meaningless (do you think about it too?). Often the usual. Just like others. Or we want it to be like everyone else. But there are still dreams (if you have not forgotten how to dream in the hectic days). And each forum of drug addicts describes everything as it is, without cuts. People are sharing on forums trying to get rid of drug addiction: the drug hits the saint - it aims right at the epicenter of the dream.
A dream is the same illusion. Just to question its existence - as, for example, real life - is not necessary. Dream is an abstraction. And to some - detached, detached and shallowly penetrating into the material REAL world - abstraction becomes clearer than life itself. She is closer to their nature. It allows you to build endless series of successive events, which - let them! - will never happen. The data does not match, is not implemented. But what fractals are lining up in the head!
Who voluntarily chooses life in illusion, prefers it to the so-called real? Let me emphasize - voluntarily! It is only about such addicts - "leading", not "led". Only those who do not differentiate between the world of illusion and the real world. Between life here on Earth and there (destination - may vary, but, in essence, does not matter). Narcotics Anonymous does not divide the outside world into "before death" and "after". They just don't focus on it. They have a different focus - search. For them there is their own world “inside” themselves and an illusory, abstract world “outside”.
This is at its best. As soon as the drug gets into the addict, only empty "rose-colored glasses" remain in him. No abstract meanings. No spiritual throwing. Without the quintessence of his existence - the search for himself in this world. The drug swallows everything. The funnel slowly draws in everything human, leaving only an empty black dot inside, which nothing can fill. Only drugs. Now nothing is needed, not even a forum for drug addicts, where someone else is trying to fight it. There is only a biological robot, first performing the program “use to get some happiness”, then “use to survive”, and then simply “use”. There is no room either for oneself, or for searching, or for doubts, or for questions. Not for fear. Gradually, the addict comes to the conclusion that if his life is threatened, he will not resist. Addicts write about this openly in various forums, posting anonymous stories of leaving the world of illusion.
"Adapter" of the Universe
What else do you and I know about each other? That we are all victims of our own rationalizations. Remember: who wants, finds a thousand opportunities, and who does not want a thousand reasons? Most often, we become victims of the search for the reasons for our own actions. We need to explain our behavior to ourselves. But rationalizations only make life harder, overlapping. We justify our actions without understanding the mechanisms that drive us.
Do you know what drug addicts are taught in rehabilitation centers? Treatment is carried out according to the "12 steps" program in groups of Narcotics Anonymous (or by analogy - Alcoholics Anonymous), developed in the 1930s. The first steps are dedicated to the fact that drug addicts anonymous realize that they are sick, that the properties of their psyche are such, and this must be resigned to.
Yuri Burlan at the training "System-vector psychology" explains these features. Narcotics Anonymous and drug addicts in general are people for whom abstractions are primary, they are the owners of the sound vector. Sound is drawn to comprehend itself. To search as an endless process of self-knowledge. They are like "adapters" between the Universe and man. They have a colossal potential, the need for a spiritual search for oneself and ideas for humanity.
An addict who uses is the same "adapter". Only broken. Unable to fulfill the mission entrusted to him.
Any sound, even undeveloped and unrealized, is drawn to self-knowledge. Searching for yourself in this world and finding peace within yourself. At a higher level - the knowledge of humanity. And this need one way or another will require satisfaction, even if the sound engineer does not know about his search. In case of dissatisfaction, drug addicts anonymous find another unfortunate in their ranks. Drug addicted sound people, who once searched for themselves and went into the world of illusions, at first still wonder about the meaning of life. As the forums show, hard drugs eventually become this meaning, replacing everything. The forums are full of stories of lost meaning.
From the diary of a drug addict:
“I'm still waiting, where is my love. That great love, about which books are written, films are made, and fairy tales are told. That love for which wars happen. The love for which people kill themselves. I had such love, I had it, and I parted with it. Himself, but with the help of friends and God. This love was called Opium. And for his sake I did everything that is described above. I killed myself for it and fomented wars of discord wherever my use took place. I didn’t sleep for weeks in anticipation of love, stealing, deceiving, fighting, betraying friends, sick and dying. I flew on wings to my love, even when my legs refused. When the threat of being caught and punished was more than real. When near me in powerlessness the doctors gave up. And when my friends were dying nearby. Then I parted with the love of my life and started looking for a new love. I changed girlswork, city where I lived. I changed my hobbies, and all in order to experience at least an echo of that love. Something helped more, something less, something still to be tested. I don't even know approximately how long I have left to live, but I really want to spend this time not in SEARCH for love and not in learning to love. I would like to spend this time here and now, loving and enjoying what surrounds me”…
